Because I’m an unconventional weido- let’s work our way backwards through the weekend.

Last night was Red Carpet Crash’s “Dallas Big Gold Statue Watching Party,” and it was so good to see some of the local blogger gals there. Shine, Natalie, and Sketch all looked absolutely gorgeous in their fancy dresses. I basically wanted to lick all of their faces. I was also so happy that  Moops and Shae-Shae made an appearance. I worked the VIP table most of the night, and besides the fact that I made the mistake of wearing 5 inch heels, I had the time of my life.

I cried about a million times during the show and not because most of my favorites didn’t win, I think that all the winners were quite deserving. That being said, Jeff Bridges- fuck .yeah. You rock my world, sir. He does. I dunno what exactly it is about him, but he warms my soul.

You will all be quite happy, or if not happy- completely dumbfounded to know that I actually got quite a bit of unpacking done on Friday night. Actually I stayed up until 5am in the morning with the scary ghosts organizing my closet.  Woohoo yay me. I still haven’t hung up anything on the walls or made any sort of attempt to detangle my jewlery, but I still feel pretty proud of myself.

Friday night I did some karaoke and probably scared a million people away, nuff said…
And now for a few post-its… For more amazing post its -check out Supah Mommy’s page!!!

I’m a talker. Especially once I get a little booze flowing through my blood. My friend (and soon to be once-again roomie) LA is also a talker.

Talker + talker+being really good friends=ridiculous conversations that a third party often cannot comprehend.

So the other night I met up with my friends LA and AW, and AW got to witness once again how when we get started talking- hilarious, incomprehensible conversation can ensue.

I guess he was really lost on what we were discussing, but rather than interrupt, he decided to take notes on some of the random quotes and bits of conversation so that he could ask about them later.

Today I received an email with his “notes,” on our conversation. I’m not sure if this will be as amusing to you as it was to me, but I figured I’d share and try to justify these little notes of his.

- She uses big words like…insatiable.

That’s all LA. When I’m drinking, I’m lucky if I can even say insatiable. I’m not sure what this word was used to describe. Quite possibly it was my insatiable thirst for wine. Or my insatiable thirst for John Cusack. Or maybe it was LA’s insatiable thirst for using big words like insatiable. Either way, I’m curious… can other words besides “thirst” be used after the word insatiable? Because I’m pretty sure the only word I ever use after insatiable is “thirst.”

- LA and CM talk about a lot of different stuff.

Ummmm yes we do… great observation though…

- What is a doppelganger?

Somebody obviously hasn’t spent enough time on Facebook the last couple weeks!! OK, I’m not too sure either.  Apparently it means an actor/actress that you wish that you looked like. Or that you had a dream about. Or maybe someone that if you were gay, you would totally go for…. because I saw quite a few really pretty famous people as my friends profile pictures. I was going to put up Frida Kahlo as my doppelganger, because of the mustache and all…

- Who is Nora?

So speaking of “doppelgangers,” I know I’ve mentioned like 30 times the night LA and I  hung out with Joshua Radin‘s band and I made out with the drummer… Well, it turns out they had been on tour with a certain Grammy winner in the past whom they desperately wanted to name drop.

Drummer boy: Oh my gosh.. wow, you look just like my friend Nora.

Me: ummm ok?

Drummer boy: NO really!!! Hey “bassist!!” Doesn’t she look just like Nora.

Bassist boy: ummm… I guess so? A little?

Drummer boy: Yeah, you smile like her. **nudge nudge You know Nora right? My good friend Nora Jones??

Me: ummm right.. (but make out with me lovah boy)

- Why wouldn’t they up-play that shit and get with high up girls instead of downplay that shit and get with us?

I’m not sure which one of us genius’s muttered this intelligent comment, but I’d put a million thousand bucks on the fact that it was me. In fact I distinctly remember repeating it at least three times so AW could write it down.

It’s simple really, but I’ll put it into English for you

Why wouldn’t they use their semi-level of faux-fame to get into nice bars where they could meet girls who would buy their starving artist-asses drinks, rather than hang out with 2 girls who took them to the dive-iest (Adairs) bar in Dallas, and needed all of our drinks bought for us?

- Whoa whoa…so this is the night you bled on ____’s bed right???

I’m not sure why this particular story was brought up… maybe we were discussing something similar that happened to one of us more recently but I’m not sure if that even happened. It is actually a story that I have already shared with you…

-Carissa! I look at porn sites ALLLL the time! Are you kidding me?

I think this one is pretty self explanatory. I think AW just wanted to write this note to put in his spank bank for later.

-Let’s talk about love.

OK this one was all me. But before you write me off as some cheese-poof who likes to “talk about love” with her girlfriend’s on a Friday night over a bottle of wine- let me explain. I was trying to think of a story for this show I’m doing that has “love” theme. Since my experiences with “love” aren’t, for the most part, romantic… what we talked about next was all sorts of funny and also kind of sad.

-That’s what real rappers do, playa!!!

Have I told you yet of my dreams of being a world-renowned rap-star? Well, I have them. I know it will never happen, but I even have a rap-star alter ego named Kimbernisha. You’ll have to meet her one day. Anyway, I told you yesterday how I went to see Four Day Weekend’s comedy show. I loved it all… except for the part where they rapped. Don’t get me wrong, they did a great job improvising rap, but there moves were a little lacking. Ever since I saw Timbaland last week, I’ve been spending much of my down-time trying to imitate the rapper’s groove, which I demonstrated to my friends before I made this comment.

-Rap just got me off!

Yeah, I got really into that shiz!! I mean not literally, but I was really spent afterward.

___

In other news, I want give a shout out to one of my favorite blogs who is ending his project soon. If you haven’t checked out the 100 girls-100days project, I implore that you do so now. I’m really sad that it’s almost over. Start from the beginning and read your way through. That’s the way I do it. He may seem like kind of a dick at first, but overall, the dude seems really genuine and he’s extremely addicting.

Oh and tonight we have our Dallas happy hour!!! I’m so excited to meet some of my favorite bloggers in person!! WOOHOO!!

Anyhow, I really have been enjoying reading the “Post It” Tuesdays, but really don’t think I could condense my bitching into a single post it note even if I tried. Though I would love to try if someone would be willing to tell me where you get these “post its.”

I guess for now I’ll just go with “slightly longer than a post it note Tuesday.”

___________________________________

Dear bloggers who do post-it Tuesdays,

How do I do this? And by how, I mean where do you get the post it’s? I’m sure it is very simple, but I am computer illiterate.

Please and thank you,

Wants to be a member of the cool kids post-it club

________________________________

My beloved dog Stella,

As much as I love you and love to cuddle, I cannot really be expected to do so when you smell like sour milk. I am not sure whether or not you have been sprayed by a skunk out there in the country, or if you have been purposely rolling around in cow patties all day, but either way… your scent has become intolerable. Even after putting you through the struggle of a bath, you have continued to smell of rotten cow carcus. I have no choice but to exile you from my bed.

Your ex-cuddle bear,

Cold at night

___________________________________

My bathroom,

Please get your shit together.The bottom of the toilet has been leaking for weeks, my make up drawer is straight up hanging there by a tiny piece of wood, and the shower takes about an hour to drain. I try to treat you with respect and you just keep on making my life more difficult. I really can’t afford the time or effort needed to call a plumber or to fix your problems myself.

I suppose will take blame for pouring the hot wax down the sink causing it to get clogged,

Mistook hot wax in a candle burner for hot oil!!

_________________________________

Dear Pizza Hut Delivery guy,

How dare you?? My sister, my dad and I drove around for over an hour looking for a pizza place that was open on Thanksgiving night. We finally gave up and settled on Denny’s.  Precisely 2 minutes after I ordered my biscuits and gravy, you walked in holding a stack of warm, fresh, pizzas. My Thanksgiving was already on the shitty side, and you had to come in and rub your deliciousness in my  face.

Shame on you,

Didn’t need it anyway

___________________________

To screenwriter J. Michael Straczynski,

I hear that you been given the task of writing both the remake for Forbidden Planet as well as the very anticipated screenplay adaptation of World War Z. Don’t fucking blow it. Please.

Trying hard not to judge you by your work on Ninja Assassin,

Film nerd

__________________________

Dear purse,

I know people talk shit about the state in which I keep you. I do it for both of our own good. One of these days I will be able to fulfill my master plan of being able to pay rent from the change that collects at the bottom of you. Either that or spend an entire day playing Photohunt and Tic-Tac Trivia at the bar.

-Doing everything for a reason.

____________________________

Impulse buy facial mask,

You promised to moisturize my skin while leaving it more firm and with less wrinkles. As far as I can tell you are a scented wet paper towel with holes cut out for the eyes and mouth. Speaking of the holes, the ones on your masks are not designed to fit the facial structure of any human. I can’t get it to stay on  my face unless I lie down, and frankly, I feel it made me look like the dude from Silence of the Lambs.

Why did I buy 6 of you!?

-Buyers remorseful

______________________________

Dear Kitchen,

Thank you for letting us destroy you this weekend in a massive food fight. That was the most awesome time I ever had in our house, though I’ll never be able to eat off your counters again without imagining smears of gravy and mashed potatoes.

Sorry, (not)

Still has potatoes in her hair

I know everyone is all in the Thanksgiving mood and getting ready to get in the Christmas spirit, but since Hobby Lobby has had their Christmas decorations up for four months now, I figure I’d better go ahead and get a head start on New Years.

2 years ago my New Years Resolution was to be less  of a flake (which was mostly a success) and last year I decided to be more committed to appreciating the culture of my city, (at which I miserably failed.) This year I have been wanting to have another go at inner-self improvement, but I had been having a difficult time figuring out what I would like to improve, until recently.

Actually, there have been a few things that have made me realize that there is something about myself that I want to change. I feel like all the signs are pointing to it, and maybe January 1st is the time to do so (or maybe I’ve already started.) Either way, I should really do something about it for the better.

I think I need to be a little less snobby.

Wait, wait! Don’t get the wrong idea… It’s not like I go around judging everyone or anything. And I want to change!!!

I don’t think I’m better than anyone, quite the opposite actually…I’m not the smartest person, I don’t have the nicest things, I’m not the funniest, I’m not the best at anything really, and I’m ok with that!! It’s just that I sometimes feel… like I might have the best taste in all things in the world!

I’m talking everything! I love the best movies, music, T.V. shows, vintage clothing, comedy… Don’t even try to tell me otherwise, because you’re wrong.

My friends have been telling me for years that my taste is not the end all be all of tastes, and that is fine. I don’t love my friends any less because they aren’t obsessed with the Beatles, or because they don’t like to sing Meatloaf at karaoke, or because their favorite movie is Drive Me Crazy (I love you  Amber,) or because they like Grey’s Anatomy.  It honestly doesn’t bother me that my close friends don’t all share my same interests, as long as there are some people out there with which I can have a common bond of my favorite things. And as long as my friends realize that though they may hold different opinions that me, mine are far superior.

I think I’ve already told y’all that this weekend my sister and I went to go to see “Where the Wild Things Are.” We have seen probably a million movies together in our lifetime, and the same thing always happens. Every time I am finding myself grinning with pleasure or laughing my ass off,  I look over at my sister and my heart fills with dismay when I see that she isn’t having the same reaction. After this particular movie I started to grill her, just as I always do.

CJ: “Sooo.. Didnt you LOVE it!? Oh my gosh, I really liked it!!”

Sis: “Yeahh… I mean… it was alright…”

CJ: “Um… ALRIGHT??? You do realize that was a Spike Jonze movie don’t you??? The same guy who directed Adaptation, the best movie of ALL time!! And even if it wasn’t the BEST movie in the world, you had to have enjoyed it…. You enjoyed it didn’t you ??? You didn’t even laugh once!”

Sis: ” Yeah… I told you… it was ok, just not my favorite! And I didn’t think it was funny…”

CJ: “Well!! You obviously have no taste!! You don’t think ANYTHING is funny! I bet you don’t even like Steve Martin!”

And then she let me have it.

She told me that just because I like something doesn’t mean everyone else does, (duh) and that sometimes it comes across rude when I try to push my passions on other people…

CJ: So I guess it’s also rude when I get really mad  when I’m trying to make someone watch a Kids in the Hall sketch and they would rather read a magazine?”

Sis: Rude.

CJ:And also when I make every one in the car be quiet so that they can hear the lyrics to Wilco or Joshua Radin and make them give me their interpretation…?

Sis: Rude.

CJ: And when I make everyone be quiet in the car so they can listen to my impression of Bob Dylan singing every song that comes on the radio?

Sis: That’s just annoying. Especially after the first 2 songs. And you don’t sound like Bob Dylan.

I thought about this for a while, and when writing my post yesterday, I realized that I have always been pushy about the things I enjoy… especially to my closest friends and family members. I have come to the conclusion that I really want to have a more open mind… and I really think you guys (bloggers) are already helping.

I feel like I’m really getting to know some of you, and you’ve really given me the opportunity to open my eyes to things that I normally wouldn’t have given a time of day. Sometimes I’m so surprised when I feel like I know a lot about who you are, and then you reveal something new that I never would have expected, and I love you more for it! And since I do, I accept that maybe my opinion isn’t  superior (maybe.) I’ve realized that if I just shut up and read about other people’s passions, mine aren’t the only ones that matter.

So basically, what I’m trying to say, is that I am so very thankful for each and everyone of you that I have gotten to know the last few months. Even the people that I haven’t corresponded with, you’ve helped me expand my horizons a ton! I feel like I have learned so much and I can’t wait to gain an even more open mind with each day!! (Can I have some wine with my cheese?) But seriously.

Now I just have to apply my new found open mind to real life…

And while we are on the subject,  Kim over at Perfectly Cursed Life has begun a tradition that I absolutely love, the annual “Thank You for Blogging” award, designed to honor bloggers that you are thankful for.  I recently handed out awards, and her rules are you have to hand it out to at least 4 other bloggers, so I’m going to keep this right at that… though I would hand this out to a zillion people if I could stay awake.

First off, if you haven’t checked out Kim’s blog, do it now. She definitely has a way with words, and has a way with being funny, while also making ya think! What I’m trying to say, is she hits you in all the right places.

I’ve only recently come across Beckeye over at The Pop Eye, but if you have an interest in anything pop culture… she is a must! Before I started a blog, I spent all of my internet time on film and music sites, and I’m so happy to have found a mix of everything I love on one little site!

I’ve said it before, but Meg at Lost in Thought is easily one of my favorite bloggers ever. I feel like whenever I read her posts, I am taken away in a whimsical land… and just when she gets me going all sentimental, I laugh my ass off. Loves this girl!!

I’d also like to pass this on to Dani over at She Laughs too Easily and Cries too Loud. Always hilarious, always poignant…. and I just don’t have enough good words to say about this lady! Check her out!

OK one more, Tricia at One Step To Recovery. You already know that I love you to pieces, but for everyone else, check out this girl’s blog!! I go crazy when she doesn’t update!  She is hilarious and says it like it is… Trust me, you will love her!!

I’m not sure I’ll be around tomorrow, (could surprise ya!) But I figured I’d leave you with this!

Happy Thanksgiving!

This is the only old pic of me with a headdress on where I don't look stupid. Bahahaha!

Anyway, back to you… I am hoping I will eventually catch up to all 900 or so unread posts on my reader… but I’m thinking it may take a while.

This weekend was kind of insane. On Saturday I got to catch up with a bunch of my college sorority friends at a baby shower.  (Love you Lydia and little Oliver who will be born sometime in the next 10 days) I’m usually terrified of situations that have anything to do with babies… mostly because babies scare the hell out of me. But besides the slight panic attack that I had in Babies R Us whilst trying to get someone to help me figure out what a Diaper depot was and where in this freak house of miniature things it might be found, I had a pretty rockin time.

I got all Martha Stewart on your asses and even made cream cheese tortilla rolls for the second event this month. I completely forgot to add salsa, which is apparently a major ingredient, but no one  said anything if they noticed.

I think the most shocking moment for everyone was probably when I held one of my friend’s babies. I did have to sit down first in the style of a 10 year old… but it wasn’t even such a terrifying experience. I actually really liked holding her. I had to admit  that babies are kind of cute and soft and I kind of started wanting to eat her up… or at least pet her obsessively. That came out a lot creepier than I meant it. What I’m trying to say is that- while I still don’t have baby fever in any way shape or form, maybe I shouldn’t be so scared of hanging out with my mommy friends a little more often.

We also drank a whole lot of champagne. I haven’t been to many baby showers, but I am quickly finding out that they even though the preggers guest of honor can’t drink, it’s perfectly appropriate for everyone else to. Afterward, a few of us hit the streets of our college town, and basically didn’t stop until around 10:30 on Sunday night. We gave Sunday Funday a whole new meaning, which basically led to a pretty miserable Monday. Except for one part…

Yeah I know what you’re thinking, because I was thinking it to.

With all these Oscar-worthy movies coming out in the last week or so, why would I go see Roland Emmerich prove to the world that his dick is smaller than Michael Bay’s?

For one, I had to get at least one more popcorn-blockbuster-type movie in before I start spending most of my free time in the Angelika, watching foreign and arthouse-ish type films through January.

Also, I actually like really really like end-of -the-the-world-shit-blowing-up-disaster type films. Who doesn’t? If you say you didn’t like Independence Day, I’m so calling bullshit. And not just because Bill Pullman pretty much made the sexiest-voiced president ever in a film. These type of movies do exactly what they set out to do, and that is to entertain and get you excited. Yeah yeah yeah, I admit that it was essentially one near death experience after another, but it definitely kept me on my toes. I spontaneously decided to forgo the gym and go see it by myself after work, but if someone would have been with me I probably would have spent the second half of the movie punching them in the arm.

I was planning on writing a full-on movie review, but I knew what that would turn into…

A post about nothing except for my love for John Cusack, and that can get old really fast. Just ask anyone that knows me in real life.

But seriously. I love the man… skewed political opinions and all. I don’t know what it is about this guy, but just seeing him on the screen makes me all giddy and butterflies in the stomach and all that nonsense that the thirteen year old me felt when opening up a Tiger Beat magazine that featured a pin up of Brad Renfro.

In complete honesty, I would probably love any movie that this man was in, (with the exception of The Contract, because that movie just sucked balls) and I completely blame John Cusack for the fact that I have spent the better part of my life single. How can a girl settle down with someone unless he shows up at your window with a boom-box and professes his love to through the musical stylings of Peter Gabriel? I’m still waiting!

And the thing that gets me the most about him is that he’s just so damn average. He’s good looking in a “guy that you see in your local grocery store” sort of way…  He usually plays these average down and out cynical characters, that are passionate about books and movies and music… but the dude always wins… and you really want him to.

2012 is no exception. I would much rather see the John Cusack continuously narrowly escape being blasted by fire balls and falling into the earth than Brad Pitt or George Clooney. You know they’ll escape. I would rather watch John Cusack do anything on the screen. Speaking of my favorite award night of the year, how has this man never been nominated?

See what I’ve done here? And I must stop. Mostly because I may need to change my panties.

Don’t be surprised if the next time you come here there is John Cusack wallpaper on my background. I will go there.

But until then… I’ve missed you and go see 2012!!! Now!