This has actually been a big thing for me in the last few weeks… “self forgiveness.” I was recently forced to make the toughest decision of my life and sometimes I feel like hitting myself over the head with a stapler, because I’m not sure I did the right thing.

Lately, I feel like I’ve really been struggling with the concept of “let it be.” I curse myself for my lack of self confidence and my inability to be content. I carry on a facade of being “happy go lucky,” which is usually true in the moment. It’s later on, once my brain takes some time to process things that I go on this irrational rollercoaster of emotions.

It’s not only my mind that I have to forgive myself for, my relationship with my physical self has always been a bit rocky.

I don’t think I’ve been particularly kind to my body in the past.

I have starved it and overfed it. I’ve allowed myself to drown in alcoholic binges. There have been times in my past where I’ve gone on blind food binges.
I haven’t always respected myself when it comes to men. I’ve consciously let myself be taken advantage of.

I know that I have some issues, but I think I do a pretty good job at facing them. At least I have self awareness, but I’m not always sure that’s a good thing. There’s quite a bit of truth to that old saying “Ignorance is Bliss.” Oh Plato, you genius you.

I doubt there will ever be a time in my life when I’m not struggling with myself… when I’m not punishing myself or pushing myself to be better at life, but I do hope to get a little bit closer to being content.

I know, if your an internet person you’ve probably known about this thing for months, bust since I’ve been the worst blog reader in the history of blog readers (and that’s like 13 years people), I’m only just finding out about it.

At first I thought it was interesting, but since I typically prefer not to participate in MEMEs, I decided against doing it.I figured that I would never really be able to write truthfully about myself. Hell, I’m not sure if I even know the truth about myself.

Whenever I have tried to figure myself out in the past, all I’ve ever been able to come up with are conundrums.

I love potatoes… a lot. French fries, baked potaters, sweet potaters, mashed tators, tots, hash browns… you name it. I love potatoes, but you couldn’t pay me to eat any of those items if I didn’t smother them in ketchup.

I love John Cusack. I mean hell, I pretend he’s my boyfriend in my head sometimes. But I wouldn’t want to meet him. I would find out that he’s not really Lloyd Dobler and then I’d be really sad.

I believe in God and I believe that I am ultimately a Christian, but I don’t necessarily believe that Jesus was literally God’s son, or that the  Bible is much more than a book on moral guidance.

I am a huge fan of Michael Jackson, and I have so much respect for that man and what he did for music- but listening to him sometimes hurts my earballs.

I could go on with these for days, but basically what I’m trying to say is that I’m one, bit, fat, conundrum. I have a hard time nailing down what I truly believe to be fact about myself.

Which is exactly why I’ve decided to participate in this MEME, that started- who knows where. I’ve been on a bit of a mission of self-discovery lately, and I figure this is as good as a way as any to make some progress on me.

So. I’m not sure how I plan to go about this, whether or not I’ll go in order, or if  I’ll stick to the MEME daily for the rest of NaBloPoMo, but I’m going to attempt to finish all thirty in a timely matter.  I’m not sure how interesting any of it’s going to be, so even if you’ve stuck around this long – I won’t blame you if you bow out now.

In case you have been under the same rock as me, here is the list:

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Feel free to join in, and please let me know if you do. Happy Truthing!

As I approached my 28th Birthday, there were several times when I caught myself thinking of all the things I have yet to accomplish. In fact, I spent the last few weeks laying in bed at night freaking out because I’m STILL not where I thought I would be in my life. I don’t have the ideal income, I’m not completely self reliant, I drink entirely too much, I still have a bit of an inferiority complex, I’ve quit going to the gym daily, and I’ve found that I occasionally still slip back into old bad habits.

Today, though, I made a decision. I’m not sure whether or not it’s because I’ve been clear headed and sober for 48 hours, but while I was on the treadmill today, thoughts began pouring out of my brain before the blaring sound of LCD Soundsystem on my ipod could block them out.

I’m ready to quit focusing on all that I haven’t achieved. I’m ready quit putting myself down for lapses in judgment that I’ve made in the past. I’m ready to stop dwelling on all of my forgotten goals, and I’m ready to stop pretending that I can just sit here idle and the world will magically fix my problems.It’s time to take action.

First I want to congratulate myself on what I have achieved in the past year. Twenty-seven may have not been the best year of my life, but I think I’ve endured a lot of changes, some of which have helped me become a stronger person.

During my 27th year I changed jobs. I changed houses, changed cities, and changed roommates. I watched my family fall apart and had to learn to play the role of an adult with my parents. I helped to bring my family back together. I let go of relationships and learned that I deserve respect from others and from myself. I’ve had arguments with close friends and am learning how to compromise. I became a blogger and realized though at times I may go a little too far, I enjoy putting myself out there and love to write like no one’s reading. I’ve made new friends and reconnected with old ones… and I’m starting to understand the importance of friendship and communication.

But if 27 was a year of change, I think 28 needs to be the year of growth. I’ve decided to set some goals for myself, but I’m also not going to be too hard on myself ifI don’t meet them all.. because after all, I’m not perfect.

I want to be more reliable, and in turn not take people for granted.

A close friend of mine told me the other day that in just the last two months she has noticed that I am not near as flaky as I used to be. She told me that she had started to hold me more accountable to things that I say I will do… and while on one hand that scares the bejeezus out of me… it also made me proud. I used to enjoy being the person that no one could count on. Not because I didn’t want people to like me, but because I was lazy and wanted to be able to flake out of situations without people being surprised. For a long time I didn’t mind when people said, “Oh that’s just Carissa.. she probably just forgot.” After years of this behavior I’m sure that people have just come to assume that I’ll be the one who forgets to RSVP to weddings. People have come to expect that I’ll be the one who will arrive 2 hours late to the party, if I even show at all. I don’t know how I went so long without caring that I was “that” girl. I have come to realize lately that I rather enjoy it when people can count on me. It makes people respect me, and want to behave the same way in return. I plan on making 28 the year that people can count on me for a change.

I want to choose my battles… but also my apologies.

I’m not one to argue much with friends. I don’t like confrontation, but even more than that- I’ve always had a difficult time standing up for myself. Over the last few years I feel that I’ve made some head way in that regard. I’ve begun to feel passionate about my stance on my ideas and care a little more about sticking up for them, and I believe that this is a positive change. However, I’ve gotten myself in a few situations where I’ve gotten involved and I probably shouldn’t have.. It’s good to share opinions, but just like momma always said (your mom, not mine) there are times when things are best left unsaid. Sometimes it’s best to just let things play out and I think it’s important for me to understand that time is the best cure for some circumstances.

That being said, I still feel that one of my greatest weaknesses is how quickly I am to take the blame…. to say “I’m sorry.” I’m not saying that I shouldn’t apologize when I am at fault, but I should definitely recognize the times when I’m not. I spend entirely too much time feeling guilty over situations that I have absolutely no control over. I can’t be there for everyone all the time. It’s not my fault if my friend’s argue with each other, or if their relationships don’t work out. I can’t feel bad about not being able to be at two places at once. I can sympathize with situations, but I can’t always do something about them, and I need to learn to be OK with that.

I want to fill my time with things that make me happy, find new hobbies and get more involved with old ones.

I have a lot of passion for a lot of different things, but I feel like lately I’ve let a lot of them fall by the wayside. I want to spend this year getting back involved in the things I love. I want to perform more, and not be afraid to try new things. I want to improve my writing, and do it more often. I want to take advantage of opportunities. I want to embrace my talents and start looking to using them for my future. I want to join my sister on a birding adventure, ride the bike that has been sitting in my garage for 4 months, and start swimming again. I want to take one of the art classes in my neighborhood that I’ve looked into 5 times but never thought I had the time for. I want to meet some of you people and have some good conversation. I JUST WANT TO DANCE!

I want to live a healthier lifestyle, both physically and mentally… have respect for myself and treat my body like the temple that it is. Basically I want to be the best me.

When people I know see that I’ve lost over a 100 lbs, a lot of people assume that I am the epitome of good health, that I must have have mastered self control.  This couldn’t be further from the truth. Sure there are days, even consecutive weeks when I will work out 5 days a week, watch my portions, and count calories. But there are also days where I am so terrified that I will gain weight, that I will consume almost nothing so that I can drink a bottle of wine at night. There are other days where I will completely jump the wagon and not even care that I just ate an entire weeks worth of Chinese food, but will stress about it for days after. I don’t want to be this person anymore. I know this is something that I’ll probably always struggle with, but I want to find some consistency. My healthiest months are the ones where I am the most happy, and I want to feel that way all the time. I don’t want to be the kind of person who is always concerned about my appearance, or that people are going to judge me…. and for the most part I’m not. I want to get to the point (and some days I’m there) where I’m not concerned if I gain a few lbs, where I know that I will still feel comfortable and confident in my body no matter what size I am.

I want to stop smoking, and I’m only 2 days in but I think I can do this. I want to cut down on drinking significantly, so that I can remember the good times… so that I can enjoy the quality of my life. I want to brush my teeth every night and go to sleep early enough so that every once in a while I can get up and enjoy a sunrise walk.

I want to be more confident in myself. Sometimes I think I was more confident when I was bigger, probably because I had to be. I want to be able to walk into a room and KNOW that I’m fabulous, even if other people may not agree.

I don’t want to be so insecure in my relationships. I want to trust. I want to have more faith in people and human kind as a whole. I want to have the same faith in myself as I think some people have in me.

I want to enjoy everyday of 28, and not get bogged down by the little things. I want to make the most of this wonderful, wonderful life.

Thanks for sticking with me through 27, and through this ridiculously sappy post. Even this girl gets sappy every once in a while. I LOVE YOUR FACE!

I would go into all the details of seeing Michael Ian Black, two back to back nights of karaoke filled-fun including a rendition of “California Girls” with my MOTHER, and the lazy but oh so amazing day I had on Sunday… but I don’t remember the details of either Friday or Saturday night and I don’t feel the details of Sunday are appropriate for the internet.

However, I will share with you the videos that my mom put together. It’s bad though. Not the video quality- that was pretty spectacular (thanks mom!) but my singing? Not so much.

[There is a video that cannot be displayed in this feed. Visit the blog entry to see the video.]

My lord it hurts even watching this. I mean really Carissa? REALLY? Why must I always be so freaking dramatic? WHYYYYYY!!!!???? By the by, this was totally sung in the “Old School” “I fucking need you more tonight” version, but my mom didn’t want to have me say fuck on the internet so she edited it out. Weird.

[There is a video that cannot be displayed in this feed. Visit the blog entry to see the video.]

In other news, today is day numero uno of not smoking. I’m not sure I’ve mentioned it, probably because I wasn’t sure that I was actually going to follow through, but I think 28 is as good as an age as any to quit. It’s not going to get any easier after all but I think I can do this. I’m gonna be a grown up. I just hope I don’t turn into Mel Gibson in the process.

Well I was going to write more, but now I just don’t feel like it so excuse me while I go eat a whole gum ball machine.

Oh and one more thing. I saw this last week and haven’t been able to erase it from my brain.

Sleep well tonight suckers.

[There is a video that cannot be displayed in this feed. Visit the blog entry to see the video.]

I know you’ve missed me. Or not.. but I’ve missed you. I can’t believe my week of stay-cating and watching movies has come to an end. But I guess as they say, all good things must come to an end.

Really though? Why? Why must good things end? The world would be a thousand times better if we simply kept the good things going.

Do you know what that would mean? Since good= John Cusack, we could watch John Cusack movies all the live long day. Since good= sunflower seeds, I could eat them for every meal. Since good=It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, they wouldn’t take really long breaks in between seasons causing me to watch stupid shows instead. Since good = ketchup, people wouldn’t look at me so weird when I use 27 packets with my lunch.

“You can never have too much of a good thing.”

I like that one better…

Anyway, so yes. My good week of not having to go into an office has ended, but I’m actually quite excited to have something to occupy my brain, which has had quite a lot to deal with the past week.

I’ve had some family drama going on, which I’m not going to go into now… because quite frankly I’m tired of thinking about it.

I’ve had to get over seeing approximately 84 peni, which I’m guessing is the plural for “penis,” this week on chat roulette, which I guess is sort of my own fault. Actually though, LA and I found the perfect solution for these weirdos that think that everyone wants to watch them slap their salami. We go through the whole introduction and act like we’re into it… then I stand so that the camera focuses on my crotch, slowly unzip, and pull out a banana. It’s quite entertaining to get their reaction, but then again my entertainment level equates that of a 13 year old boy.

Oh and then last night I got broken up with via text message. By a guy I’m not even sure I was dating in the first place.

I usually don’t like to blog-bash people I know in real life who don’t have a blog that they can use to defend themselves… but I can’t let this one go by without saying anything. I mean a text message!? Really? You don’t even have the courtesy to tell me to my face? To give me just a little explanation?

Truth is, this one is probably my fault too. A few months ago we tried out this whole hanging out thing, and he blew me off without an explanation, so I really kind of expected this.. but still… A text message?

We had been hanging out again recently, and truth be told- I wasn’t really feeling it and it’s not like I thought we were going to get married or anything, but it was fun.. ya know? So I figured what the hell. Then I hadn’t heard from him in a few days and I’m sick of bullshit games so last night (after a full day of pub crawling and drinking) I decided to text and ask what was up.

I have since deleted him from my phone so I can’t say for sure what was said, but I’m thinking it was something along the lines of “Soooo I’m guesssingr itss ovverrr?

His reply? Something to the likes of “I didn’t really see it going anywhere, I’d like to still be friends .”

I think after that I sent him a string of drunken texts but I have no idea what I said so I think I’d like to get that response out there now, for closure and what not.

Dear  Douchecanoe,

Well, I guess I already knew the answer before I drunkenly texted you, so I can’t be too angry with you. At least you were honest. However, I did think that you need to know that telling someone via text that you’re not interested is unacceptable. Sure, it’s better than on a post-it note, or a billboard or something… but not by much. Were we even dating in the first place?  I don’t really think sitting over at your place getting drunk and watching music videos before hooking up counts as a date.

Also, I know that by me writing this, it actually sounds like I might care. This is definitely not the case. More than anything I just wanted a little bit of an explanation. I’m all about constructive criticism and was curious to know what I did that made me not even worthy of a phone call. Unless the reason is because I did something weird like fart in my sleep. Then just leave it be…

In addition, I wanted to express my annoyance with the fact that you got to end it first. Maybe that says something about my maturity level, and usually I wouldn’t care… but a text????

That’s all I wanted to say… hope we can still be friends.

cjaded

Peeee Esssss…

I lied. I do think your hats are stupid.

Also, today I joined match.com today even though part of me feels like I should bow out of this whole dating scene while I am clearly ahead.

I have missed you and hopefully tomorrow night I can catch up on reading some blogs… it’s been way too long but I just couldn’t sit in front of the computer any more than I had to!

My brain isn’t on “write” mode just yet, but I will attempt to put at least a little information out there. “Attempt” being the key word here. I know, I know… it’s Tuesday… what the hell is wrong with me? I don’t know!!! I usually have the hardest time sleeping, but last night it was like someone, finally after 3 weeks, shut my brain off and tied my eyelids closed with steel. It was the first night in a long time that I’ve slept without either ambien or alcohol, which was great! Except for the fact that I am still exhausted today. I don’t feel like I’m coming down with anything, so I’m just gonna go with- the last month (or 3) have finally caught up with me, and that’s ok.

Bear with me, but first of all -I feel I need to play a little catchup on the goings on of my life, for those of you who are interested.

First off, I know I briefly mentioned it a while back, but last weekend I went down to Houston to see a dance show that my friend had written. This is a girl who I have known since I was about 9 through the community theater program in my hometown, but I hadn’t seen her in nearly 10 years. Craziness! She was always a great friend, but she really caught me off guard when she got in touch with me a while back and told me that she was now teaching dance and performing in Houston, and that she had written a dance show inspired by me! ME?

I wouldn’t have missed it for the world, and I’m glad I Jupiter or some other planet didn’t get in the way either. The story was based on a dancer named Carissa who along with her “soul,” (also named Carissa) takes a journey to a dark side and then in the end it appears she dies at a rave. I was a little sad that I died, but in the end she does appear to be brought back to life. My friend said there are several ways that you could look at it, but I’m choosing to go with she was just so tired after that crazy rave, that she decided to take a nap,  and her soul awakens her so that she doesn’t miss the new episode of Chuck. THAT I could relate to today.

The best part of the weekend was getting to catch up with my friend after all of these years, and also getting to spend some time with some of my other old friends who I don’t get to see very often.

Then this last weekend I got to spend some quality time doing nothing but laugh and watch movies with another group of friends that I don’t see often, even though they live fairly close.  I have realized that I have at least 10 people who I would fit into the BFF category, but it is sad how little most of these have to do with my everyday life These last two weeks have kind of made me nostalgic. It’s weird how much time goes by, and even though I’m conscious of the importance that these people have in my life, I rarely get the chance to tell them. I’ve also been thinking about how strange it is that people weave in and out of our lives, touching us in ways that they never have before with each appearance.

Anyways, I’m not trying to get all sentimental on your asses, I think I did enough of that last week.

So let’s move on to some post-it’s, shall we? For more great post-it’s check out Supah Mommy’s blog! It is the bomdiggity! or as it is more cooly said these days, the diggity!

Cocktimus prime

A limp Cocktus

Hard to believe that is the same fellah! Such a sad sad day.

[There is a video that cannot be displayed in this feed. Visit the blog entry to see the video.]

(I know that not all of you can watch videos at work, but I swear on all that is great on this earth, this video is worth your time. )

[There is a video that cannot be displayed in this feed. Visit the blog entry to see the video.]

Oh and both you Bill’s still have nothing on my boyfriend John Cusack. Though I do think Google is catching on to my evil plan to make this news known to the world. I keep dropping in Google searches, but I’m determined to make this happen. I will not give up. Suckas!

And this is a little unrelated, but that’s how I role. Lately whenever I’m feeling down, The Weepies have been my turn to music. I am not a fan of the puppets in this video, but I love love this song. And pretty much all of their music… Check it, fools.

[There is a video that cannot be displayed in this feed. Visit the blog entry to see the video.]

Every once in a while though, I start to feel the angst building up in my soul and I know that putting it down on computer is the only way I can self-therapatize. (it’s a word in my head, for my head.) I used to use a paper journal for these kind of thoughts, but I kept leaving it places and that lead to more embarrassment than I  care to deal with these days. When I’m feeling this way, I usually type out a few emo-induced paragraphs and then erase it later when my mind is clear.  I’m not quite sure where this is going so there is a good chance that could happen today.

I guess I’ve been doing a lot of thinking the last few days. Really it’s probably been more like months, but I only let myself really work through this stuff every so often. I should probably get a therapist or a hamster to talk to or something so it doesn’t even happen even  this often.

A lot has changed for me in the last year. I was  recently thinking of what I was doing last year at this time, the way I was feeling… and it nearly made my brain spontaneously combust.

From the outside, maybe not much has changed. I still have most of the same friends, hang out at most of the same places, and I still have the same job. I still wake up questioning my decisions and the paths that I’ve chosen to take at this point in my life. I still get angry that some aspects in my life aren’t going the way that I would like. And I still don’t know where I’m headed.

But the more I think about it, I know that the past year has been a year of growth for me.

I’ve overcome some internal battles and come to terms with major changes in my life. I am learning to live a healthy life and to work through things in healthy way. I’m learning to choose my battles and to let things go. I know that I’ll always be a people pleaser, but sometimes it’s hard enough just to please myself, and that’s ok.

I cried a lot, but I laughed a lot too. I pretty much wear my emotions as a “kick me” sign on my back, and last year I took quite a few blows.

My family dynamic has changed. Relationships have changed. Friendships have changed.

I have changed.

What really surprises me is how so many of these things have worked themselves out without me even realizing it. Things that, just six months ago I thought  would plague me forever, have not completely disappeared…but I have somehow come to be at peace with them.

I thought these were all things that I would have to really work at, and in some respect, I do… but  for the most part this peace has come without effort.

Whenever people say “you learn from you mistakes,” it has always sort of gone in one ear and out the other.

I think I finally get it, though I’m not sure there even are mistakes.

I have learned from every experience, both happy and painful.  Situations rarely turn out the way I  intend or envision, and I’m learning that that’s ok.

I’ve shed some skin and I’m ready to keep on keepin on.

Even though I may not always take the right road, I know that eventually I’ll get there. And when I finally do- I’ll be a little smarter, a little tougher, and a much much better person.

(All the while with John Cusack by my side)

What in the hell Ouiser?? (I just googled this and found that this is not actually a quote from Steel Magnolias. So I’ve been quoting a non-existent quote for like 15 years? My bad!)

Aren’t we supposed to have flying cars and pet robots by now? Or at least a freaking hover board. But that would probably be just one more thing for me to get hurt on. Although if one is invented before I die, even if I am 98 years old- I swear I will complete my life long goal of hover boarding whilst holding on to the back of a car, a la Marty McFly.

I know you’ve already been reading 5 days worth of people posting about the new year and what-not, so sue me- I’ve been a huge blog slacker. I’ve been crazy-busy the last few weeks, livin and lovin life- but I promise that I will try to be a more dedicated this new year! I’m trying to think of where to even begin summarizing the last few weeks, and I’m not sure I can. I think my brain is still on vacation, so it’s probably a really good thing that I’m starting back with a “lite” post.

I’ll try.

A really really quick update on my last two weeks. If you are a facebook friend you probably already know most of this. And if you aren’t, well then you should be!!

Went to Waco for Christmas. Christmas shopped on the day before Christmas Eve. Snuggled with my Stella bear puppy dog who still smells of cow manure. Stella has become a farm dog living out at the farm with my dad for the last few months, and she loves that cow poo! Tried to not rip my ears off after a few hours of listening to my mom’s frickin cockatoo. Bought myself things I thought I needed but wouldn’t get for Christmas (like 500 Days of Summer, it was a must!) Went on a long walk with my dad and danced nearly the whole way. I like to dance on my walks. It’s also a fun and easy way to embarrass family members. Ate about 4 lbs of my dad’s home-made spicy beef Jerky. It’s the shits! Quite literally, I’m afraid… but it’s deliciously worth it. I seriously used to sell this stuff in high school. Ate about 20 lbs of other food. And then another 10 more the next day. At least I worked out that one time. Went to see Nine. meh. Which was really disappointing because there is nothing I love nothing more than a good musical.  Played some Croquet with the fam. Drank  A LOT of wine. Got woken up at 8 am on  Christmas morning by all my aunts and uncles Christmas caroling at the bedroom door. Met up with an old friend and watched some good movies. Went back to work for like 2 days. Went to Ft. Worth for New Years Eve. I drank a little and wore high heels, but came out of the night without a major head injury! Got a cold and spent 3 hours in the waiting room at Primacare. Had to listen to an old guy talk about the 9 loves of his life, and how he used to look just like Tony Danza. Went to my college town for yet another Sunday Funday!

I know you’ve been dying to know what I’ve been up to, so there you have it.

In other news, I’ve gotten a few hits lately from people google searching “John Cusack‘s girlfriend. YAHHHHOOOOOOOOO. So you know what this means don’t you? There is a possibility that I can get the whole internet to believe that I actually am, in fact, John Cusack’s girlfriend, and maybe he will find out about it and figure since the whole world already thinks we are together, he’ll say “what the heck I guess it’s time to settle down, I’m not getting any younger,” and then we’ll live happily ever after.

At least that’s how I imagine it happening.

And now- I’ll bring on the post its hosted by SupahMommy. For many more great post-its check out her blog!!

[There is a video that cannot be displayed in this feed. Visit the blog entry to see the video.]

And on a completely unrelated yet still I feel like posting it topic. I fucking love this song. I’ve had Ra Ra Riot’s album floating around on my ipod for a few months now, but usually just skip over them thinking they sound like Vampire Weekend wannabees. But after this song popped up a few days in a row, I figured I’d give then a proper chance… and yeah?! Ear candy! Like reeses peanut butter cups or something.

[There is a video that cannot be displayed in this feed. Visit the blog entry to see the video.]

*Scrubs is coming back on December 1!!!!

[There is a video that cannot be displayed in this feed. Visit the blog entry to see the video.]

Wait, rewind…. I don’t actually know how I really feel about this.

Let me backtrack a bit.

Have I mentioned my obsession with this show? It’s almost as big as my obsession with John Cusack if that tells you anything. I know it’s a show that people either love or hate, and I love love love it.  Or at least I did. Last season was supposed the last, but ABC decided to renew it last minute. Only it’s not the Scrubs that we know and loved seasons 1,2,3,4,5, and 8… Season 9 is basically supposed to be  a “New Class” version of the show. As I understand it, Zach Braff is only scheduled to be in a few of the episodes, and the focus is mostly on a group of med-students.

As much as I love this show, I’m not sure how I feel about them trying to stretch it out “Saved By the Bell” style. I think sometimes it’s just best to let good things die when they are still good. I’m not going to write it off completely, but I’m definitely on the fence. Plus, Scrubs creator Bill Lawrence has already given us Cougar Town this year, so I will still have that to be thankful for.

*This is semi-related, but that’s ok. In a Scrubs episode a while back, JD claimed that “So is your face” is the perfect comeback. I believe he said “So is your face, always makes sense.” As far as I am concerned, he was correct. I have been using “your face” in some form, as a comeback for everything  for at least three years now, and it hasn’t gotten old yet… at least not for me.

Check it:

An asshole: Ughh… You are always late!!

Me: Your face is always late…

An asshole: Your breath smells like turkey shiz.

Me: So does your face…

An asshole: Sphincter says what?

Me: So does your face…

See? Never fails.

*OK, this one is also related. I guess I could have written this as a normal post, but I’m not turning back now people.  Has anyone else noticed how many famous people are doing voice-overs for commercials lately? I get a little distracted every time I hear Zach Braff’s voice doing the new Brita water commercials. He also did the puppy’s voice in the Cottenelle commercials a while back. Don’t get me wrong, I get a little excited in all the right places every time I hear his voice, but I don’t understand why companies get famous people to do their voice work for commercials. I doubt people who aren’t major fans even recognize them, and it seems it would be a lot cheaper to get lesser known people to voice them.

*Back when I didn’t have cable and watched nothing and Scrubs episodes on DVD, I got so used to hearing Zach Braff’s voice narrate the show-that he basically started doing it for me in my head. I didn’t mind a bit. The only person I would rather have do the job is Morgan Freeman.

*I know it’s a little bit early (37 days til Christmas, but who’s counting?)  but I’m really excited about the holidays. I love putting up a tree and decorations. I love Christmas scented candles. And I love holiday movies.  I’m not even the least bit embarrassed admitting to the world that I’ve seen every Lifetime and ABC family Christmas movie that has come out in the last 10 years. Not to mention the count on the classics like “Its a Wonderful Life,” “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation,” “A Christmas Story,” and “A Charlie Brown Christmas.”

But if you’re a real Scrubs Christmas fan, surely you’ve seen this?!

[There is a video that cannot be displayed in this feed. Visit the blog entry to see the video.]

*For those of you still reading, I promise I’m done with the Scrubs talk. I pinky promise. Now I’m just gonna straight up bitch for a second! My roommates have decided to see how long we can go before we turn the heat on this winter. I know, yes it’s true, I live in Texas. It probably won’t snow once this season… but still. It’s cold to me! There is nothing that I hate more than waking up so cold that I can’t get out of bed. If this goes on for much longer, I will definitely need to take action. Please let me know if you have any ideas.

*My roomies have also taken to making or buying deserts at least once a week. This week they made homemade pumpkin pie. My waistline, my sleep schedule, my trainer, and my back right cavity molar all hate you right now. But my heart is happy.

*I am going to take a moment to complain once more about my face. I’m 27 years old. I have always been one of those people who could boast “I never wash my face, and I never get pimples.” I am now eating my words in a major way.

Image via Wikipedia

*If there is anyone in the world with whom I have an obsession that even comes close to that of John Cusack, it is Zach Braff. And also, I am a liar.

Lilu is out of town for a while, but she has provided us with a series of very special TMI Thursday post secret posts. Make sure to check them out…. And for more TMI than you could ever imagine, check out her TMI archives!

I’m doing TMI a little different this week. I have a friend “Moops” who has asked several times for me to talk about him on my blog.

Well sir, I’ll do better than that. You have officially been email roasted. TMI Thursday style.

The following are emails that I copied straight from an email  conversation that happened yesterday afternoon.

I wrote the first email to a group of my friends when I realized I was having a difficult time coming up with a post for today. Moops spent the better part of the afternoon traveling all over the country for work, so didn’t get to check his email until the damage had been done.

Luckily, he’s a good sport. (I hope.)

Hey friends,

Moops has been wanting me to talk about him in my blog for a while… As I am completely brain dead today,I was thinking that you guys could help me out with thinking of a good story.

I know there must be many stories out there that I could tell that would be considered TMI about our friend in question.

The first one that first comes to mind…

Remember when we were calmly talking in the living room, and out of nowhere Moops reached down his pants, into his butt hole and then proceeded to stick his fingers in my mouth???! Just because ” he had an urge!!!”

I almost had to kill myself by ingesting bleach.

I got him back on the river trip though. heeeheehehee

You got anything better?

____________________________________________________________

RE: TMI

FROM: SCUBA

This happened,

Outside the Coventry Apts. Justin met our across the hall neighbors in his tighty whitees.  He then helped the girl carry groceries from her car up flight of stairs in his undees.  He then slipped on the very top concrete stair and all of the groceries went flying out of the sack.  He was bleeding and scrounging for groceries in front of our new girl neighbor in his undees.  Her boyfriend then shows up as this is going on.

________________________________________________________________________

RE:TMI

FROM: CARISSA JADE

Orrrr……….Maybe I should switch gears and tell about the time Scuba pooed his pants. I was such a nice friend and told him I would do his laundry for him. I almost died when I saw the skid lake underwear in the laundry basket.

_______________________________________________________________________

RE: TMI

FROM: LA

How about the time Moops puked on my couch then had to be taken to bed? Fast forward three hours and he comes storming down the stairs yelling at me me. Upon his return back up the stairs he proceeds to trip and stumble back down to the bottom. To top it off, he jumps up, glares and points his finger at me and says, “Yoooooooouuuuuuu”!

_______________________________________________________________________

RE: TMI

FROM: KT

I have a quick couple…

How about the time Moops decided to tell us about his love for couches. He loves them so much that he use to have sex with them, sad but true. Moops use to masturbate by inserting his junk between couch cushions and go to town!

Or how bout the time we went to we walked into an apt. party of people we didn’t even know and Moops drank too much and as usual stripped down to his tightee whitees and the people were so put off they asked us to leave. We do and Moops begins to laugh. Of course we ask “what are you laughing at?” He then pulls out the tube of toothpaste he was so proud to have stolen. His grand revenge for getting kicked out was stealing toothpaste…

Then there is the time that Moops really impressed me. I had just moved in below him and had spoken with him a few times. My roommates were out so I went to go say hi. Moops opens the door and is unquestionably shit faced. We are watching T.V. and I’m telling him a story when he stops me and says “hold on.” He then leans over and pukes the smelliest blach puke onto his carpet, nearly getting it on his boy dog “Jager.” When done he looks at me and says “ok, go on.” Without blinking an eye! Bless his heart!

And then of course there is the time that he asked my somewhat crazy ex-bff to trim his pubes. She then convinces him that he should be blind folded for the event. She did this so pictures could be taken without him knowing. Blindfolded, naked, and holding a beer, Moops let this crazy woman near his manhood with a pair of scissors in her hand! Don’t worry she didn’t hurt him, she just trimmed, but it did make for interesting pics….

__________________________________________________________________________

RE:TMI

FROM: CARISSA JADE

HAHAHA I forgot about some of these! Speaking of the puking (not that there aren’t already enough puking stories) I just remembered about the time that I woke up to find a pile of puke at the foot of my bed. That fool woke up in the middle of the night, stuck his head over the foot of the bed, and then straight up went back to sleep.

The funny thing about that night that he stole the toothpaste, is that I’m pretty sure that was the same night we may or may not have dipped someone’s toothbrush and razors into the toilet. Oops.

Oh. And my favorite… (which really needs it’s own post) The night he peed my bed, thank goodness I was on the futon that night (poor shae) That wasn’t really even the bad part. He took the down comforter home and promised to wash it. Three weeks later I go to his loft and that thing was was in his closet with all the other “clean” blankets… and sure nufff …it had never been washed.

And KT. When you get a chance, you must send me those pube cutting pics. I have no idea what happened to my copy. I know it was in my glove compartment for a while- though I have absolutely no idea as to why…

______________________________________________________________________

RE:TMI

FROM: MOOPS

Wow, all of this makes me sound like a really great guy!  I’ll get abnoxiously drunk, puke, piss your bed, might fuck your couch and I might ask you to get some of those hard to reach pubes.  I want to hang out with me!!

Scuba,  speaking of fucking things this one is for you…

I believe this story epitomizes TMI.  This came out of one of those story telling sessions where everyone was boozed up enough to share stories from their sexual past, the story didn’t necessarily have to involve another person, solo acts were admissible.  I’m on a plane and I don’t want the guy next to me to see what I’m writing so I have to make it quick.

So it begins, Scuba, the horny young thing that he was went about the house looking for objects he could have intercourse with, nothing too disturbing or out of the ordinary yet, right?  On his quest for pleasure a furry young thing catches his eye, why of course, what better sexual companion than your favorite over stuffed teddy bear (it might have been a panda).  But hmmm, how to make this lustful encounter logistically possible?  Cut a hole in it!  With near surgical precision (I’m sure) Scuba proceeds to cut a hole ample enough to receive his penis.  Then,  he fucked the teddy bear.

The funniest part is that his mom found the stuffing from the procedure; he told her that a kid down the street went into a rage and stabbed his bear.  So to this day if that neighbor kid is ever mentioned his mom says something to the effect of “ oh that so and so , he’s the one who stabbed your poor teddy.”

_______________________________________________________________________

RE: TMI

FROM: KT

It was a cow and he shared that story the same night you shared you love for couch cushions

_____________________________________________________________

RE: TMI

FROM: CARISSA JADE

hahaha ok, thanks guys. I’m gonna have to use all of this…

______________________________________________________________________________

Oh yes, in case you were wondering… my friends definitely put the ass in class. Have a wonderful day!