Yesterday was my mommy’s birthday.

I won’t tell you how old she is, but since she has recently taken an interest in my blog, I have decided to dedicate a post to the awesomeness that is my mother. I mean she did create me, right? At the very least we can halfway blame that on her.

But really. I think I can honestly say that I can owe a lot of who I am (the better parts) to my dear mom.

When I was young, my mom didn’t work full-time until I was started high school, which was precisely the year that she started teaching again… at my high school. It could have been really bad if my mom wasn’t the cool person that she is. At first, when I thought all of her students hated her (and consequently hated me for being related) it was her idea that I use that as my “in.” So I did.

When the other kids would say things to me like, “yo, your mom’s a bitch, yo.” I started replying back with “Yo, I know… that bitch is crazy. But she wears big tall jockey underwear just so you know.” And they seemed to like it when I dissed her so they started liking me a bit more. My mom didn’t even mind. It didn’t hurt that I once had to be escorted by a security guard into her classroom.

To make a long story short, I had this biology teacher who was very mean. She also smelled of phemaldehyde, which made me want to vomit daily. I finally got the bright idea to put Bath and Body Works lotion on my hands so that I could put my hands over my face when she walked by so that I would smell Plumeria rather than dead rabbit. When the other students saw what I was doing, they all wanted to get in on my genius idea. Pretty soon, I looked around the classroom and every single person was covering their face with their hands which made me crack up uncontrollably. My teacher asked what I was laughing at, and I obviously couldn’t tell her, so I told her  ”it has nothing to do with you.”

For some reason this pissed her off, and she said to me “march yourself out into the hallway,” which is exactly what I did. I marched. Like a soldier… or a Rockette. My biology teacher REALLY didn’t like that so she had a security guard (my school was ghetto) escort me to my mom’s classroom, which was still  in session. Her students were very happy to see that I was in trouble, just like they usually were, and automatically thought I was a bit cooler.

In addition, I got to use her classroom as a locker and I stole all her caramel apple suckers and passed them out to her students when she wasn’t looking.

But I digress. Making me cool in high school is only one of the reasons I love my mom. And on a side note, these days, I don’t know any students who don’t love my mother. I’ve met many over the years, and they all have nothing but good things to say about her.

My mom, my sis and I: circa 1987

Here are just a few of my favorite memories:

* She took me to the zoo literally, every week. She let me get popcorn and peanuts and let me feed the animals even though the signs clearly read “Do Not Feed The Animals.” Even better, she encouraged me to tap on cages of the snakes and reptiles. She knew just how to make the papa rattle snake hiss. Last week when we went to the zoo for mother’s day, she proved to me that she STILL had what it takes to stir the rattlesnake into a tizzy. And she swears it was the same angry snake that we used to nag so many years ago.

* My mom never let me go without. Even though I know we couldn’t afford it, she always made sure that I had something cute to wear to all the important events. She also knew how to pick out the best earrings. I had a huge collection of earrings that included big coke bottle tops, sharks eating people, and huge eyeballs. Even later in life, she always encouraged me to dress how I wanted, even if it wasn’t in style at the time. She took me to vintage stores and instilled in me a love for retro clothing. When I was in Junior high, she even made me homemade bell bottoms with an old tye-dyed shirt.

*She taught me how to wrap houses. For those of you unfamiliar, wrapping is what some of you may have called “toilet papering” a house. She would drive my friends and I around to all the popular boy’s houses, and wait patiently until we were chased away with a water hose. Then, when we got home, she would wait with us in the bushes until they came over to retaliate.

*She gave me my intense love for music. I remember so many days when we would drive to school or swimming lessons with a cassette tape blaring The Beatles, Van Morrison, The Cowsills or Mr Big. She may now be a little embarrassed when I sing loudly in department stores, but she really shouldn’t be, for she is the one who taught me to sing loud and be merry. And I do, everyday.

*She instilled in me a love for all things scary, especially zombies. Some people may look down on the fact that she introduced me to scary movies at such a young age, but I wouldn’t have it any different. Some of my favorite nights in my life were the nights that we would spend cuddled up in her bed watching zombie movies. I remember many nights that my dad would put me to bed, and she wouldn’t even get mad when I snuck back up to play “Zombies ate My Neighbors” with her until late in the night.

Really, this barely puts a dent in all that she has done for me.

More than anything, my mom has taught me that it’s ok to be different. She taught me to laugh, and to embrace the quirky. She gave me a love for reading and dancing and always supported me through all of my endeavors. She has always had faith in me and has shown me a love that only a mother can do. She always believed in me and taught me to believe in myself, even when others didn’t. And she continues to teach me to be a better person every day of my life.

Mom, if you’re reading this- I forgive  you for all mornings when you woke me up blaring the Star Trek theme song. I forgive you for giving me a fear of boogers (threatening me with them when I acted up in the car) and for my fear of sharks (reading me shark attack stories on the way to the beach).

I know we’ve had some tough times, but in the long run, none of that will matter. What I will always remember is how you have always been there for me. You have always been a person I strive to be, and I look up for you for all that you have done with your life and for how many people you have touched. You are honestly the best mom and friend a gal could have. I love you so much and I hope that you have a wonderful birthday!

I love you!

Carissa

And as a bonus, I don’t think I mentioned how talented my mom is at making videos. You can check out some of her videos on her youtube channel, but I also want to share a video she made (we both filmed) when we went to the zoo on Mother’s day.

[There is a video that cannot be displayed in this feed. Visit the blog entry to see the video.]

Have a great weekend!!!!

Today, though… I am determined to make today a good day.  I have no excuse for it not to be!

For one, I’m off work today! I know a lot of you suckers had Monday off to celebrate the dude who discovered America… well I, for one would much rather be off on a Friday when I actually feel good.

Things have been kind of hectic in my life lately, and I haven’t exactly been in the best of spirits.

But by george, I’ve got plenty of reasons why I know this weekend WILL be a success.

First thing this morning, I’m heading to the post office to get myself a passport.  I am a total loser, and I haven’t been out of the country since my senior trip after high school, but I’m tentatively planning on going to Mexico in December- and I’m pumped!

Note to self: Your passport has the potential for being around for the next 10 or so years. Do not make this like your license. Fix your hair. Put on a descent shirt, and for the love of God- at least use spit and a t-shirt to remove the black from under your eyes.

OK.

Back to my weekend.

I get to see my sister, for the third weekend in a row! I know that doesn’t sound like a huge deal, but we sometimes go months without seeing each other, and right now there is no one in the world that I would rather spend time with.

Additionally, one of my best friends who I haven’t seen in forever is in town this weekend. This is the girl who sent me a pair of traveling pants a few months ago when I was upset about a boy. Have I mentioned how great my friends are?

At some point this weekend, even if it isn’t until Sunday, I am going to go see Where the Wild Things Are. I have seriously been neglecting the cinema lately, and my insides are starting to ache a little.

On top of that, I am going to the State Fair today! I’ve never been before. I’m going to try my best to resist trying this fried butter that I keep hearing so much about. ( BARRRRFFF) But mostly I want to act like a fourteen year old who just got their braces off and is running around yelling “yippeeeeee,” and riding every ride.  Maybe I’ll even find a dreamy boy to ride the ferris wheel with… and maybe just maybe, he’ll pull the stretch yawn move and put his arm over my shoulder. (Anyone remember that?)

As if I need to add anything to make this weekend even more perfect, but Saturday is homecoming at my college- and I am super excited to get to go back. I’m sure I’ll run into people who I haven’t seen in a long time, and for the first time in a while- I am actually kind of excited about running into people!

I’m usually that girl who puts her head down I see you, and feigns that I don’t recognize you. But today I have a bit of an incentive to be a little more confident.

If you’ve been following me you know that a few years ago I was pretty close to becoming a contestant on The Biggest Loser. For the trip to the final round of eliminations in Los Angeles, they told everyone to pack a “goal” item of clothing. I chose a black dress that I had kept from my senior year in high school. It wasn’t anything special, just a sleeveless dress from Express, but it has become a very important item of clothing for me in the last couple years as I have been struggling to lose weight. I have kept it tucked away at my parent’s house, and every few months I pull it out and try it on… just to see. Well this last weekend I pulled it out from it’s hiding place, you know… just to see…

And sweet baby Jesus!  It actually  fit!!!! I don’t plan on actually wearing this dress anytime soon… or maybe I will… to get my passport picture taken in. You know, just because I can.

Just so you get a better idea as to why I am so excited, you have to realize that I couldn’t even get this dress over my boobies 2 years ago.

I don’t have many pictures left of myself from that size, (because I destroyed them all) but here is the best I can find… And I can’t believe I’m resurrecting this.

yeah, that's me on the left.

But alas, after 2 long years, about a million trips to the gym, and very little bread… Here I am in this very old dress that I have grown a tiny bit obsessed with. (Please ignore my face in this picture. No makeup+no sleep= kinda scary.)

Welp, I can’t believe I’m going to post this. But there it is! That’s me!

Happy weekend yall!