What the hell 2010? Where did you go? Last time I checked it was spring and I was getting ready for a long summer boat rides and camping trips…

Seriously though, I think I’m OK with the fact that my life has literally flown by before my eyes. At least October is over. October was a little bitch this year. Actually, looking back it was a bitch last year and the year before too. I think next year I’m just going to ignore October all together.

November though, now that’s a month I can deal with. There are so many things happening. So many things to take in. So many things I need to get done before the years over.

November, I hereby pronounce you my bitch. I’ll treat you well and in return you will keep me happy and busy and sane. OK? OK.

I really wanted to try to do that #NABLOHOMO thing, or whatever those letters are that you ambitious people  use to state that you are writing a novel in November. However, since October was an ungracious assholio that left me withering and crying on the floor begging to be hand-fed Cinnamon Toast Crunch, I’ve decided that I’m going to start with just trying to write a little something everyday. OK not EVERYday, but most days… either here or on the other place that I write. I’m also going to try to start reading blogs again. I know… this is all completely out of left field and seemingly drastic given my recent track record, but I’m going to at least try.

On top of trying to write and read like the scholarly person that I am, (HAHAHA) I’ve decided to set some other lofty goals for myself this November.

Movember: It’s a special time of year… A time that I love, not only because of the cause that’s behind the “mouvment,” but also because I really have an affinity for the mustache. Don’t get me wrong, they can be really creepy, but mostly they can be hot. Even when they do happen to be creepilicious, they give me something to laugh about, so basically the mustache is a win/win.

Creepy/Funny/Hopefully ironic mustache.

Good Mustache

(Huge thank you and a giant chest- bump to @Hipstercrite for reminding me that the above image of Burt exists, and so many other awesome things as well. I haven’t been able to comment much lately on anyone’s blog, but this lady’s blog has kept me very entertained the last few weeks.)

Anyway, I could go on about the mustache for days, and I probably will in an upcoming post, but this one is supposed to be about me.

As manly and handsome as they may be, I’ve got my own plans this Movember. Yes it’s true, I’ve decided that this month I will try my damndest NOT to grow a mustache. I know it will be hard, but it can be done. It’s no secret that I’ve been in a bit of a slump these last few months, but it’s time to pull myself together. It’s time I start brushing my hair, make a dentist appointment, and pull out my old friend Nair. It won’t be fun; it will be painful… but it CAN be achieved. If you want to donate money to me for every day that I maintain a womanly, un-ape-like appearance, I’ll gladly give a percentage of it to prostate cancer. Otherwise, I’ll just be doing it for the sake of woman-kind.

A Do-Run Run Run, A Do Run Run: My grandmommy always told me that “hate” is a strong word, so I reallydo  try to refrain from using it. However, I not only like to use the word “hate” when I’m talking about running, but I like to use it often, and usually in the sentence “I effing hate running.”  In fact, not only do I hate running, but I really detest it, and I’m pretty sure detest is a stronger synonym for the word “hate,” which makes the fact that I’ve decided to become a runner all the more Twilight Zone-ish.

I don’t actually know what has come over but I figure it’s time I set a fitness goal for myself. I keep saying that I want to get back to working out every day, but I can’t seem to find the ambition to do so. I figured that if I pick something completely ridiculous, like run a half marathon in three months, and announce that I’m doing it to the internet, that I will at least make an effort not to fail.

I started training for the run tonight. I’m afraid I didn’t get off to the best start.  I put on my running shoes, stuck my ear buds in, and took off down the block. I only got about fifteen yards before I realized I had forgotten to put on a sports bra, which you ladies know is a rookie mistake. I decided not to turn back, but instead turned up the volume on Paul Simon’s “Graceland,” and dance-walked my ass off. I swear, that Paul Simon makes my bootie shake somethin’ else.

So tomorrow I start running, for reals.

Not Drink:

…….

……….

*Crickets*

…….

Oh come on. Yeah right.

Well kinda.

Basically, I have decided to refrain from drinking during the week. It’s already been over a month.. woohoo! I made a little deal with myself. Rather than spend money on bottles of wine, I’ve decided that for every week that I go without drinking, I get to buy 3 (or 4) albums on itunes. For now, I’m sticking with the classic rock genre. I’ve decided that there are too many bands out there that I appreciate well enough, meaning I’ve collected all of their “Greatest Hits” and “Essentials,” but I’ve never really taken the time to delve into their albums.

This week (so far) I’ve been pleasuring my earballs with the aformentioned “Graceland,” and George Harrison’s “All Things Must Pass.” If you have any suggestions of “must-have” albums, please let me know.

Alright, I’m spent. Thinking about all these things I’m supposed to do this month has made me really tired.

I miss your faces and am excited about rejoining the land of the living. (I’m also excited about watching “The Walking Dead,” again next week because that show is badass!)

I know that sounded like I am about to announce something huge.  Well I’m not. Unless you are interested in the fact that my forehead and my chin have simultaneously decided to rage war on my confidence in the form of pimples. Awesome. I look like I’m 11 and back in my awkward stage.

The reason this post is so difficult is because I literally drank enough this weekend to satisfy an entire army of thirsty pirates (there was probably a better way to put that) and I’m pretty sure I lost about a third of my brain cells. I’m really hoping those will grow back because I’m having a difficult time forming complete sentences.  I mean… I looked at a thingy for about ten minutes and I still don’t know what to call it. I did have a super fun weekend, full of lots of dancing and debauchery and laughs… and I’m sure I did more than I few things that I should be regretting, but luckily cannot remember them.

Anybooze, I am writing this on Monday night after completely avoiding all of you today. Seriously. This is the first weekday in about three months that I haven’t spent at least a few hours reading blogs. Me thinks I’ve got a lot of catching up to do.

Since I was completely brain dead this morning and finally decided not to write about how awkward it would be to be a fly on the wall in a room witnessing dry humping (a very strange conversation I got into this weekend), I decided not to post today (now yesterday.) Instead I chose to ignore the blog world entirely and to spend the day reading the other parts of the internet that I have been ignoring the last 3 months. This meant hours upon hours of catching up on youtube subscriptions, watching trailers on IMDB , and reading every article featured  on popurls. And since I’m still semi-stupid, I figure I will share with you some of the highlights…

Someone posted the following video on twitter, and although I cannot remember who it was- I want to give them a big giant hug right now. I seriously watched this at least 18 times today and I have almost completely memorized the dance. Umm… how awesome are those facial expressions?

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Another highlight is from one of my favorite internet sensations, Brental Floss who is someone I kind of actually know in person. Or… I at least met him once. He is best friends with one of my comedy friends ( Holla what MV!!!!) , and back when we were doing a radio show he came on and totally punked me on air. He is one of the funniest people ever, and is all kinds of musically talented. If you have even a tiny bit of love for video games, or music, or comedy… or even if you don’t- you definitely need to check him out. I had a lot of catching up to do, but my favorite (because Zelda holds a giant place in my heart) is part of his “With Lyrics” series, Zelda With Lyrics…

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Oh and here is another one about Toad being gay. I just showed my roommates and even they loved it.

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And while we’re on the subject, I cannot wait to see Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor’s new gay movie- “I love you Phillip Morris.”

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And holy shit. Toby Maguire, Natalie Portman, and Jake Gyllenhall??? I starting bawling just watching this intense preview!

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I can’t believe that I somehow let a few Jon Lajoie videos go posted without my taking notice. And by the by, if you haven’t watched The League (that show that comes on after It’s Always Sunny In Philadelhia,) featuring Jon, then you definitely need to check it out!

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I had a few more links that I wanted to share, but it seems the ambien God’s have taken flight and this post could start to get really ridiculous. Plus I really need the sleep. I promise at some point this week I will get back to being completely blog devoted… Until then, thanks for putting up with my flakiness.