Nom Nom Numb

Carissa Jade — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 14:08:39 +0000

***Alright, folks, you know the rules. Join us all in humiliating the crap out of yourself every Thursday by sharing some completely tasteless, wholly unclassy, “how many readers can I estrange THIS week??” TMI story about your life. Or hell, about someone else’s!

tmi-thursday

Carissajaded here. It saddens me to say that Lilu is on vacation for the next few weeks (that bish.) Luckily, she has planned to continue posting her very special post secret editions of TMI. Check it out! Hint: One of them is mine!! Can you guess which one? Also be sure to check out her TMI archives for hours of TMI enjoyment!

Today is a special guest post TMIT. As I am still completely mortified by last week’s TMI (in which I allowed my best friend to completely shit on me, or actually in which I shit on her car) another one of my BFFs (who would like to remain anonymous) has offered to tell a story of her own. She’s a new blogger, and not yet ready to pop her TMI cherry on her own blog, so I invited her to share her story over here today.

I now pass the mic to my friend Megr….

This happened to yours truly yesterday AT LUNCH…..

This cold weather has really been getting me down, and I’ve got to work super late tonight so I thought I would take a nice long, relaxing lunch at my boyfriends house. This little special break from work happens every month or so and involves me going to his house, cooking us both some food, and then we hop into bed for a bit. Pretty nice lunch!

I made vegetable tacos, which were quite delish, but I know why you all are still reading so let’s get to the good part, shall we?

After lunch, we got into bed and snuggled under the covers. A little kissing started, and then things really got moving. My boyfriend started kissing me down there, and WOW! It was hot.

I mean really hot….OOOUCH!!! What is going on?? Why does this feel so….painful??!!

Then I have a sudden and HORRIBLE flashback of cutting up a fresh jalapeno and sprinkling it on my boyfriend’s meal before serving it about 30 minutes prior. He loves jalapenos. Vaginas do not.

I start yelling “OOUUUCCCHHH it burns!!! It buurrrns!!!” My boyfriend alarmingly asks, “What’s wrong, what’s wrong?”

To which I respond “My vag is eating a jalapeno!!!!”

We immediately cease all lovey action and take action to calm my en fuego girl parts. In his attempts to make me laugh and keep the mood light he suggested a milk bath or perhaps sprinkling some bread on it. The end result involved a cold wash cloth and some pitiful tears and back rubbing.

Needless to say, I’ll never look at jalapenos the same way again.

Carissa Jaded » cold weather

Nom Nom Numb