I know… I’m so white I don’t even need a night light… (I don’t even know what that means)

I’m so white, I make Queen look like Queen Latifa…

I’m so white, I make Casper shit his pants…

Ok I’ll quit.

So here I am quickly approaching day two of my Stay-cation. Did I mention that I’m off this week? Cause, yeah- I most definitely am. Friday was my last day of work at my old job, and next Monday I start a new postition that is much, much closer to home.That being said, for the majority of this week my web-presence is most likely going to be non-existant. I’ll try my best to read as many blogs from my phone, but I probably won’t be able to comment much. I’ve got quite a few things to take care of, plus- I’m spending the majority of my time watching movies and writing up some reviews over at Red Carpet Crash. So check it people!

Lets dive right into these stickies, shall we? For more awesome sticky note greatness, make sure you check out Supah Mommy’s page!

While I’m so super pumped about my week off, one of these days I would truly like a week off, where I have absolutely no obligatgions. More than that, I cannot express to you just how great this Rocky Mountain jalapeno popcorn is. I wish I was famous and could get some sort of endorsement or like 8 years of free popcorn or something, but I’m not. But still.. it’s the shitsizzle.

A few weeks ago, my roommate LA discovered this stuff, and I can’t decide if it is my heaven or my hell. Either way, I’ve been eating an average of 300000000 kernels a day, and so far, I think it’s worth it.

Isn’t it weird how you won’t smell something for years, and then all of a sudden you get a whiff of something that brings a whole life-time of memories back to you? Usually this only happens when I get a whiff of cafeteria food, and I’m brought back to the days when we used to have competitions in my elementary school (and then later college) cafeterias, seeing how many foods we could mix together and then eat. The winner got the best item from someone’s lunch at the table. Today though, I found an old perfume oil at the bottom of one of my old purses. I put it on, and immediately was brought back to my life 3 years ago. It wasn’t the most happy time of my life, but I vividally recalled a few moments that I wouldn’t had otherwise. I’m not sure of what my point in sharing this was, other than- be careful what you smell.

I’ve gotten the opportunity of the lifetime the last few days at the Dallas International Film Festival. I’ve seen quite a few films, and none have managed to disapoint, which doesn’t make for the best fare when you’re out to write reviews. My favorite moment so far? Meeting Clint Howard. I know most of you probably think he’s an ugly sonofabitch… but you know, I’ve always had this weird unexplainable fascination with the dude. So meeting him was pretty much euphorical…

OH GAWD I LOVE ME SOME CHEST HAIR!

I can’t eve start to explain to you how excited I am to be a member of BRTWOA (Bike Riders to Work Of America). I just made it up, but really I’m pumped. How awesome not to have to waste precious money on asshole gas.  YAY!

I also can’t tell you how excited I am about my newest purchase. I have many projects on the way, some of which include my roommate LA, and others which have to do with my dare project. Speaking of, you should really submit a dare, even if you have already. I’m planning on getting many of these dare up and going in the near future, and I CAN”T WAIT. All you have to do is dare me, bitch. I dare you.

I know you probably thought my absence from the web had something to do with the ants eating at my brain, and if you did- you were partially right.YAY for you. But seriously, thanks for all your suggestions on how to do away with my pesky little problem, I’m on them all. Tonight, I try cucumbers. We’ll see how that goes. Keep your suggestions coming, because obviously my traps aren’t doing a damn thing…

I really do. All I want to do right now is have 1 million hours to read everyone’s posts. I feel so out of the loop. I heart you and I hope you remember me in my absense. And maybe I’ll get a chance to get around. Yeah, not like that…

I woke up today in the best mood that I can remember being in, in a really long time. I don’t know if it is because I actually got some sleep or maybe I’ve finally been hit with some Christmas cheer, but either way, I’m going to run with it! I had a great, relaxing weekend. I finally got my Christmas shopping DONE and I got to spend some quality time at the Cinema which really does wonders for my attitude. On Saturday night I went to a “Tacky Christmas Sweater” party which was also a blast. I really love any opportunity to dress up in tacky clothing.

Sunday morning I woke up and checked my purse for all of my belongings, just as I usually do as I am very prone to losing things, and I was extremely bummed to find that my camera was missing. I spent the majority of the morning playing Sherlock Holmes/the guys from the Hangover trying to figure out where it might be. Just as I had written it off as forever lost (like everything else I’ve ever owned,) my friend LA (who I had ridden with and then slept on her couch) called and said she found it… in her purse.

So now I’m pleased to announce a truly momentous land-mark in my life. This Thursday will mark the one year anniversary of my camera and I. The longest relationship that I have ever had with a piece of “technology.” This includes computers, phones, voice recorders, and ipods. I never thought we would last this long. Oh sure, there have been a few close calls. I’ve come close to losing camera more than a few times, and he’s had to endure a few hard drops… But alas, we have somehow made it through this long year together. I’d like to thank all of the people that we’ve shared memories with and who have helped to keep us together this year. I am blessed.

Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, moving on.

Move over John Cusack, there's a new man in town.

I didn’t have time to put up any proper reviews today, mostly because after I saw Avatar in 3D last night, I spent about four hours looking up pictures of Sam Worthington and updating my Blockbuster queue with every movie he has ever made. Most of them don’t look like they will be very good, but I’m not biased where hotties are concerned.

Hopefully I will eventually get a chance to write a review, but for now I will just say that I was really surprised at how much I loved this movie. I had been really skeptical ever since the first trailer came out, and even wrote a post a while back about how I didn’t get the hype. I listen to a lot of film-related podcasts, (my favorites are The Movie Hour and Film Spotting) and this movie has been discussed for over 2 years now as one of the most anticipated movies to EVER be released. After watching the trailers, I had pretty much written Avatar off as nothing but a big-budget popcorn film that would be pleasing to the eye, but wouldn’t have an intriguing story. I was very wrong. I was hooked on the plot from the beginning- and the 2 hours and forty minutes really flew by.

I also saw “Everybody’s Fine” on Friday night. I’m not sure where I got the idea that this might be at least partially comedic (uh… maybe from the trailer) and I’ll let you form your own opinion, but I will tell you that for me, it was one of the most depressing films I have ever seen, right up there with “Rachel Getting Married.” If you read my post last Friday, you may remember that I was kind of an emotional wreck last week, and this movie really didn’t help the situation. I started tearing up about 10 minutes into the film, and straight up bawled the last 45 minutes. Maybe I needed a final round of therapeutic tears. I was exhausted by the time the movie was over and got a great night of sleep, so maybe I suppose it was worth it.

I’m going to go ahead and end this so that I don’t get depressed again thinking about that shitty-ass sob fest I had on Friday night, but before I do let me crawl out from under the rock I’ve been hiding under and ask you, how the hell am I just now seeing Vince’s Shlomi’s “Slap Chop” commercial? Last night my roommates and I were watching a CNBC special on “escorts” and high-end prostitution rings, ironically enough, when we were graced with the slap chop commercial- not one- but four times. This commercial in it’s pure form is entertaining enough. It boasts such lines as “This tuna looks boring. Stop having boring tuna. Stop having a boring life, “ and “You’re going to be in a great mood all day because you’re going to be slapping your troubles away with the Slap Chop.” And of course we cannot forget “ “You’re going to love my nuts.”

After a quick google search, I found out that DJ Steve Porter has taken this infomercial to a whole new level. I guess there is a chance I can owe my chipper mood to watching this about 6 times already.

I realize I’m about 5 months late on viewing this video, but if you’re like me and are oblivious to infomercials, enjoy.

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Anyway, back to you… I am hoping I will eventually catch up to all 900 or so unread posts on my reader… but I’m thinking it may take a while.

This weekend was kind of insane. On Saturday I got to catch up with a bunch of my college sorority friends at a baby shower.  (Love you Lydia and little Oliver who will be born sometime in the next 10 days) I’m usually terrified of situations that have anything to do with babies… mostly because babies scare the hell out of me. But besides the slight panic attack that I had in Babies R Us whilst trying to get someone to help me figure out what a Diaper depot was and where in this freak house of miniature things it might be found, I had a pretty rockin time.

I got all Martha Stewart on your asses and even made cream cheese tortilla rolls for the second event this month. I completely forgot to add salsa, which is apparently a major ingredient, but no one  said anything if they noticed.

I think the most shocking moment for everyone was probably when I held one of my friend’s babies. I did have to sit down first in the style of a 10 year old… but it wasn’t even such a terrifying experience. I actually really liked holding her. I had to admit  that babies are kind of cute and soft and I kind of started wanting to eat her up… or at least pet her obsessively. That came out a lot creepier than I meant it. What I’m trying to say is that- while I still don’t have baby fever in any way shape or form, maybe I shouldn’t be so scared of hanging out with my mommy friends a little more often.

We also drank a whole lot of champagne. I haven’t been to many baby showers, but I am quickly finding out that they even though the preggers guest of honor can’t drink, it’s perfectly appropriate for everyone else to. Afterward, a few of us hit the streets of our college town, and basically didn’t stop until around 10:30 on Sunday night. We gave Sunday Funday a whole new meaning, which basically led to a pretty miserable Monday. Except for one part…

Yeah I know what you’re thinking, because I was thinking it to.

With all these Oscar-worthy movies coming out in the last week or so, why would I go see Roland Emmerich prove to the world that his dick is smaller than Michael Bay’s?

For one, I had to get at least one more popcorn-blockbuster-type movie in before I start spending most of my free time in the Angelika, watching foreign and arthouse-ish type films through January.

Also, I actually like really really like end-of -the-the-world-shit-blowing-up-disaster type films. Who doesn’t? If you say you didn’t like Independence Day, I’m so calling bullshit. And not just because Bill Pullman pretty much made the sexiest-voiced president ever in a film. These type of movies do exactly what they set out to do, and that is to entertain and get you excited. Yeah yeah yeah, I admit that it was essentially one near death experience after another, but it definitely kept me on my toes. I spontaneously decided to forgo the gym and go see it by myself after work, but if someone would have been with me I probably would have spent the second half of the movie punching them in the arm.

I was planning on writing a full-on movie review, but I knew what that would turn into…

A post about nothing except for my love for John Cusack, and that can get old really fast. Just ask anyone that knows me in real life.

But seriously. I love the man… skewed political opinions and all. I don’t know what it is about this guy, but just seeing him on the screen makes me all giddy and butterflies in the stomach and all that nonsense that the thirteen year old me felt when opening up a Tiger Beat magazine that featured a pin up of Brad Renfro.

In complete honesty, I would probably love any movie that this man was in, (with the exception of The Contract, because that movie just sucked balls) and I completely blame John Cusack for the fact that I have spent the better part of my life single. How can a girl settle down with someone unless he shows up at your window with a boom-box and professes his love to through the musical stylings of Peter Gabriel? I’m still waiting!

And the thing that gets me the most about him is that he’s just so damn average. He’s good looking in a “guy that you see in your local grocery store” sort of way…  He usually plays these average down and out cynical characters, that are passionate about books and movies and music… but the dude always wins… and you really want him to.

2012 is no exception. I would much rather see the John Cusack continuously narrowly escape being blasted by fire balls and falling into the earth than Brad Pitt or George Clooney. You know they’ll escape. I would rather watch John Cusack do anything on the screen. Speaking of my favorite award night of the year, how has this man never been nominated?

See what I’ve done here? And I must stop. Mostly because I may need to change my panties.

Don’t be surprised if the next time you come here there is John Cusack wallpaper on my background. I will go there.

But until then… I’ve missed you and go see 2012!!! Now!

The trailer was finally released a couple weeks ago, and I’m sure everyone who cares has seen it by now. I’m still hearing nothing but positive buzz. Everyone is talking about how they can’t wait for the “best film of the year” and how great the CG is. I can understand being impressed by the trailer… as it is visually pretty impressive… but how the hell does everyone think that this will be the best film this year? I have watched the trailer about 14 times and still can’t figure out what this is about. All I can gather is that it has something to do with blue aliens on another planet in the future… I guess. What am I missing that everyone else sees? What makes this film so frickin special?

Let me know if you have the answers…

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I will also admit that I really wanted to see Sandra Bullock’s latest, “All About Steve,” but seeing that it only received a .05% fresh on Rottentomatoes, I may have to wait until it comes out on DVD. As of late, I rarely deem these romantic “Mc-movies” worthy enough of a re-watch, and only a select few are enjoyable enough for me to actually purchase. However; every once in a while, I’ll see a romantic girly movie that really gets to me for some reason, and makes it on to my “watch and re-watch with my girlfriends, and every time it is on cable tv list.” Most of these are films that I loved in Junior High and High school, and they have somehow continued to be favorites of mine. I think it’s because when I watch them, I remember what it was like to watch romance movies before I was jaded and cynical about relationships. I kind of miss that. I figure I’ll take this time to share my favorites with you. Please note that I am not claiming any of these to be “good” films, just ones that I enjoy.

10. A Philadelphia Story- (Directed by George Cukor. Starring: Cary Grant, Katharine Hepburn, James Stewart.)This 1940 classic starring Jimmy Stewart, Cary Grant and Katharine Hepburn is one of the only classics that will be making my list, mostly because by the time I was old enough to start appreciating classic movies- I had already gotten out of my rom-com phase. Plus, I think this film really embodies what a rom-com needs to be. Handsome men, a lot of laughs, and of course- you have to have that realistic  plot (what woman can’t relate to an impossibly rich beautiful woman who has to choose between 3 handsome, charming men who all treat her as if she’s the bees knees?)

9. One Fine Day- (Directed by someone not worth the time for me to look up. Starring: George Clooney, Michelle Pfieffer, that little girl from Independence day who grew up to be Ann on Arrested development) I know, it’s really a terrible film. I  have no excuse for the fact that I’m able to recite this movie from start to finish without even having it on, especially since the dialogue is so poorly written. It may help that this movie came out right smack in the middle of my being in love with George Clooney stage, which coincidentally is finally coming to an end. That and the plot is of the boy meets girl, boy hates girl, boy and girl end being perfect for each other- variety.  And did I mention I love George Clooney?

8. Reality bites-(Directed by Ben Stiller. Starring: Winona Ryder, Ethan Hawke, Jeneane Garafalo)  I think this film  may be a little to angsty to be considered a “chick-flick,” but I don’t care. It would probably end up on my list of favorite action films, that’s how much I love this movie. Plus if you really think about it, there is that super hot scene where Lelaina and Troy Dyer (I just love that name) finally get it on – that could be considered “action.” This was Ben Stiller’s feature directorial debut, and as much as I love pretty much everything he has done, I wish he would make more movies like Reality Bites. This film has some of the best dialogue (“This is all we need. A couple of smokes, a cup of coffee, and a little bit of conversation. You and me and five bucks,”) one of the best soundtracks ever (U2′s All I want is you, Squeeze’s Tempted by the Fruit of Another,) and of course, it stars Ethan Hawke. I realize at this point in my life that Troy Dyer is precisely the type of boy that I shouldn’t date, and I blame this movie for making me continuously fall for this type. I could go on for days about this film so I will just quit now.

7. Someone like you- (Directed by Tony Goldwyn. Starring: Ashley Judd, Hugh Jackman, Greg Kinnear) This is probably the worst movie on the list. I don’t even particularly love any of the characters, the plot is completely unoriginal, and I can’t even remember what it is even about. so I really can’t explain this film’s appeal. I think it could have something to do with the scene where Hugh Jackman is in his underwear, but it’s not only that… I give up. I don’t know. It’s just one of those movies that I watch when when I don’t want to have to think… and I’ve seen it about a thousand times now. Maybe I should take it off the list. Nope, I think I’ll leave it.

6. Say Anything-(Directed by Cameron Crowe. Starring: John Cusack, Ione Sky.) Every time I watch this movie, I can’t help but feel the way I felt the first time I “fell in love.” There is something so real about this movie, and the way the characters react to their first experience with romance that just gives me butterflies. This is the film that really put John Cusack on the map as the unlikely hero. Lloyd Dopler is so real, and there’s not really anything especially attractive about him- but jeez. I would do just about anything to have him show up under my window, Jukebox in hand, blasting “In Your Eyes” to let me know he loves me.

5. Serendipity-(Directed by Peter Chelsom. Starring: John Cusack, Kate Beckinsdale) Maybe you’re starting to notice I have a slight obsession with John Cusack. I really wanted to include High Fidelity on this list as well, but I just don’t think it really fits my standards as a chick-flick. Sooo, I digress. I love Serendipity. There is something to be said about the “fate” themed movies that really make a girl believe she has a chance at love in this world. This movie made me want to meet someone and fall in love, and then walk away from him just to see if it’s meant to be. It also makes me want to fly to NYC and have a delicious frozen hot chocolate at Serendipity…

4.Knotting Hill-(Directed by Roger Mitchell. Starring Julia Roberts, Hugh Grant.) I can’t believe this is the only Julia Roberts film on my list. I guess it’s because this movie fulfills that fantasy that every girl has about meeting your movie star idol and falling in love. Except in this movie, it’s the boy who meets his movie star idol… but since Hugh Grant is a little feminine (or maybe its just his English accent that makes him seem that way) we, the women, can relate. Plus, its really nice in a romantic comedy, to see a guy who is unabashedly chasing after the woman of his dreams.

3. Bridget Jone’s Diary-(Directed by Sharon McGuire. Starring: Collin Firth, Hugh Grant, Renee Zellweger.) Find me a girl who doesn’t include this movie in their top 10 favorite romance movies, and I will eat a booger. It had me in the first scene where she sat crying in her pjs, lip syncing to “All By Myself. ” I really have to give the credit to Helen Fielding, who’s novel of the same name started the chick-lit fad of novels about over weight girls, trying to find romance in an appearance obsessed world. But the movie really did do the novel justice. I do wish they wouldn’t have attempted a sequel.

2. When Harry Met Sally- (Directed by Rob Reiner. Starring: Meg Ryan, Billy Crystal.) I really consider this to be the King Queen of chick flicks. Any movie that can take a guy like Billy Crystal and make him into an attractive leading man, really does its job. It also set the standard for the theme of best friends falling in love in romantic comedies, only to be put to a test about 15 years later with My Best Friends Wedding. Until this movie’s release, I wonder if anyone had really pondered the idea that guys and girls really can never be “just friends.” Either way, it really did a number on me.

1. While You were sleeping- (Directed by Jon Turteltaub. Starring: Bill Pullman, Sandra Bullock.) This is probably my favorite go-to movie of all time. Don’t judge me. It’s another movie that I can recite from start to finish, and I’m a little proud of this fact. It may be far fetched that someone would go to such an extreme to gain the acceptance of the family of someone who they have only briefly met; but it works for me. I love the chemistry between Jack and Lucy, almost as much as I love Bill Pullman’s sexy voice. And what wouldn’t I do to have someone propose to me by dropping a ring through the train token window where I was working, when it was least expected.

There are at least 10 other films that I have been debating putting on the list, but I think I’ll eventually have to make a part deaux… I’ve already overdone myself in sappy thoughts for the day. I would love to hear your favorites, so feel free to comment!

I had heard so much about Inglorious Basterds, I couldn’t believe it could possibly live up to all the hype.

How very wrong I was. I don’t have the time right now to get out a full review, and I’m still digesting some of the gory details- but at this point in time I must say that this is my favorite film of the year thus far.

It’s just as bloody as everyone says it is, but I think it works. Brad Pitt was excellent as the lead Basterd, bringing out a character like I haven’t seen him do since 12 Monkeys.  Christoph Waltz, a German actor who plays the evil yet cunning antagonist Nazi- Colonel Hanz Landa- really stole the show for me. I’m gonna go out on a limb and say I will shave my head if he doesn’t get an Oscar Nom this year. I’m that sure. I said the same thing about Mickey Rourke last year and Javier Bardem the year before so I’ll go ahead and just make this a tradition of being correct.

My other favorite part of the movie was Eli Roth who plays Donny Donowitz, other wise known as the “Bear Jew” who made a name for himself bashing Nazis heads in with a baseball bat. I know people out there have some hate for Eli Roth, but he is probably one of my favorite people on earth. In case you are unfamiliar, Roth is best known for directing the horror gore movies Cabin Fever and Hostel. He’s most often called a hack, but I tend to think differently. His B style films are intentional, and after watching the director’s commentaries, all of the extras on the dvds, and any interview I could find on the interweb, I’m positive that any time you laughed or have guffawed at a scene in one of his films, he wanted you to feel this way.

Plus he’s a hottie. But that aside, I think you can really see the influence Roth has had on Tarrentino in Ingourious Basterds. But enough about that. All I can really add is that even if you are not a Tarrentino fan, or if you think this looks too much like a “guy” movie for your taste- give this movie a chance, it will blow your mind.

And now I must be going for I have some plans for this evening.

I am now going to admit something to you now, something I usually lie about or promptly change the subject when it comes up. I’ve never seen Pulp Fiction. I know. What in the hell am I doing calling myself a film buff? Its not that I had no desire or anything- its just that sometimes when everyone and their dog says a movie is their favorite of all time, I’m scared that I’ll see it and then to fail to understand what all the love is about. I kind of made a vow never to see this or Saving Private Ryan.  I think now it is time I break my vow, at least the half involving Pulp Fiction.  I loved Inglorious Basterds that much.

I realize that was bad, real bad. But I couldn’t think of anything clever to say so I stooped to what I thought was the next best thing, a rhyme. I was wrong.

But this isn’t about me. This is about a movie that I really, very much enjoyed. I kept hearing that this film is not what you would expect, so I went into it really not knowing what to expect, and came to my own opinion that it was kind of what I expected. Especially knowing that the director, Marc Webb, is a former music video director.

It’s definitely not your average rom-com chick flick. I actually don’t think I would classify it as a chick flick at all. The film is completely told from  the guy’s point of view, which is very rare in the romantic comedy genre, and I would know. Looking back, the story wasn’t really anything too out of the ordinary, as long as you discount the fact that the couple in question does not end up together. The way the story is executed  will make “500 Days” stand out from the endless dribble of “Made of Honor” type of movies that have been released recently.  The film essentially tells the story of Tom (Joseph Gordon Levitt) falling in love with Summer (Zooey Deschanel,) and his reaction to their break-up. The kicker is that the movie is  non-linear. We go from seeing Day  344 , when they’re in the midst of a break-up, to day 11 when they are first starting things up. (these are not the actual days, I’m not a professional here.) It’s like the movie version of Boggle, and I like it.

I’ve read several reviews where “500 Days of Summer” has been compared to Garden State and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I can understand if they are referring to the movie’s “artsy” qualities. However, if you’re talking about the tone,  it’s pretty obvious Marc Webb had a lot more fun with his film, despite the fact half of the movie revolves around a dramatic breakup, than Zach Braff or Michel Gondry did in their perspective films. In fact, although both Garden State and ESOTSP hold places in my personal top 10, I have to say 500 Days beat them out on my fun-o-meter.( In case you’re wondering, my fun-o-meter measures movies by how many drinks I want to have when I’m finished. ) I’ve also heard many a comparison between this movie and Woody Allen’s Annie Hall, which definitely shares a similar plot.

What really helps the film is the fact that Zooey Deshanel has the uncanny ability to entrance the audience. Whether she is playing playing the “Penis Game” in a crowded park, or telling her boyfriend (without regret) that their relationship is over, you can’t make yourself hate Summer. Plus I really dig her 60′s inspired clothing. In fact, she has pretty much awed me in every film she’s been in. And damnit yes, I’ll admit it. I originally cut my bangs in an effort to look more Zooey Deshanel-ish. Didn’t work.

Joseph Gordon Levitt’s Tom is equally charming and enjoyable to go on a journey with, which is not surprising considering his recent track record. Tom is so damn adorable that he will make you want to move to LA and cook him pancakes until he gets over that stupid Summer. And even if he were still in love with her, you’d still want to cook him platonic pancakes.  We were first introduced to him in the 90′s alien sitcom “3rd Rock from the Sun,” and even before that I had Tiger Beat pictures in my room after he starred in 1994′s  “Angel in the Outfield.” He was dreamy even back then.

And really as if all of this were not enough, 500 Days of Summer includes a dance scene and tons of good old movie references, as well as awesome music. Soooo… the dialogue could have been shit and I probably still would have come out smiling. But really, your a robot if you don’t relate to at least one of the characters. I’ve been both characters, though more often in Tom’s shoes. There were about 5 times in the movie where the characters had a conversation that I have had in the last few months. All in all, this is definitely one to see in the theater, and to buy on the release date. Even if you’re a dude, you should give this one a chance.