Per usual, here I am the night before the money is due, AND I STILL HAVE NO IDEA!!!!

I’m sure there are those of you who are going to tell me, “Sure Carissa, what do you have to lose? You’ll end up having a blast!” And you know what? I’m sure that when it is all said and done, that I WOULD have a blast, but we can’t discount the possibility that in order for that to happen I would have to be so balls- to- the- wall wasted that I wouldn’t remember it.

But I’m also fairly sure that there are some of you -who like me, are either on the fence about attending your own reunion, or decided not to go because you felt it wasn’t worth the effort or the money. I’m not even sure if this is how I feel. I don’t know how I feel anymore. I JUST CAN”T DECIDE! SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT TO DO!

Sorry for yelling. I’ve just been thinking long and hard (TWSS) about this one, and it’s a toughie. On the one hand, there are a lot of people that I would love to catch up with. I haven’t kept in good touch with most of my friends from high school and I think it would be real freaking awkward nice to see everyone again. Even more so, I feel like I’ve gotten to “know” a lot of the people who I wasn’t so close with by stalking their Facebook pages, and shizzles, it feels like I was missing out on some really awesome people back then. On top of all that, damn I look good and I want to show off! I kid… No but for real, while I’ve lost all this weight, most of the people I knew back then don’t even know I gained and lost a hundred pounds in the last 10 years, so I feel like that isn’t a good reason to go.

I guess my reservations are probably like a lot of peoples. I’ve heard that the 10 year reunion is kind of like a “show off” parade, where people talk about all of their accomplishments, show off pictures of their children, and talk about their career advancements. Don’t get me wrong great peoples of the nets, I’m proud of what I’ve done over the last ten years, and I have no shame at showing up single at an event like this. (although if John Cusack or Ketchup wanted to go with me, I’d be bout it bout it.)  I am aware that my goals are probably different from most people who I went to high school with, and that I’m not exactly on a “conventional” life path. I am perfectly fine with the fact that most people would probably raise their eyebrows at the amount of pride that I take in the fact that I have performed comedy, that I have been published, that some people actually read my blog, or that I am in fact, content being single. (At least 79% of the time.)

I feel that I have gone through so many changes since high school, and despite living in a world of complete (controlled) chaos, I like who I’ve become. I still have a long way to go, but for the most part (Yay) I’m a hell of a lot more comfortable with who I am today, and I’m a much over all “better” (despite my faults) person than I was back then.

Here’s my thing. I like who I am now. I like my life now. And while there are some things that I enjoyed about high school, I would much rather bring them to me, than take a roller coaster down memory lane back to that time of my life. I would like it better if I could magically just pick a few things that I liked about my high school life and apply them to my life now. Like the ability to wear overalls without people thinking I was a farmer. Or glitter. Or getting ready with a big group of girls before a dance, that was fun.

But you know what was WAYYY better than high school?????

Certainly not Junior High. That was even more awkward. I had like 30 pet mice,  wore nothing but vintage clothes, and really and truly believed that I could communicate with ghosts.  Which was cool, but back then I cared a lot about what people thought of me so I nixed out all of the awkward from my life as soon as I realized it wasn’t cool.

Let’s take it back a little further, shall we? Elementary School. That time of my life was made of awesome. I didn’t care what anyone thought of the fact that I wore Umbros and hand painted t-shirts everyday. Life was fun! I know it had it’s downsides, (like when I wasn’t invited to Brooke’s slumber party, or when some guy called me a one armed pirate because I had my arm in a body cast and an eyepatch on at the same time) but all in all, life was pretty care free. Again, I wouldn’t necessarily go back there- but I’ve been thinking about the 5 things from my personal Elementary experience that I would like to have in my adult life. So let’s do this.

TOP 5 THINGS FROM ELEMENTARY SCHOOL I WANT IN MY LIFE NOW!!!!!

My Tree-House: I had the best. tree-house. evah! While it wasn’t too big, it was perfectly adequate for my needs. (TWSS!!) But seriously, two of my favorite pastimes include making badass forts, and drinking on patios. Drinking in a treehouse would basically be the perfect cocktail of the two. Especially if I had cute boys next door that we could spy on. If that was the case, I would definitely remove the “NO BOYS ALOUD” (I was a poor speller) sign from the wall.

The School Cafeteria: I’ll admit it, while some of the best times happened there, so did some of the worst. I have a clear memory of walking through the cafeteria with my tray and crossing my fingers that someone at the “cool table” saved me a seat, but either way- fun times ensued. One of the worst times in my life was when my 4th grade teacher, Mrs. Honzel, force- fed me green beans and made me drink her tea with red lipstick on the cup, to wash it down. But then I have to remember “The Game.” “The Game,” was almost as fun as the bug game. Everyone at my table would take an item of food from their own lunch, and contribute it to the community tray, then we would mix it up good, and each take turns trying to stomach it. I think it landed a few of us in the principals office… but TOTALLY WORTH IT! Maybe if I go to the reunion I will try to organize a rendition of this particular game… only maybe with drinks. IN ADDITION. Not that I’m as interested in these things these days, but do you remember that a Star Crunch cookie was only five cents?? Or that a NuttyBar was only 10 cents? Or that they served delicious square pizza??? #IWonderWhyIWasFat

Nap Time: Dude, this really needs no explanation. I used to hate it when my teachers forced us to take naps. I would do anything to resist the nap. I’m pretty sure I LITERALLY held my eyeballs open just to prove a point. But if my boss came to me now and told me “Carissa, you must force yourself to shut up and go to sleep for 45 minutes,” I would probably clip her toenails with my teeth. Seriously. Make me take a nap! PLEASE!

Recess: Another given. Fun and beneficial. Can you imagine if we got recess for thirty minutes every day? And I’m not talking about a cigarette break in the back of the office, but a recess where everyone was forced to go outside and “play?” I would be a thousand times more productive. Not only would I have the chance to hone up on my four square skills (because, yes, I was am-haze-ing) but I could also take out some much needed aggression on my co-workers in a friendly game of dodge-ball, or “tie your head up in a teather ball string.”

Talent Shows: I’ve talked a lot about this today, both on Facebook and on Twitter, and I was being quite serious. I’m sick of all these shows that showcase talent. You can take your “American Idols” and “So You Think You Can Dance” and shove em’. (Although I really do love SYTYCD) The real fun is where there isn’t any talent. I wish I had a way to post some of my early talent show videos for you… dancing to Debbie Gibson and Kris Kross… Singing to Night Fever… Lip Synching to New Kids on the Block. Wobbly Arms and no rhythm… THATS where the entertainments at. I would so spend hours making up a dance to Britney Spears, even today.

So basically what I’m saying is that we should have a talent show. What would you do? There’s no rules here.

And also, SHOULD I GO TO THE REUNION!?!?!?

Well recently my aunt (whom I love dearly) has posted a few pictures on my Facebook page, which you may have already seen if you’re my facebook friend. If you’re not, feel free to add me now…

These old pics got me thinking thinking that maybe I should take you through a little hot tub time machine of my life… the good, the bad, and the completely awkward. So ummm let’s all get naked and go for a ride, shall we?

I don’t really understand the concept of baby time, so I have no idea how old I was here… but I’m going to go with baby. Maybe even newborn. I do know I was born with hair… so possibly?

Here I must have been a little bit older. Still have no concept of age, but it looks like maybe I was taking a first step or attempting it? No clue. Still, I don’t look so happy to be wearing a weird jumper thingie.

I guess I should count my blessings none of my baby-pics were taken with me in an eyepatch….

What appears to be shy and innocent, is in fact -never shy and innocent.

Ugh. Yeah.. I was a girlscout. Or “Brownie” or whatever we called them. Those cheeks are evident of the fact that I ate a lot of cookies…

Check out those Keds. And also that feather.

I wan’t homeless… this was just an “Annie” costume.

Things only got more awkward from this point… If you look closely, I needed to pluck my eyebrows at the ripe ole age of 7. Awesome.

(5th Grade) No wonder I didn’t have any friends… EEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK What was I wearing mom? What was with that hair?

Ok… this was probably 7th grade. With the exception of the overalls…  I think I had a bit of an improvement.

I don’t have any pics to share with you at this time of me in between the ages of Jr High and Sr Year… but just imagine an awkward girl wearing either Umbros, Long Pepe shorts, or vintage clothes that had no business appearing in the mid-nineties, and you should get the picture.

The classic graduation pic. I can’t believe my 10 yr reunion is this summer. What in the hell?

So yeah. Thanks for viewing my lame post. I have shied away from posting old pics mostly because they’re awkward and yucky and I hate the and I think you probably don’t care… But I figured they were at my disposal, so why not?

And on a very similar subject, some of my bestest buddies, my old roommates whom (who?) (at this hour I don’t care) I miss  dearly just started a website, Relive the 90′s.com but it doesn’t seem to be working at this moment. So what you need to do is follow them on their twitter here.. and when the site becomes available, submit your favorite pic/memory/toy/movie WHATEVER you love and find near and dear… It was up and running earlier today, so hopefully it will be by now!

Happy Wednesday people!

I am going to go ahead and skip right to the post-it’s, but before I do- I have to say -I MISS YOU GUYS!!!

I may be without the interwebs until Monday, so I will not be able to go around and read all of your wonderful, hilarious, thought provoking posts… and for that, I apologize! I also won’t be writing here as much as I’d like, and I may go Britney Spears crazy because of it. I hope yall will still love me if I come back next week with a shaved head and  2 kids on my hip. Please?

I also have the urge to eat something chocolaty right now, but that really has nothing to do with any of this except for my inability to stay on subject.

Thall shalt not hath to wait-eth any mor-eth. Here is thou mighty post-its.

(See. Crazy is already taking over-eth.)

For many more fantabulous post-it’s, make sure you check out Supah-Mommy’s page!

I may not have a magic hot tub, but I certainly have an incredibly disgusting bath tub. EEEKKKK

*** It is not usually like this. We have a drain problem which has kept me from taking hour long relaxing baths. Now I’m afraid to even stand in the shower because within seconds the water rises above my ankles… I wasn’t lying about being bald in a few weeks. That is ALL hair! (Not all mine)

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Look how clean!

All that's left is a blow up mattress!!

Ok so there are a few of my things left... but mostly, all gone!

My work station at home. Still completely intact.

ahhhhh closet vomit!!!!

ummm a few stacks of things that are ready to be packed?

I'm trying to keep the clean clothes off the dirty floor without actually having to hang them up. It is semi-effective.

Soooo… yeah. I still have a million kazzillion bajillion things to do. I want to cry. All I want to do is go lie in bed and watch season 1 of Heroes that I just rented 5 days ago and haven’t been able to watch because of my television commitment issues. But that’s being saved for another post. I love you people and please stick with me though I will be taking a bit of a absentee ballot (it’s more like I never registered) for the next few days/weeks. Soon I will be back to wreak both havoc and  love into all of your lives. In the mean time, GCHAT ME BITCHES! I neeeeeeeed youuuu! (If you don’t have my google name, its carissajade, don’t tell)

Awwwww yeahhhhhh I’m goin to bed at a decent hour on a freakin air mattress.

Still don’t have a bed and this makes me teary eyed. I also have not yet been contacted by the J to the Cusack. I wander if he did some research and found out about my voting history. EEEEKKKK.

Suckas.

Make sure you check out Lilu’s site, and check out her TMI Thursday archives for all sorts of hilarity!

I’m pretty sure I shouldn’t be writing this right now, as it is after 12am and I just had an awesome time out with some great Dallas Bloggers, but I’m gonna attempt it anyway.

I just got off the phone with one of my best dude friends, and got permission to tell this story, which has already been briefly mentioned before, but I feel that it definitely warrants a TMI story of its own… but I’m gonna keep this short…

So my friend, “Sam,” (that’s what I’ve called him before) and I have been really good friends ever since college. I can’t remember whether he didn’t have a washer because he lived in his fraternity house, or if he was just too lazy to do his own laundry, but quite often he would bring his laundry over to my house for me to do for him.

Please take note gentlemen: I am not the domestic type. I would not do laundry for just anyone. This boy is not only one of my best friends, but at the time- I was pretty much in that stage of “OhMyGodILoveYouAndYesIWillDoAnythingYouWantMeToDo.”

So he brings over a big load of laundry and I got started. I begin putting the clothes in the washer, when I came across a pair of shorts that was heavier than it should be.

I’m pretty sure at least that it was the weight that made me look twice, and I wish I hadn’t.

I pulled the shorts apart to see what was making them so heavy… and oh yeah…

Skid lake lay inside.

I screamed and called my roommate to come help me out.

His explanation? He had eaten too much Taco Bueno and then had to move all day. Yeah… and I should have gotten over this one right then… notsomuch.

Make sure you check back to Lilu’s Archives… they are the best things you’ll read all week!

I’m not usually the type of girl who likes to kiss and tell. O.K., that’s a lie. But I’m not the type of girl who likes to talk about sexual experiences all over internets, especially on a site that my parents frequent. So today I’m going to tell you a story that happened to a, ahem, friend of mine.

Once upon a time there was a girl named… lets call her “Cari.”

She was young and naive and only a Sophomore in college.  Although she was not quite twenty-one, Cari had just began to get the full extent of how crazy night life in college could really be.

One night, Cari went to a bar with some friends. She had been kind of talking to a guy (lets call him Dave) who worked at a local bar, which was kind of awesome because he could sneak her drinks. By kind of talking, I mean that they had made out once or twice, but had yet to take it beyond first base.

At the time, Cari was still pretty naive when it came to sexual experiences. She had kissed her share of boys, but was not the kind of girl to go home with almost strangers.

This night, because of the ridiculous amount of drinks that she sneakily inhaled, she decided to make an exception.

Dave was quite a bit older and willing to take the drunken Cari back to his house to take care of her. He was quite the gentleman and even stopped to get Cari lemon lime Gatorade on the way to his house.

Once they got there, things got a little hot and heavy. Not to the point of actual intercourse, but to the point where clothes were taken off.

It was around this point that Cari passed out into a dark and dreamless sleep.

She woke up very early in the morning with a horrible cramp in her stomach. It was not the type of cramp that could be mistaken. She really had to take a shit.

At this point, Cari was still laying on her side under the covers. She wanted to try to sneak out of bed and into the bathroom so that Dave wouldn’t wake up to the sound of her using the restroom. She could feel his presence right behind her, and hear the sounds of his heavy snoring behind her head. She shifted to try to move without disturbing the hairy man next to her.

As she did, she noticed something very strange.

“What in the hell is that!?” she thought as she started to panic. It seemed to Cari, that there was something lightly resting upon her butt cheek.

“Nononononononono! This cannot be happening!” Cari thought as she tried to figure out a game plan.

You see, the pain in Cari’s stomach was so intense, that she had come to the conclusion that she must have laid a turd in this strange harry man’s bed. What else would be resting gently against her butt cheek?

She thought maybe she should just run out of the door, hitchhike back to her apartment, then convince her parents to let her transfer schools.

Tears came to poor Cari’s eyes as she realized that she had really done it. Her life was over. She was about to leave all of her new friends, and all because she decided to get drunk and poop in a well known bartender’s bed.

“There has to be another way,” Cari thought…. “AHA! Maybe I can just scoop it up and throw it in the trash without him noticing!”

Cari knew that this would be very difficult. From what she could tell, it was still in it’s solid form. She had been very careful not to lean back and damage it in anyway.

She finally gathered up the courage to very carefully reach behind her back and scoop it up.

Very slowly and carefully, Cari scooted her hand underneath the poop, hoping with all of her heart that she would not leave any remains  behind.

It was in that moment that Cari made the best discovery of her life.

What she held in her hand was not in fact a turd… it was in fact, just Dave’s penis.

Cari quickly woke Dave up and made him drive her home, where she was able to use the restroom in the privacy of her own bathroom.

And they all lived happily ever after.

The end.

A new leaf off the tree-

I’ll spend each bit of precious time

Only doing good for me

I plan to get up early,

Maybe go for a long run.

I would really like to watch T.V.

But there is no time for fun.

I’ll take a shower, clean real well-

And even shave my legs.

Refrain from shopping for new clothes

And parties filled with Kegs.

Then I’ll do the dishes-

The sink is piled high.

I’ll sweep and mop and mow the grass

That’s long surpassed my thigh.

I’ll launder all my dirty clothes

And fold them when I’m done-

I’ll buy fresh goods from the market place,

Right now my fridge has none.

I’ll write some notes to all my friends

Who are afar and over sea-

A hurricane has hit my room,

So I’ll pick up the debris.

I’ll go and change my oil

Maybe go and find a job

I’ll volunteer at the nursing home

And fix that old door knob.

With all these thoughts and plans

I’ve grown tired and feel dismay-

I’m thinking now that my new leaf

Can wait another day.

I actually didn’t even make it in to work today until about 1pm, though not out of any choice of my own.

If you’ve been keeping up with my life, (and why wouldn’t you be?) you would know that my windshield wipers have been broken for about 3 months now. I know I should have been proactive and gotten them fixed back when they quit working… but it’s one of those things that I actually only remember that I need to do, when it is raining. Plus it costs money. And also, it’s been just one more easy excuse as to why I cannot be the designated driver.

This weekend I decided to make an impromptu trip to Ft. Worth during a break in the rain. I put a lot of rain-ex on the windshield-which seems to work fine as long as it is only coming down in sprinkles. I made it there just fine, but as soon as I parked in my friend’s driveway-the sky decided to take a huge, never ending crap on my weekend… It literally didn’t stop raining until late Sunday night. And as a result I literally did not get off the couch for over 24 hours- except to pee and to refill my glass of wine.

So Sunday I decided that if I ever wanted to make it home, I would have to suck it up and take my car into the only shop that is open on Sundays, Pep Boys..aka Rapists.

Of course they didn’t have the part to the wiper motor that they needed so I had to wait until noon today to get my car back, and make the trek to work in Frisco. What a beating.

Over $200 later, I am happy to finally be able to drive in the rain without having to do so Ace Ventura style, but I’m just waiting to see which part of my Shitty Shitty Bang Bang car will decide to quit on me next.

A few other things that are annoying me today:

*Kanye West you are a freaking moron. I hate your music and it makes me furious that people of this world are ignorant enough to make you rich.

*I love the fact that my bank account sends me daily emails to let me know my account is still in positive standing. I loathe the ones they send me to let me know that my account has dipped below that positive standing. I just got one today.

*I actually don’t mind the rain… but it really makes me want to go home and put on pj’s and watch tv. It definitely doesn’t make me want to go home and put on gym clothes then drive to the gym and work out for an hour.

*I’ve been thinking about it this afternoon,  and though I don’t really love the show in the first place, Hung had a really really shitty season finale- and I don’t think I want to watch it next season.

However; not all is crappy. This Thursday It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia returns on FX, and I really just cannot contain my excitement! That coupled with the fact that So You think You Can Dance is already back on, I can continue making my evenings chopped full of slovenly activity.

Oh Seinfeld, my Seinfeld- how I need you in life
Though you went off the air 11 years ago
I still watch you in syndication every night.

You may have been a show about nothing-
But your lessons were never in vein-
In fact, my one true goal in life
Is to be just like George, Jerry, Kramer and Elaine.

Jerry always told his jokes,
Keeping his friends up in a riot…
Just don’t make him wear a puffy shirt
Because of course- “I don’t wanna be a pirate!”

George, he never did anything right,
Constantly getting himself into trouble
He would con anyone- in any situation-
He once even cheated in a game-with a boy in a bubble.

Elaine was somewhat of a serial dater
She’s so cute with her hair all curly…
She once slept with Jerry just to save the friendship-
But just once, because he wasn’t “sponge-worthy.”

Kramer, he always had his schemes-
A pizza place where you put your own topping on the dough
A coffee table book about coffee tables,
And of course you can’t forget the “Manzierre,” or was it the “Bro?”

The gang always met the strangest people
Some who were really off their rocker
In my life I can’t say I’ve known anyone quite like
The high, the low… or the close talker.

Every week was a new adventure,
George takes of his clothes to go poo!
I just won’t follow their lead when I’m ordering lunch
Or I might just hear
NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!

George found the negative in any situation
While Jerry made fun of anyone human,
But if there ever was anything fishy going on-
I’ve got just one word for you-
NEWMAN!

These Pretzels are making me thirsty-they said
And Festivus is the best Holiday…
If you ever have trouble finding Co-Stanza
Then look for an architect, named Art Vandalay.

Yada yada yada, Seinfeld was the best
I’ve got so many memories locked up in the vault
George, Jerry, Elaine, and Kramer -don’t you ever change
I love you, my show without a plot!

*Note- this was originally a piece I did for a monologue show a few years ago, thought I’d share!

I don’t know why I have such a hatred for these beastly animals. I think it may have something to do with the fact that every single day I come home, and the cup of water that I leave by my bed every night (bc I’m allowed to do that) is knocked over by one of my roommate’s cats who tried that head in the cup of water thing. I am telling you first hand that it is not cute finding water spilt all over my book, daily.

Or maybe it has something to do with the fact that last week I came home to find a cat locked in my closet, and I still haven’t been able to rid my clothes of that putrid nasty ammonia  smell of cat pee.

Or maybe the feeling comes from the time, years ago- when I came home to find my college roommate’s cat on the floor of my bedroom, pawing my Beta fish, which had been in a bowl on the very top bookshelf. My roommate, by the way; kept her Beta fish out in the open on the kitchen table- and it never got almost eaten.

It could just be from the fact that it really makes me mad that cats don’t let me hold them. How can an animal be considered “cute” and “a great pet” if it won’t even cuddle with you?If it won’t greet you at the door and pee on your foot in excitement?

Blerg, now I really miss my dog- Princess Stella Rosita Devito Tootsie Bertha Brown.

My Stella Bear

Now that is a cute animal. I’ll post some really abnoxious videos soon.

Now  PLEASSEEEE quit with the kitty posts!!! I’m losing my mind!!!!

And I do have a heart, by the way. Feel free to email me cute  forwards of dogs, monkeys, rats, snakes, zombies, or poop. I enjoy all of those.

-My friends have started to get gray hairs (or no hairs)  and I’m scared shitless that it’s only a matter of time for me to as well.

-I have started listening to talk radio and pod casts… for enjoyment.

-More often than not my tv is tuned in to Fox news or the Discovery Channel or Bravo. I know things about politics, and I have formed my own opinions.

-I have found myself looking at younger girls and shaking my head with the thought that “I can’t believe their mother let them leave the house like that. It’s no longer because I’m jealous that I can’t fit into those clothes, I actually can’t believe they are out in public wearing that.

-I couldn’t recognize a Miley Cyrus or Jonas Brothers song, and I couldn’t pick a Jonas brother out from a room full of adolescence aged boys.

- I haven’t watched an MTV show since there were actual videos on, and until recently I thought William was actually Will1a.m.

-I prefer reading anything by Ann Rice than doing anything related to the Twilight series.

-I worry all day long about how much sleep I’m going to get, because I know I can’t survive on less than seven hours.

-People used to compliment how perky my boobs were. They no longer do.

-I used to sleep in a bra to keep my boobs perky. Now I take that bitch off the second I walk in the door.

-If I met Zach Effron I’d probably have to fight the urge to pat him on the head..  (But I’m not gonna lie, I would totally do Shia Labouf)

-I just had to google how to @reply to someone on twitter.

-I know longer like shopping. I don’t like malls. I despise the music I play in them. I hate the people there. If I go shopping its for an item I need.

-I have used coupons.

-Some of my favorite songs are on the classic radio station.

-I have spent more than an hour of my life looking in the mirror, smiling and frowning, and watching the lines around my eyes move.

-I had a crush on Steven Tyler before he looked like a grandma.

I know, It’s not like I wear reading glasses or anything. But it’s only a matter of time.

Oh yes, I believe I’m still (kind of) hip to the times when it comes to film and music, but I’m pretty sure the movies and music I like makes me more of a nerd- Is Ben Folds still cool? You don’t have to remind me that wisdom comes with age, because their are plenty of things  that I did in my younger age that I wouldn’t ever think about doing today. And I’m not just talking about people.

However, I realized a couple weeks ago while I was watching Juno- that even though I got the gist of the movie and laughed at all the appropriate times- I have no fucking clue what these kids are really talking about.  Here is an insert from the film. What in the hell Ouiser? Or wait, I mean WTF?

Leah: Yo Yo Yiggady Yo.
Juno MacGuff: I’m at suicide risk.
Leah: Juno?
Juno MacGuff: No, it’s Morgan Freeman. Do you have any bones that need collecting?
Leah: Only the one in my pants…
Juno MacGuff: I’m pregnant.
Leah: What? Honest to blog?
Juno MacGuff: Yeah. Yeah, it’s Bleekers.
Leah: It’s probably just a food baby. Did you have a big lunch?
Juno MacGuff: No, this is not a food baby all right? I’ve taken like three pregnancy tests, and I’m forshizz up the spout.
Leah: How did you even generate enough pee for three pregnancy tests? That’s amazing…
Juno MacGuff: I don’t know, I drank like, ten tons of Sunny D… Anyway dude, I’m telling you I’m pregnant and you’re acting shockingly cavalier.
Leah: Is this for real? Like, for real for real?
Juno MacGuff: Unfortunately, yes.
Leah: Oh my GOD. Oh shit! Phuket, Thailand!
Juno MacGuff: There we go. That was kind of the emotion that I was searching for on the first take.

Sooo.. I’ve come to the conclusion that it come time for me to start using an incredibly useful  site known as the Urban Dictionary, a site where users can input their own definitions to slang words. Or as  one member defined Urban Dictionary in the Urban Dictionary: