Take my best friend for an example.  One would think that I would know everything about her after being best friends for nearly 10 years.  She is more like a sister than anything. We finish each others sentences, know when each other are lying (which isn’t rocket-science with me), and I’m pretty sure we can read each others minds, though we haven’t really tested it in a controlled environment just yet. But the other day over some beers and salsa we were playing a game of “would you rather,” and I asked her if she’d rather date Batman, Superman, or Spiderman.

I totally pegged her as a Superman type o’ gal, because she totally digs those pretty boy types, but she threw me for quite a whirl and said she’d pick Batman. What? I know. I think Batman seems like kind of a bore. He’s all holed up in that mansion with nobody except for some old dude to keep him company. And he doesn’t even have any real powers. I’m a Spiderman girl myself. I’ve only seen one and a half of the movies, but he seems kinda nerdy…  I can dig that.

But that’s not what I wanted to talk about.

I spend all this time trying to figure people out. I create scenarios in my head, imagining how people would react in certain situations. When I’m in a room with a group of people, I sometimes like to pretend  that the zombie apocalypse has just started. Who will die first? Who will totally kick zombie ass? Who will be the sucker that makes out with her boyfriend who has become a zombie, only to get her brains eaten out through her ear. (And no, that wouldn’t be me… I know better!!)

But that’s also not what I want to talk about. Well yeah… I actually do… just not today.

Yesterday I was reading someone’s post, (I can’t for the life of me remember who’s it was) where she talked about the way people come across to others. She mentioned that there are some people that she knows in real life that come across completely different on their blogs. It got me thinking about how I never have really put the magnifying glass that I use so often on others, on myself.

How do other people see me? Do I act different when I’m around different types of people? Am I predictable? Do I come across different on my blog than I am in real life?

It’s a pretty hard game to play even when your player is yourself…. But after much thought, I’m pretty sure I come across mostly the same to all my friends and family.

Anyone who knows me well would likely tell you the following: I like to be the center of attention. I’m a little random, but in predictable ways. I’m confident yet have insecurities that I don’t keep hidden, though I may try. I am loud, and become even a thousand times more so when I’m drinking. I like to drink.  I don’t like other people to be uncomfortable. Whenever I’m in an uncomfortable situation, I usually just start telling awkward stories until everyone just feels uncomfortable for me, and not themselves. I cry at the drop of a hat and I laugh at the most inappropriate times. I obsess and analyze every situation to whoever might be around to listen. I’m a nervous wreck about 3/4 of my life… and as much as I try to act “breezy,” I don’t do a very good job at hiding it.

I’d like to think  I come across as the same person my readers that don’t know me in real life as I do to my friends… But I dunno, you tell me?

There is, however; one place in my life where I know I act completely different.

Work.

I never really thought about it until now, but I really don’t act like myself  in my office. It’s weird. I open up to nearly everyone I meet, but I have never been able to really do so there. I started thinking about what my co-workers might deduce about me by my actions….

*I never put on make up or fix my hair for work. (Unless I have somewhere to go after work, and even then I usually do my hair/makeup in the bathroom after work.)

*Even worse, my clothes are usually stained, backwards, inside out,  wrinkled or unzipped.. and I often have pen marks on my face.

*I have busted at least 2 pens in my mouth in the last 6 months, because I can’t go 2 minutes without chewing on plastic.

*I got caught the other day holding my arm straight up in the air. I tried to explain that I like the way it feels when it falls asleep, but that didn’t go over so well.

*I usually keep my ipod buds hidden behind my hair, so every once in a while I bust out in spontaneous song.

*I spend a lot of my time standing up working on mailing machines, (still with the ear buds in my ear) so I sometimes break out in spontaneous dance as well.

*No one there knows that I like to do comedy or that I blog, so when they find little scraps of paper with random thoughts on them like “How do work people see me?” or “I might be a crazy snail lady” they get a little confused. I try to play it off with “I was writing a song” which just makes me sound weirder….

*A co-worker once found a file folder with a wine bottle drawn on it. Yeah I drew it. You know what was on my mind.

*Sometimes I’ll watch myself talk in the little mirror I keep on my desk. And make very dramatic expressions.

*I also sometimes talk to customers in accents.

*When I get nervous I smell my hair. This means that whenever my bosses call me into their office to talk about something, I usually have my hair wrapped around my face so that it looks like I have a moustache.

*I write all of my posts at home, but while I’m babysitting the machines I often read blog posts on a shrunk down tiny little screen. This usually causes me to get really close to my computer screen. I have been told several times that I probably need stronger glasses.

*I have had to use a co-worker’s AAA card 4 times since I’ve worked there. All 4 times were because I locked my keys in my car.

So yeahhhhhh… Now that I really think about it, my coworkers probably think that I am a messy, dirty, forgetful, alcoholic, random, awkward, dramatic, loud weirdo.

Which is pretty much how I am in every other aspect of my life.

Agreed?

Maybe my “work me” isn’t so different afterall.

How do you think people perceive you???

Anyway, back to you… I am hoping I will eventually catch up to all 900 or so unread posts on my reader… but I’m thinking it may take a while.

This weekend was kind of insane. On Saturday I got to catch up with a bunch of my college sorority friends at a baby shower.  (Love you Lydia and little Oliver who will be born sometime in the next 10 days) I’m usually terrified of situations that have anything to do with babies… mostly because babies scare the hell out of me. But besides the slight panic attack that I had in Babies R Us whilst trying to get someone to help me figure out what a Diaper depot was and where in this freak house of miniature things it might be found, I had a pretty rockin time.

I got all Martha Stewart on your asses and even made cream cheese tortilla rolls for the second event this month. I completely forgot to add salsa, which is apparently a major ingredient, but no one  said anything if they noticed.

I think the most shocking moment for everyone was probably when I held one of my friend’s babies. I did have to sit down first in the style of a 10 year old… but it wasn’t even such a terrifying experience. I actually really liked holding her. I had to admit  that babies are kind of cute and soft and I kind of started wanting to eat her up… or at least pet her obsessively. That came out a lot creepier than I meant it. What I’m trying to say is that- while I still don’t have baby fever in any way shape or form, maybe I shouldn’t be so scared of hanging out with my mommy friends a little more often.

We also drank a whole lot of champagne. I haven’t been to many baby showers, but I am quickly finding out that they even though the preggers guest of honor can’t drink, it’s perfectly appropriate for everyone else to. Afterward, a few of us hit the streets of our college town, and basically didn’t stop until around 10:30 on Sunday night. We gave Sunday Funday a whole new meaning, which basically led to a pretty miserable Monday. Except for one part…

Yeah I know what you’re thinking, because I was thinking it to.

With all these Oscar-worthy movies coming out in the last week or so, why would I go see Roland Emmerich prove to the world that his dick is smaller than Michael Bay’s?

For one, I had to get at least one more popcorn-blockbuster-type movie in before I start spending most of my free time in the Angelika, watching foreign and arthouse-ish type films through January.

Also, I actually like really really like end-of -the-the-world-shit-blowing-up-disaster type films. Who doesn’t? If you say you didn’t like Independence Day, I’m so calling bullshit. And not just because Bill Pullman pretty much made the sexiest-voiced president ever in a film. These type of movies do exactly what they set out to do, and that is to entertain and get you excited. Yeah yeah yeah, I admit that it was essentially one near death experience after another, but it definitely kept me on my toes. I spontaneously decided to forgo the gym and go see it by myself after work, but if someone would have been with me I probably would have spent the second half of the movie punching them in the arm.

I was planning on writing a full-on movie review, but I knew what that would turn into…

A post about nothing except for my love for John Cusack, and that can get old really fast. Just ask anyone that knows me in real life.

But seriously. I love the man… skewed political opinions and all. I don’t know what it is about this guy, but just seeing him on the screen makes me all giddy and butterflies in the stomach and all that nonsense that the thirteen year old me felt when opening up a Tiger Beat magazine that featured a pin up of Brad Renfro.

In complete honesty, I would probably love any movie that this man was in, (with the exception of The Contract, because that movie just sucked balls) and I completely blame John Cusack for the fact that I have spent the better part of my life single. How can a girl settle down with someone unless he shows up at your window with a boom-box and professes his love to through the musical stylings of Peter Gabriel? I’m still waiting!

And the thing that gets me the most about him is that he’s just so damn average. He’s good looking in a “guy that you see in your local grocery store” sort of way…  He usually plays these average down and out cynical characters, that are passionate about books and movies and music… but the dude always wins… and you really want him to.

2012 is no exception. I would much rather see the John Cusack continuously narrowly escape being blasted by fire balls and falling into the earth than Brad Pitt or George Clooney. You know they’ll escape. I would rather watch John Cusack do anything on the screen. Speaking of my favorite award night of the year, how has this man never been nominated?

See what I’ve done here? And I must stop. Mostly because I may need to change my panties.

Don’t be surprised if the next time you come here there is John Cusack wallpaper on my background. I will go there.

But until then… I’ve missed you and go see 2012!!! Now!