Take my best friend for an example.  One would think that I would know everything about her after being best friends for nearly 10 years.  She is more like a sister than anything. We finish each others sentences, know when each other are lying (which isn’t rocket-science with me), and I’m pretty sure we can read each others minds, though we haven’t really tested it in a controlled environment just yet. But the other day over some beers and salsa we were playing a game of “would you rather,” and I asked her if she’d rather date Batman, Superman, or Spiderman.

I totally pegged her as a Superman type o’ gal, because she totally digs those pretty boy types, but she threw me for quite a whirl and said she’d pick Batman. What? I know. I think Batman seems like kind of a bore. He’s all holed up in that mansion with nobody except for some old dude to keep him company. And he doesn’t even have any real powers. I’m a Spiderman girl myself. I’ve only seen one and a half of the movies, but he seems kinda nerdy…  I can dig that.

But that’s not what I wanted to talk about.

I spend all this time trying to figure people out. I create scenarios in my head, imagining how people would react in certain situations. When I’m in a room with a group of people, I sometimes like to pretend  that the zombie apocalypse has just started. Who will die first? Who will totally kick zombie ass? Who will be the sucker that makes out with her boyfriend who has become a zombie, only to get her brains eaten out through her ear. (And no, that wouldn’t be me… I know better!!)

But that’s also not what I want to talk about. Well yeah… I actually do… just not today.

Yesterday I was reading someone’s post, (I can’t for the life of me remember who’s it was) where she talked about the way people come across to others. She mentioned that there are some people that she knows in real life that come across completely different on their blogs. It got me thinking about how I never have really put the magnifying glass that I use so often on others, on myself.

How do other people see me? Do I act different when I’m around different types of people? Am I predictable? Do I come across different on my blog than I am in real life?

It’s a pretty hard game to play even when your player is yourself…. But after much thought, I’m pretty sure I come across mostly the same to all my friends and family.

Anyone who knows me well would likely tell you the following: I like to be the center of attention. I’m a little random, but in predictable ways. I’m confident yet have insecurities that I don’t keep hidden, though I may try. I am loud, and become even a thousand times more so when I’m drinking. I like to drink.  I don’t like other people to be uncomfortable. Whenever I’m in an uncomfortable situation, I usually just start telling awkward stories until everyone just feels uncomfortable for me, and not themselves. I cry at the drop of a hat and I laugh at the most inappropriate times. I obsess and analyze every situation to whoever might be around to listen. I’m a nervous wreck about 3/4 of my life… and as much as I try to act “breezy,” I don’t do a very good job at hiding it.

I’d like to think  I come across as the same person my readers that don’t know me in real life as I do to my friends… But I dunno, you tell me?

There is, however; one place in my life where I know I act completely different.

Work.

I never really thought about it until now, but I really don’t act like myself  in my office. It’s weird. I open up to nearly everyone I meet, but I have never been able to really do so there. I started thinking about what my co-workers might deduce about me by my actions….

*I never put on make up or fix my hair for work. (Unless I have somewhere to go after work, and even then I usually do my hair/makeup in the bathroom after work.)

*Even worse, my clothes are usually stained, backwards, inside out,  wrinkled or unzipped.. and I often have pen marks on my face.

*I have busted at least 2 pens in my mouth in the last 6 months, because I can’t go 2 minutes without chewing on plastic.

*I got caught the other day holding my arm straight up in the air. I tried to explain that I like the way it feels when it falls asleep, but that didn’t go over so well.

*I usually keep my ipod buds hidden behind my hair, so every once in a while I bust out in spontaneous song.

*I spend a lot of my time standing up working on mailing machines, (still with the ear buds in my ear) so I sometimes break out in spontaneous dance as well.

*No one there knows that I like to do comedy or that I blog, so when they find little scraps of paper with random thoughts on them like “How do work people see me?” or “I might be a crazy snail lady” they get a little confused. I try to play it off with “I was writing a song” which just makes me sound weirder….

*A co-worker once found a file folder with a wine bottle drawn on it. Yeah I drew it. You know what was on my mind.

*Sometimes I’ll watch myself talk in the little mirror I keep on my desk. And make very dramatic expressions.

*I also sometimes talk to customers in accents.

*When I get nervous I smell my hair. This means that whenever my bosses call me into their office to talk about something, I usually have my hair wrapped around my face so that it looks like I have a moustache.

*I write all of my posts at home, but while I’m babysitting the machines I often read blog posts on a shrunk down tiny little screen. This usually causes me to get really close to my computer screen. I have been told several times that I probably need stronger glasses.

*I have had to use a co-worker’s AAA card 4 times since I’ve worked there. All 4 times were because I locked my keys in my car.

So yeahhhhhh… Now that I really think about it, my coworkers probably think that I am a messy, dirty, forgetful, alcoholic, random, awkward, dramatic, loud weirdo.

Which is pretty much how I am in every other aspect of my life.

Agreed?

Maybe my “work me” isn’t so different afterall.

How do you think people perceive you???

I know that sounded like I am about to announce something huge.  Well I’m not. Unless you are interested in the fact that my forehead and my chin have simultaneously decided to rage war on my confidence in the form of pimples. Awesome. I look like I’m 11 and back in my awkward stage.

The reason this post is so difficult is because I literally drank enough this weekend to satisfy an entire army of thirsty pirates (there was probably a better way to put that) and I’m pretty sure I lost about a third of my brain cells. I’m really hoping those will grow back because I’m having a difficult time forming complete sentences.  I mean… I looked at a thingy for about ten minutes and I still don’t know what to call it. I did have a super fun weekend, full of lots of dancing and debauchery and laughs… and I’m sure I did more than I few things that I should be regretting, but luckily cannot remember them.

Anybooze, I am writing this on Monday night after completely avoiding all of you today. Seriously. This is the first weekday in about three months that I haven’t spent at least a few hours reading blogs. Me thinks I’ve got a lot of catching up to do.

Since I was completely brain dead this morning and finally decided not to write about how awkward it would be to be a fly on the wall in a room witnessing dry humping (a very strange conversation I got into this weekend), I decided not to post today (now yesterday.) Instead I chose to ignore the blog world entirely and to spend the day reading the other parts of the internet that I have been ignoring the last 3 months. This meant hours upon hours of catching up on youtube subscriptions, watching trailers on IMDB , and reading every article featured  on popurls. And since I’m still semi-stupid, I figure I will share with you some of the highlights…

Someone posted the following video on twitter, and although I cannot remember who it was- I want to give them a big giant hug right now. I seriously watched this at least 18 times today and I have almost completely memorized the dance. Umm… how awesome are those facial expressions?

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Another highlight is from one of my favorite internet sensations, Brental Floss who is someone I kind of actually know in person. Or… I at least met him once. He is best friends with one of my comedy friends ( Holla what MV!!!!) , and back when we were doing a radio show he came on and totally punked me on air. He is one of the funniest people ever, and is all kinds of musically talented. If you have even a tiny bit of love for video games, or music, or comedy… or even if you don’t- you definitely need to check him out. I had a lot of catching up to do, but my favorite (because Zelda holds a giant place in my heart) is part of his “With Lyrics” series, Zelda With Lyrics…

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Oh and here is another one about Toad being gay. I just showed my roommates and even they loved it.

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And while we’re on the subject, I cannot wait to see Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor’s new gay movie- “I love you Phillip Morris.”

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And holy shit. Toby Maguire, Natalie Portman, and Jake Gyllenhall??? I starting bawling just watching this intense preview!

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I can’t believe that I somehow let a few Jon Lajoie videos go posted without my taking notice. And by the by, if you haven’t watched The League (that show that comes on after It’s Always Sunny In Philadelhia,) featuring Jon, then you definitely need to check it out!

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I had a few more links that I wanted to share, but it seems the ambien God’s have taken flight and this post could start to get really ridiculous. Plus I really need the sleep. I promise at some point this week I will get back to being completely blog devoted… Until then, thanks for putting up with my flakiness.