I woke up today in the best mood that I can remember being in, in a really long time. I don’t know if it is because I actually got some sleep or maybe I’ve finally been hit with some Christmas cheer, but either way, I’m going to run with it! I had a great, relaxing weekend. I finally got my Christmas shopping DONE and I got to spend some quality time at the Cinema which really does wonders for my attitude. On Saturday night I went to a “Tacky Christmas Sweater” party which was also a blast. I really love any opportunity to dress up in tacky clothing.

Sunday morning I woke up and checked my purse for all of my belongings, just as I usually do as I am very prone to losing things, and I was extremely bummed to find that my camera was missing. I spent the majority of the morning playing Sherlock Holmes/the guys from the Hangover trying to figure out where it might be. Just as I had written it off as forever lost (like everything else I’ve ever owned,) my friend LA (who I had ridden with and then slept on her couch) called and said she found it… in her purse.

So now I’m pleased to announce a truly momentous land-mark in my life. This Thursday will mark the one year anniversary of my camera and I. The longest relationship that I have ever had with a piece of “technology.” This includes computers, phones, voice recorders, and ipods. I never thought we would last this long. Oh sure, there have been a few close calls. I’ve come close to losing camera more than a few times, and he’s had to endure a few hard drops… But alas, we have somehow made it through this long year together. I’d like to thank all of the people that we’ve shared memories with and who have helped to keep us together this year. I am blessed.

Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, moving on.

Move over John Cusack, there's a new man in town.

I didn’t have time to put up any proper reviews today, mostly because after I saw Avatar in 3D last night, I spent about four hours looking up pictures of Sam Worthington and updating my Blockbuster queue with every movie he has ever made. Most of them don’t look like they will be very good, but I’m not biased where hotties are concerned.

Hopefully I will eventually get a chance to write a review, but for now I will just say that I was really surprised at how much I loved this movie. I had been really skeptical ever since the first trailer came out, and even wrote a post a while back about how I didn’t get the hype. I listen to a lot of film-related podcasts, (my favorites are The Movie Hour and Film Spotting) and this movie has been discussed for over 2 years now as one of the most anticipated movies to EVER be released. After watching the trailers, I had pretty much written Avatar off as nothing but a big-budget popcorn film that would be pleasing to the eye, but wouldn’t have an intriguing story. I was very wrong. I was hooked on the plot from the beginning- and the 2 hours and forty minutes really flew by.

I also saw “Everybody’s Fine” on Friday night. I’m not sure where I got the idea that this might be at least partially comedic (uh… maybe from the trailer) and I’ll let you form your own opinion, but I will tell you that for me, it was one of the most depressing films I have ever seen, right up there with “Rachel Getting Married.” If you read my post last Friday, you may remember that I was kind of an emotional wreck last week, and this movie really didn’t help the situation. I started tearing up about 10 minutes into the film, and straight up bawled the last 45 minutes. Maybe I needed a final round of therapeutic tears. I was exhausted by the time the movie was over and got a great night of sleep, so maybe I suppose it was worth it.

I’m going to go ahead and end this so that I don’t get depressed again thinking about that shitty-ass sob fest I had on Friday night, but before I do let me crawl out from under the rock I’ve been hiding under and ask you, how the hell am I just now seeing Vince’s Shlomi’s “Slap Chop” commercial? Last night my roommates and I were watching a CNBC special on “escorts” and high-end prostitution rings, ironically enough, when we were graced with the slap chop commercial- not one- but four times. This commercial in it’s pure form is entertaining enough. It boasts such lines as “This tuna looks boring. Stop having boring tuna. Stop having a boring life, “ and “You’re going to be in a great mood all day because you’re going to be slapping your troubles away with the Slap Chop.” And of course we cannot forget “ “You’re going to love my nuts.”

After a quick google search, I found out that DJ Steve Porter has taken this infomercial to a whole new level. I guess there is a chance I can owe my chipper mood to watching this about 6 times already.

I realize I’m about 5 months late on viewing this video, but if you’re like me and are oblivious to infomercials, enjoy.

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I have told you before that technology hates me. Like, bad.  I pick up a phone, and it loses service. I sit in front of a computer, and it completely quits working. Since I’ve been at my current job, (for a year and a half) I’ve gone through 3 computers.

3 computers. One which was brand new.

I’m sure my bosses think I’m on porn sites all day contracting computer AIDS, purposely sabotaging my computers so I have an excuse not to work. In actuality, I have NO FREAKING IDEA how or why these computers keep breaking on me. I treat them well. I run anti-virus programs regularly, and I’m very careful about what sites I go to. The only reasonable explanation that I can think of, is that I have been possessed by a frequency demon. I’m not sure it is actually a frequency demon. It may be a computer demon or a technology demon, but I personally think frequency demon has a better ring to it.

But I digress.

I will state for the record now, I am in no way responsible for my current state of, yet again, being without a work computer.

I’ll start from the beginning. (Imagine the following told to you in a ghost story voice. It’s not the most exciting story ever… but I think that will help.)

Last Friday was a normal day at work. It was rainy, and I was planning on leaving early to head to Austin to see my little sister.

As usual, my bosses left (even earlier) to go either hunting, golfing, or fishing… I forget which- on this dark and foreboding day. As usual, I cleared my internet history and shut my lap top down before I headed out.

*Side note- I actually have two work computers. My desktop has Vista, and the marketing software I use, naturally does not work on Vista. Therefore, my bosses begrudgingly had to get me a second computer to use for marketing purposes. A computer which I need in order to get anything done.

Monday morning I came back into work. It was still raining, and I was in a particularly foul mood. The bosses were going to be out until Wednesday, but regardless, since I had left early on Friday, I had plenty of work to do. The early morning was business as usual. I updated the blog, checked my email, and caught up on my friend’s weekends via facebook. Around 10:00 am I turned around to start up my laptop and get started on some mailings.

DUN DUN DUN….

The laptop…. was gone.

At this point I actually didn’t think much of it, and I was a teensy bit excited that I DID have an excuse not to spend the rest of my day swamped with the monotonous task of sending out mailings. The bosses have taken the laptop with them on their hunting trips before, (as my screen saver slide-show of dead deer proved) and I figured that they had taken it again to showcase their killings. Plus, the case was gone- so I was confident that they had packed it up, because the case was nowhere near the actual computer. So I spent the next two days outwardly cursing my bosses for leaving me bored and with nothing to do, but inwardly thanking the heavens that I had extra time to do as I pleased. By late Tuesday though, I was as bored as I have ever been on a 13 hour road trip with my parents. I was racing to answer the phone. Giving insurance quotes never seemed so fun.

First thing Wednesday morning when the bosses returned I popped right in their office to ask for the laptop.

Boss: Distracted that I’d come in without knocking “Ummm… OK.. we’ll get it for you.”

I returned to my desk and about 5 minutes later I was called back into their office.

Boss: “Did you say something about the laptop?”

Me: “Umm yeah… I need it back, so I can… do some work.”

Boss: “Well where is it?”

Me: “Uh… umm… you… have it?”

Boss: “Noooooooo…..”

By this time, everyone in the office (all 6 of them) were up and in the bosses office, eager to know what we were discussing. I explained how I thought that they had taken the computer to put their pictures of bloody deer on, and they acted surprised at the prospect that I would think they would do such a thing. There was no sign of foul-play. No broken windows. Nothing else was missing. We looked in every drawer, under every desk, and in every corner of our tiny office. They asked me about five times if I was sure I didn’t accidentally take it.

Oh sure, I packed a laptop and carried it out without realizing it.

Did I? I seriously started questioning my sanity. I clearly remember leaving the office and driving straight to Ft. Worth to meet up with my friend LA, and we headed to Austin as soon as I got there. But what if I had a crazy drunk ambien moment and drove back to Dallas, stole the computer, and drove back to Austin without even remembering it?

Ok, even I am not that crazy.

The bosses called the cops and talked in length to the owner of the building. They all concluded that, besides the cleaning ladies who the building-owner fully trusts, there is no way that anyone could have gotten into our office without a key.

Its been nearly a week now and there are no new leads. Oh sure, there have been the daily jokes… “So Carissa, if you just bring the laptop back- no charges will be made.” Or the ever so clever, “So, hows that laptop treatin you? You sure were smart in stealing your own work computer to have an excuse not to work.”

I’m over this shit. Even if they decide to get me a new computer, it will take me at least a week to get everything set up again… that is if my software is even compatible.

So I’ve decided to take matters in my own hands. Seriously, I’m thinking of coming to work tomorrow donning a trenchcoat and very large pipe. I WILL get to the bottom of this.

In other words… To whoever is out there, typing away on my work laptop. I hope you are enjoying yourself right now. Because in the very near future (*shaking fist) “I’M GONNA GET YOU!!!!!