Wowsa. When did life get so cray cray? Ohhh it seems about 2 months ago, and it just keeps getting faster and harder to keep up with.

This wekeend was one of my BFF’s graduation from GRAD SCHOOL! Yes, I have some smart mofo’s in my life. I was really bummed that I didn’t make it to meet up with a bunch of local bloggers, but when it was all said and done I just booked too much for one day. Plus after grad-party numero dos, it would have been detrimental to put me out on the streets, or even around people who don’t know me and love me unconditionally.

And luckily my friends love me lots. Although I’m pretty sure LA didn’t want to be my friend for about 5 minutes when I told a group of strangers about how she once performed an enema on me. We heard later that it started a very in debth conversation between a group of girls, and I’m always glad to be a conversation starter (or ender) so I don’t feel so bad. Plus I always let LA tell lots of stories at my expense, so all was equal in the world. Or something like that.

So we spent the majority of the weekend in Denton, and it’s always a blast to go back. Plus, (even though I missed the busting of it) she had a pinata with mini-tequilas and shot glasses in it. Have you ever heard of such a thing?! Have you ever heard of a more genius idea??? After the party we made our rounds to all the local bars, and I have to tell you, I did something that I feel very, very, VERY embarrassed about. Which, I can’t believe that after telling strangers about my enema that I had the ability to be embarrassed by anything.

The first person that I saw, and recognized when I walked in was one of my favorite movie bloggers. No big deal, right? No. I made a very big deal about it. I pretty much cornered him and oogled him and I probably would have told him my ten top favorite movies if he would have let me. But alas, I think he was very scared, and rightly so. At some point after I proclaimed my fandom, I took a nap in the car, and somehow woke up alive in the morning, although I am still missing a bit of my dignity, about 200 dollars, and about half of the items in my purse.

Speaking of graduations, my little sister  is graduating from college next weekend. I can’t believe it. My little sister is all growed up and she is so smart and I’m so proud I want to squeeze her until it hurts. Not only is she graduating, but she is getting a DOUBLE MAJOR in BIOLOGY AND PSYCHOLOGY! Seriously!? Even in my smartest days when I used to take adderol I couldn’t even get through a biology class, much less a whole bunch of them. Although I have to say that her love for bugs has really rubbed off on me.

 A couple of years ago my sister and I went on a bug collecting expedition which was one of my favorite times ever. We spent the day at my farm collecting all sorts of weird bugs and soaked them in alcohol and put them up on a styrophome board with pins. It sounds all sorts of nerdy but it was actually really cool, until I woke up in the middle of the night to see that this gigantic huge moth that was supposed to be dead was flapping it wings like a madman with a needle through it’s heart. I screamed bloody murder and spent the next week feeling sure that I had caused  some sort of mothman prophecy and that I was going going to go crazy and start drawing weird pictures and then, you know, die.

Oh I got way off topic there… Back to my sister. She definitely got the smarts out of the family, and she is making all of the men in the family proud by following their lead and getting her degree in something science related.

Did I ever tell you I come from a long line of scientists?

My grandad is a chemist and is one of the guys credited for inventing kiss-proof lip stick, and that is just one of the reasons why he is amazing.

Then you have my dad, the geologist. Besides giving him a free pass to wear tye-died t-shirts and cut-offs to any public event, it also means that I had the most awesome rock collection of any girl on the block. Also? I had really good stuff to sell. Other kids on the block were selling lemonade and homemade brownies from cardboard tables on street corners, but I walked around the neighborhood with a radio flyer full of hand painted rocks, and actually made about 4 bucks total in three years.

I’ve been thinking of taking it up again to make some supplental income.

The only downfall to the fact that I was brought up as a rock-lover is that now I have to lick them all the time. I know it sounds weird, but it’s something I have to try really hard to resist.  I think it’s because my dad used to quiz me on my rock collection, and the easiest one to guess Halite because it tasted like salt. Now I have the urge to see what other rocks taste like, and mostly so far they just taste like dirt. But one day when I find some rock that tastes like ketchup or cheese cake that no one has ever thought to taste, and I’l be famous and all of you will also want to taste my rock.  

This weekend also made me recall my college graduation, which was what I set out to blog about but seeing as how I have already novelled this post,I think I’ll save that for another time… So stay tuned!

Also congrats to my friend Julie for grad-yee-ating last week. You make me proud!

Oh and.. I still love John Cusack. ( I’m losing steam on the google searches so I thought I’d throw that in there)

Well recently my aunt (whom I love dearly) has posted a few pictures on my Facebook page, which you may have already seen if you’re my facebook friend. If you’re not, feel free to add me now…

These old pics got me thinking thinking that maybe I should take you through a little hot tub time machine of my life… the good, the bad, and the completely awkward. So ummm let’s all get naked and go for a ride, shall we?

I don’t really understand the concept of baby time, so I have no idea how old I was here… but I’m going to go with baby. Maybe even newborn. I do know I was born with hair… so possibly?

Here I must have been a little bit older. Still have no concept of age, but it looks like maybe I was taking a first step or attempting it? No clue. Still, I don’t look so happy to be wearing a weird jumper thingie.

I guess I should count my blessings none of my baby-pics were taken with me in an eyepatch….

What appears to be shy and innocent, is in fact -never shy and innocent.

Ugh. Yeah.. I was a girlscout. Or “Brownie” or whatever we called them. Those cheeks are evident of the fact that I ate a lot of cookies…

Check out those Keds. And also that feather.

I wan’t homeless… this was just an “Annie” costume.

Things only got more awkward from this point… If you look closely, I needed to pluck my eyebrows at the ripe ole age of 7. Awesome.

(5th Grade) No wonder I didn’t have any friends… EEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK What was I wearing mom? What was with that hair?

Ok… this was probably 7th grade. With the exception of the overalls…  I think I had a bit of an improvement.

I don’t have any pics to share with you at this time of me in between the ages of Jr High and Sr Year… but just imagine an awkward girl wearing either Umbros, Long Pepe shorts, or vintage clothes that had no business appearing in the mid-nineties, and you should get the picture.

The classic graduation pic. I can’t believe my 10 yr reunion is this summer. What in the hell?

So yeah. Thanks for viewing my lame post. I have shied away from posting old pics mostly because they’re awkward and yucky and I hate the and I think you probably don’t care… But I figured they were at my disposal, so why not?

And on a very similar subject, some of my bestest buddies, my old roommates whom (who?) (at this hour I don’t care) I miss  dearly just started a website, Relive the 90′s.com but it doesn’t seem to be working at this moment. So what you need to do is follow them on their twitter here.. and when the site becomes available, submit your favorite pic/memory/toy/movie WHATEVER you love and find near and dear… It was up and running earlier today, so hopefully it will be by now!

Happy Wednesday people!

Make sure you check out Lilu’s site, and check out her TMI Thursday archives for all sorts of hilarity!

Remember how a few weeks ago I told you that my friend Moops has been wanting to start a blog? Well he’s been working on it. He’s even written a few posts, but nothing is live yet- and he’s not sure he wants me to reveal him to the world just yet. However, I did convince him to write a guest TMI post for me since my life has just gotten absolutely crazy the last few weeks. Maybe after reading his awesomeness you can help me convince him that he needs to go public!!!

And without further adieu, I present to you: Moops…

I am about to share a most pathetic tale of over indulgence; this story goes down as one of the worst nights of drinking I have ever had!  Wait a minute, who am I kidding?  I have a resume full of bad nights…with references.

Let me preface the detail of this story with the fact that I am not a delinquent, I have a good job, I contribute to society every now and then, and all in all I’m a pretty decent individual; I just get really drunk from time to time.  I’m about to be 30; I feel that I am fast approaching (or have long past) that threshold where getting boozed up and stripping down to my boxers can be considered acceptable if not slightly amusing behavior (not that that sort of conduct is ever acceptable). In my opinion, drunken behavior is on sort of a sliding scale. For example, when you’re in college, you can get naked and jump on a pogo stick in the front yard and it’s cool; but as age increases, even the slightest drunken mishap can be highly inappropriate and or embarrassing, and for me- this seems to happen at an exponential rate.

And so the story goes.  Halloween 2009.  At the time I was dating a girl who’s birthday was at the end of October. It so happened that her roommate’s birthday fell right around the same time, so they decided to throw a sort of joint birthday/Halloween party.

The night went like this- keg beer, lots of keg beer, my consumption could probably have been measured in gallons; this was supplemented with a cornucopia of shots, you name it I drank it; and then there were the few games of flip cup I participated in. PERFECT, I was ready to go, nothing could stop me, time to hit the bars.

Bar # 1 – I was now at the level of intoxication where I think I am inherently wealthy and feel the need to buy a round of shots for everyone within a 10′ radius of me. I remember the first shot, rupplemintz – GREAT IDEA!

I don’t remember much of the bar scene after that initial round; but from some forensic investigating I conducted in the days that followed, mainly examining my three separate tabs (all different cards,) subsequent bars were visited and many shots consumed.

Fast Forward – A couple of hours later we were back at the house for the after party – yeah, this thing doesn’t stop.  I start emerging from my self induced anesthesia, good, I made it back in one piece, I even somehow managed to make it to the couch and lie down, WAY TO GO!  But wait a minute, it seems that the copious amounts of alcohol I had consumed over the last 12 hours combined with my horizontal position on the couch was making me a little nauseous, make that a lot nauseous, yep I was about to puke.  My body seemed to be paralyzed, so there I was, on this girls nice white couch vomiting a vile substance while a host of characters looked on. Some watched in amusement but most watched in horror (when I say characters I literally mean characters…it was Halloween).  29 years old, and I just puked on myself, just wait it gets better.  I was then thoroughly scolded and clumsily escorted upstairs and thrown into my girlfriend’s bed.

I did attempt one more trip downstairs for an alcohol fueled spirited conversation with my girlfriend, not sure what prompted this one.  There was one eyewitness account that I actually fell up the stairs (vs. down the stairs), pretty impressive.

My first lucid moments the next morning were a bit of a sensory overload; my head was pounding, my mouth was completely dry, my contacts were shriveled up like little raisins in my eyes, my body was totally void of any hydration and my pants were wet, OH SHIT!  MY PANTS…I PISSED THE BED!!!!!!!  At this point I quickly gathered my things, walk downstairs past all of the girls sleeping on a pallet and left, didn’t say a word to anyone.  AWESOME night!  Not only did I puke in front of everyone, but I pissed the bed too, definite high point!  It’s on my way home, with quite possibly the worst moral hangover ever, that I pulled my phone out and tried to make a call; it wouldn’t turn on, great.  You see, my phone was in my pocket when I passed out, it was around the pocket region of my pants that there was the highest concentration of urine; hence my phone not working.  I think I am the only person who has ever pissed on their own phone rendering it useless.

A side note:  Two days prior to the incident I had moved into a new apartment by myself, literally all I had was a bed (I do have furniture now – FYI), so not only did I not have any furniture or cable- but now I didn’t have a functioning phone either. Hungover- this is particularly  lonely and depressing state to be in.  I was forced to go to the Fiesta grocery store down the street to use the pay phone.

My blog is entirely too easy to find.

For the most part, it doesn’t really bother me. I talk about it openly and even keep a link to it on my Facebook, one click away from virtually everyone who knows me. (I feel like “virtually” may have been a poor word choice, as I am talking about the people who know me personally, not just virtually…if that makes sense.) I have convinced myself that my family and anyone who has ever known me on a professional level are either way too busy to read my little ole’ site, or they just don’t care.

If you read this  and you know me in real life, you probably know that, even in person I am  extremely candid and am not afraid of sharing personal information when provoked, or even when I’m not.

And if you do know me and I get on your nerves, make you uncomfortable,  you think I’m too crass, or you think I drink too much, then you probably don’t enjoy reading my blog and therefore do not come here except to make fun of my life. If that is the case,  the pleasure is all mine because I live to be laughed at.

So basically what I’m trying to say is that I really hope y’all enjoy what you read and keep coming back for more, but if you don’t- then please do not tell me so because I like to believe everyone likes me.

Never mind.

However, I’ve recently realized there are a few instances where I believe that my beloved blog may be a teensy weensy bit of a problem.

The first thing I worry about is my career.

I purposely do not write about my work.  I’m mostly happy in what I do, but you never know when you’ll end up back on unemployment and needing to look for a job. If that happens, I’m not too excited about potential employees googling my email and finding this site. But I suppose I won’t worry about that until it happens.

The other instance in which I have found that my blog has been a little bit of a hinder, is in meeting new people, face to face.

While I may share way too much information with you about my own personal issues, I choose never to talk about my private relationships, more specifically- dating. This is mostly because that part of my life is incredibly boring and mostly inactive, but also I feel some things should be kept private.

Similarly, I’m not so sure how I feel about the fact that guys that I meet who have the potential for dating, are able to easily read about my idiosyncrasies, or about the time I took out a tampon whilst driving. I don’t want an anonymous blog and I like for my friends to be able to easily read, but I’m a little torn on this matter.

I guess this is something I’ll have to figure out for myself, but let me know if you have any advice.

In other news, I’m trying an experiment this week that may take me away from the computer a bit. Over the last few months I’ve noticed that I have been drinking a little more during the week than I feel is appropriate. Oh no, don’t go saying “I told you so, you have a problem.” This is not the case.

My problem is not of the drinking variety, so much as it is of the sleeping variety. A few hours before I go to sleep, I start to get extremely anxious- and come to the conclusion that I’ll probably never be able to fall asleep until 4 in the morning, I will miss work or be late, and then I’ll end up jobless and living on the streets feigning a crack addiction so I can get welfare. So as to avoid this scenario, I have taken to having a cocktail or a few glasses of wine before bed.

While it does help me to sleep, I don’t want to be one of those people who drinks every single night. I drink on weekends because I enjoy it, not because I need it to have a good time. I don’t particularly enjoy feeling the need to rely on alcohol for anything. And this is why I’m taking a break this week.

I know it’s really not that big of a deal, I’m only going until Halloween… but until then- not a single drop. I would really like to prove to myself that I can sleep like normal people. In order to achieve this goal, (as well as to fit into my Halloween skirt) I am also upping the gym time this week ten-fold. So bear with me if I’m a little grouchy and tired. Working out and not drinking can do that to a girl.

I will leave you today with a little gem from my email archives. A few months ago, one of my guy friends had a misunderstanding with his girlfriend. After many drinks, my friend left the following message on another one of my guy friend’s voice mail. Guy friend #2 then transcribed the message, for my- and now your, enjoyment.

“Fuck you not answering my call, I think you just fucking denied me.  I just wanted to talk about how girls are fuckin…….well they’re just fucking, i don’t know.  They’re just big fuckin vagina’s, i guess they do have vagina’s, but i like vagina’s.  But they’re just big fuckin bitches, a bitch bag, a big bag of douche.  I fuckin hate em, i’m just going to be asexual and jack myself off for the rest of my life.  I’d be a lot happier.  Hope your having fun…..Later”

Happy Monday everyone!

Make sure you check back to Lilu’s Archives… You will laugh your ass off!

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*Some people have more shame than I do, so in an effort to preserve a friendship- I thought my friend might enjoy the retelling of this story in the form of poetry… Because really, this was a very poetic moment in both of our lives, I’m sure. I have already gotten in trouble for telling this story before, but it’s just too frickin funny not to share!

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The Legend of the Log

Here doth lie a legend
that has spread far and wide
About a very dear friend of mine
and what came out from their behind.

It was long ago in college
And I will not share my friend’s name.
I’m hoping the fact I’m attempting to rhyme-
Will lighten their level of shame.

I had just moved in to a new place
With 3 girls I did not know-
My friend had eaten a lot of cheese
And finally had to… “go” go.

After a few minutes in private
I hear my friend’s loud cry
For what was laid was way too big,
And the water was rising high.

I usually wouldn’t have cared so much
But I’d only been there one night.
If my new roommates thought I broke the commode,
We’d probably never be tight!

So I went in the room to help my friend
to devise a little plan-
I looked to see what they did lay
and wandered how in the hell did THAT fit in the can.

I didn’t own a plunger,
and I couldn’t find a net…
Neither of us would touch it-
We couldn’t live with that regret

You may not already know this-
buy I’m actually quite smart
I knew the only solution
What to slice that turd apart.

I went into the kitchen
and found a plastic knife,
I also grabbed a plastic fork
Just to be polite.

I know not why the job was mine
but I did what I had to do
Using that fine cutlery
I began to poke that poo.

I literally “cut the crap” my friend,
I sliced up that big load
I did all this to save the day
and flush down the commode.

Ok people! I apologize for my lack of poetic ability! Have a great day!

Not only is it Friday, but I get to leave work at noon today to head to Austin. The only thing that could make this better would be if it were  a payday Friday, and if I didn’t have to drive 4 and a half hours just  to get to Austin.

There is one other thing that’s kind of been bothering me today.

(I almost told this as this week’s TMI story, but realized it was more of a FML tale. So, at least for today- consider it FML Friday.)

I was in the restroom at my house last night, doing my business, when I noticed that my feet were wet. Wet feet in the bathroom are never OK, unless someone has recently exited the shower. (We all know that guy who doesn’t pay attention care where his pee might fall.)

After I had successfully finished my business, I dried off my feet, and bent down to get a closer look at the floor.

Oh. No. The water was coming out from the bottom of the toilet.

I have seen this before, and the outcome is never good. And believe me, I know. I’m the queen of toilet incidents.

The first time I saw water leaking from my toilet, I was a junior in college. I shared an apartment with two other girls, and we were all at the peak of being college alcoholics. I had noticed for a while that our toilet had a little wiggle to it. Every time you sat down you could feel the base rocking, just a little bit. Just like in my current bathroom, a little bit of water would escape from the bottom whenever we flushed. I can only assume that it was damaged by a combination of our drunkeness, and our asses.  Because when you’re a drunk- you have a tendency of just “plopping” down on the toilet with no abandon.

We have to remember that toilets are practically just made out of thick  glass. You have take care of them. You can’t just put anything down them. And you definitely can’t throw all  100 -and- something lbs of yourself down backwards onto the seat of the toilet in a drunken stupor.

Which is exactly what I did.

We had at least ten people over at the time, (because you never do stupid drunk things when you get dropped off at home by yourself) and to be honest, I was really way too gone to remember all the horrible details. All I know is that at some point during the night, I stumbled into the bathroom. I’m not sure if I was actually trying to sit down, or if I slipped on the bath rug and fell into the toilet- but either way it happened.

My fat ass broke the toilet at the base.

Like I said, I don’t remember details- but the way I’ve heard it, (and believe me- I’ve heard all sorts of versions of this story) I ran through a living room full of people  with my pants down around my ankles, ran into my room, dove head first onto my bed, missed, and landed on the floor with my bare ass facing a room full of very confused people.

Next thing they knew, water was gushing into the living room. I don’t know what happened next, but from what I hear- I cried in my bedroom while all of my wonderful friends cleaned the mess. I do know that the carpet had to be replaced and there were giant fans airing the place out for about a week.

That could be a funny story to look back on and laugh about later.

Except…

A couple years later I moved to a new city for work and I was living alone.  I didn’t have many friends  yet, except for a group of very fun, very loud gay boys (who I love to pieces.) One night, after about 6 Mi Cocina Mambo Taxis- we went back to my one room loft apartment, mostly because I didn’t care if people smoked inside.  I guess I should mention that my toilet at this apartment also had a shaky base.***

We were all extremely toasted and playing game of Cranium. I had to pee very badly, but wanted to hurry so I didn’t miss anything. I ran to the bathroom, and attempted to pull down my pants on the way there to save time. As I approached the toilet, I slipped backwards.

And Yes.

I fucking broke the second toilet of my life.

This time I cried in the closet while the gays, very thoroughly, cleaned up the flooding bathroom.

So now you know why a little leak at the bottom of the toilet can really freak a girl out.

We all know bad things happen in threes.

***ok, i admit it. the second incident didn’t involve a shaky base. it was a brand new toilet, in a brand new apartment. my fatass simply broke it. i have no excuse.

F.M.L.

I’ll  leave you with a little more FML this lovely Friday, because you know how I can completely understand body hair issues…And also GloZell is hilarious!

Happy Friday yall!

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I will also admit that I really wanted to see Sandra Bullock’s latest, “All About Steve,” but seeing that it only received a .05% fresh on Rottentomatoes, I may have to wait until it comes out on DVD. As of late, I rarely deem these romantic “Mc-movies” worthy enough of a re-watch, and only a select few are enjoyable enough for me to actually purchase. However; every once in a while, I’ll see a romantic girly movie that really gets to me for some reason, and makes it on to my “watch and re-watch with my girlfriends, and every time it is on cable tv list.” Most of these are films that I loved in Junior High and High school, and they have somehow continued to be favorites of mine. I think it’s because when I watch them, I remember what it was like to watch romance movies before I was jaded and cynical about relationships. I kind of miss that. I figure I’ll take this time to share my favorites with you. Please note that I am not claiming any of these to be “good” films, just ones that I enjoy.

10. A Philadelphia Story- (Directed by George Cukor. Starring: Cary Grant, Katharine Hepburn, James Stewart.)This 1940 classic starring Jimmy Stewart, Cary Grant and Katharine Hepburn is one of the only classics that will be making my list, mostly because by the time I was old enough to start appreciating classic movies- I had already gotten out of my rom-com phase. Plus, I think this film really embodies what a rom-com needs to be. Handsome men, a lot of laughs, and of course- you have to have that realistic  plot (what woman can’t relate to an impossibly rich beautiful woman who has to choose between 3 handsome, charming men who all treat her as if she’s the bees knees?)

9. One Fine Day- (Directed by someone not worth the time for me to look up. Starring: George Clooney, Michelle Pfieffer, that little girl from Independence day who grew up to be Ann on Arrested development) I know, it’s really a terrible film. I  have no excuse for the fact that I’m able to recite this movie from start to finish without even having it on, especially since the dialogue is so poorly written. It may help that this movie came out right smack in the middle of my being in love with George Clooney stage, which coincidentally is finally coming to an end. That and the plot is of the boy meets girl, boy hates girl, boy and girl end being perfect for each other- variety.  And did I mention I love George Clooney?

8. Reality bites-(Directed by Ben Stiller. Starring: Winona Ryder, Ethan Hawke, Jeneane Garafalo)  I think this film  may be a little to angsty to be considered a “chick-flick,” but I don’t care. It would probably end up on my list of favorite action films, that’s how much I love this movie. Plus if you really think about it, there is that super hot scene where Lelaina and Troy Dyer (I just love that name) finally get it on – that could be considered “action.” This was Ben Stiller’s feature directorial debut, and as much as I love pretty much everything he has done, I wish he would make more movies like Reality Bites. This film has some of the best dialogue (“This is all we need. A couple of smokes, a cup of coffee, and a little bit of conversation. You and me and five bucks,”) one of the best soundtracks ever (U2′s All I want is you, Squeeze’s Tempted by the Fruit of Another,) and of course, it stars Ethan Hawke. I realize at this point in my life that Troy Dyer is precisely the type of boy that I shouldn’t date, and I blame this movie for making me continuously fall for this type. I could go on for days about this film so I will just quit now.

7. Someone like you- (Directed by Tony Goldwyn. Starring: Ashley Judd, Hugh Jackman, Greg Kinnear) This is probably the worst movie on the list. I don’t even particularly love any of the characters, the plot is completely unoriginal, and I can’t even remember what it is even about. so I really can’t explain this film’s appeal. I think it could have something to do with the scene where Hugh Jackman is in his underwear, but it’s not only that… I give up. I don’t know. It’s just one of those movies that I watch when when I don’t want to have to think… and I’ve seen it about a thousand times now. Maybe I should take it off the list. Nope, I think I’ll leave it.

6. Say Anything-(Directed by Cameron Crowe. Starring: John Cusack, Ione Sky.) Every time I watch this movie, I can’t help but feel the way I felt the first time I “fell in love.” There is something so real about this movie, and the way the characters react to their first experience with romance that just gives me butterflies. This is the film that really put John Cusack on the map as the unlikely hero. Lloyd Dopler is so real, and there’s not really anything especially attractive about him- but jeez. I would do just about anything to have him show up under my window, Jukebox in hand, blasting “In Your Eyes” to let me know he loves me.

5. Serendipity-(Directed by Peter Chelsom. Starring: John Cusack, Kate Beckinsdale) Maybe you’re starting to notice I have a slight obsession with John Cusack. I really wanted to include High Fidelity on this list as well, but I just don’t think it really fits my standards as a chick-flick. Sooo, I digress. I love Serendipity. There is something to be said about the “fate” themed movies that really make a girl believe she has a chance at love in this world. This movie made me want to meet someone and fall in love, and then walk away from him just to see if it’s meant to be. It also makes me want to fly to NYC and have a delicious frozen hot chocolate at Serendipity…

4.Knotting Hill-(Directed by Roger Mitchell. Starring Julia Roberts, Hugh Grant.) I can’t believe this is the only Julia Roberts film on my list. I guess it’s because this movie fulfills that fantasy that every girl has about meeting your movie star idol and falling in love. Except in this movie, it’s the boy who meets his movie star idol… but since Hugh Grant is a little feminine (or maybe its just his English accent that makes him seem that way) we, the women, can relate. Plus, its really nice in a romantic comedy, to see a guy who is unabashedly chasing after the woman of his dreams.

3. Bridget Jone’s Diary-(Directed by Sharon McGuire. Starring: Collin Firth, Hugh Grant, Renee Zellweger.) Find me a girl who doesn’t include this movie in their top 10 favorite romance movies, and I will eat a booger. It had me in the first scene where she sat crying in her pjs, lip syncing to “All By Myself. ” I really have to give the credit to Helen Fielding, who’s novel of the same name started the chick-lit fad of novels about over weight girls, trying to find romance in an appearance obsessed world. But the movie really did do the novel justice. I do wish they wouldn’t have attempted a sequel.

2. When Harry Met Sally- (Directed by Rob Reiner. Starring: Meg Ryan, Billy Crystal.) I really consider this to be the King Queen of chick flicks. Any movie that can take a guy like Billy Crystal and make him into an attractive leading man, really does its job. It also set the standard for the theme of best friends falling in love in romantic comedies, only to be put to a test about 15 years later with My Best Friends Wedding. Until this movie’s release, I wonder if anyone had really pondered the idea that guys and girls really can never be “just friends.” Either way, it really did a number on me.

1. While You were sleeping- (Directed by Jon Turteltaub. Starring: Bill Pullman, Sandra Bullock.) This is probably my favorite go-to movie of all time. Don’t judge me. It’s another movie that I can recite from start to finish, and I’m a little proud of this fact. It may be far fetched that someone would go to such an extreme to gain the acceptance of the family of someone who they have only briefly met; but it works for me. I love the chemistry between Jack and Lucy, almost as much as I love Bill Pullman’s sexy voice. And what wouldn’t I do to have someone propose to me by dropping a ring through the train token window where I was working, when it was least expected.

There are at least 10 other films that I have been debating putting on the list, but I think I’ll eventually have to make a part deaux… I’ve already overdone myself in sappy thoughts for the day. I would love to hear your favorites, so feel free to comment!

Basically it is a tool that allows girls to stand while peeing. I know! How has this idea not taken off already?

I now feel a little weird admitting that I would like to pee whilst standing. Not every time or anything. Just in certain situations. Come on, you have to admit that you were curious… as a child at least.

I’m not lazy… not at all. But how awesome would it be on road trips, not to have to worry about the state of the public restroom? Or when you’re camping… you wouldn’t have to worry about falling back into your own puddle when your drunk squatting in the woods. Sounds awesome. I still don’t really understand the logistics of the product… but they describe it as a “silicone funnel design.”

I was kind of thinking it would be something more like a water hose with some kind of suction cup or something.

I read about this on freep.com, in case your interested. I would link to it but it adds an  advertisement on my page that is really annoying.

Speaking of, I know I have been adding quite a few poems, but I have one that directly relates to this – that I will be posting shortly- if you’re interested.

Even if you’re not from the area, you may know that Dallas is often nicknamed the home of the 30,ooo dollar millionaire- and this is not a joke. Being a single female in the area for the last, oh- ten or so years, I’ve kind of learned that the “trendy bar” spots are not the types of places where one should ever go to look for guys. Actually, if I listened to my parents at all- I should follow the rule that no bar is the place to meet guys, but really- in this day and age what other choice do we ladies have, except maybe…church.

The following pictures are only a sampling of what this place had to offer. I didn’t have much battery left in my camera, and  douchbags are like dogs (in more ways than one) and often don’t like to be photographed. But I think you can get the point of what this particular night had to offer. Maybe I’m not with the times, but when did straight guys start wearing more sparkles than girls? I just don’t get it…

this one needed a close up

this one tried to get away, but you get the point

Sooo.. in a nutshell, I think these boys would pull better game in a wolf t-shirt. But regardless it was a fun night! No thanks to those fools… or thanks to them because they provided a lot of laughter!

Which, if you’re in the least bit bored- you should check out the comments a proper wolf -shirt can generate. You will not fail to be entertained.

Happy Birthday Jodie! I hope you have a wonderful one! You’re the best!