Well first of all, I’m finally trying to follow through on a New Years Resolution I made back in 2008…. then again in 2009. I gave up making resolutions in 2010, but now I’m determined to give it another shot.

For the last 10 years I’ve lived in the Dallas area, and I’ve never really given the city a chance. I mean… I’d venture out beyond my neighborhood for the odd concert or karaoke bar, but for the most part -I’d long ago written it off as being void of culture, and have said time and again that the most notable thing that this city has going for it is the unbelievable number of Douchengoyles and $30,000 millionaires. The plan has always been to work here in DFW as long as I needed to in order to save a little bit of money, and then to take off for Chicago or New York…

But a few years ago it became clear that I wasn’t going to get discovered on a street corner, and I’m not currently motivated enough to find a job that allows me to live beyond paycheck to paycheck, much less save for a plane ticket to a far away land… Plus, it dawned on me that I really like being in a city where I know people. . I realized that just as I am sometimes quick to deem a girl driving a BMW a bitch or a guy wearing a graphic tee as a douche canoe (which, is actually usually true) I had prematurely judged Dallas as being boring and industrial, with nothing to offer. That’s when I made the decision to make friends with Dallas, to really get to know this city before I pass complete judgment on it.

After college, I interned at the then start-up newspaper Pegasus News, where my “job” consisted of driving around to different neighborhoods and trying to gather information on local restaurants, bars, and entertainment venues for our database, so I already had a vague notion that there was more out there south of Denton and Plano. The last few years I made several attempts at exploring some of these places, but it wasn’t until the last 3 months or so that I’ve really made a conscious effort to delve into my local culture.

I won’t go into detail now, but I will say that I owe a lot of my recent discoveries to twitter, and also the fact that the guy I’ve been dating lives right in the middle of Deep Ellum so it makes it a lot easier when you don’t have to go too far. In the last few weeks I’ve spent some time at local museums, historical hotels, dive bars and comedy clubs, and I’ve been surprised at how much I’ve enjoyed myself. I really wish I would have embraced this fine city years ago. But more than anything else, I’ve really gotten into some of the local music, which to be honest I wasn’t aware existed much outside of Denton. Last week we went to the Dallas Observer Music Award Showcase and had a freaking blast of a time.

My favorite show of the night just happened to coincide with my most recent obsession, and ummmm.. you might know by now what happens when I get obsessionated.

I discovered the Dallas duo  Smile Smile a while back and haven’t listened to much else since. Their new album “Truth on Tape” (that’s the link to purchase on itunes!)  is the best $10.00 I’ve spent in a while, and simultaneously makes me want to laugh and cry. Smile Smile’s is made up of Ryan and Jencey, who were once engaged.. which makes their amazing music and their undeniable chemistry  even more interesting. There’s nothing I love more in the world than genuine music that I can dance to.  Check it.

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Also they are super nice and posed for pics after the show. I know. I’m such a fan girl.

Ryan from Smile Smile!

Smile Smile band (my lazy eye comes out when I'm drunk)

I really can’t talk about local bands without mentioning my other current fave, Sleeperstar. I grew up with their bassist, and had no idea until fairly recently how much they rocked. I cannot wait to see these guys in person, and you really have no excuse for not checking them out. They are pretty much guaranteed to be the next big thing. Love.

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Here is a link to their album on itunes!

As you can see I’ve neglected my blog for perfectly good reasons. I mean, what is a better way to spend time than singing and dancing your heart out?

Speaking of, I’ve also invested a little bit of time into So You Think You Can Dance. As if you’re surprised.  I’m so torn on this season. Every season before I’ve had an absolute favorite. Now I’m not so sure, but I think I’ve decided to route for Robert, because.. umm.. HELLO!!!

Mostly he just kind of sort of reminds me of Mark from a couple of seasons ago. You know, the weird one who wore guyliner but was absofreakin amaze-balls at everything he did? Here’s a little refresher. Sit back and prepare to wipe some drool from your lips.. or maybe I’m a freak.

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*please note, I will now be using sarcasm. I wasn’t using sarcasm when talking about SYTYCD. It IS awesome. It doesn’t really work when I have to point that out, does it?

Besides watching and re-watching quality television, I’ve also seen a few incredibly awesome movies. Like just this week I caught an Emilio Estevez (The Mighty Duck Guy, I swear to God!) classic called Freejack.How this movie didn’t win an Oscar I will never know. And such good special effects. Have a mentioned the acting? Uh-maze-ing.

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And next up? Well I can hardly contain my excitement for this one…

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Alrighty, I’m out just like Lindsay Lohan’s about to be. Happy weekend!

I used to be the kind of girl that watched all sorts of shows. In high school, I had a daily line up of TV that I would “just die” if I missed. Daily, I would leave giant notes on the kitchen table, reminding my father to push record on the VCR at precisely 7:00pm so that I would get to watch “Beverly Hills 90210,” “Party of 5,” (I would have done ANYTHING to be a Salinger) “Friends,” or “Felicity.” I would rush home from dance class to catch up on “Dawson’s Creek” and “Louis and Clark Superman.” Every Tuesday night I was glued to the TV to catch the latest episode  of “Buffy.” I even managed to schedule my classes so that I could be home to watch the daily disaster of a soap that was “Passions.”

It was only recently that I realized that most of my friends still have their TV rituals… and I do not. Oh there are a few shows that I still watch and enjoy when I manage to catch them (usually on TIVO,) but there aren’t any that I would change my schedule around to watch.

Yesterday as I was eating dinner, I sat down to watch the second episode of “Parenthood.” I had managed to catch the first episode (on TIVO) and had really enjoyed it. About five minutes or so into the episode I got up to check my email, and never came back. I thought about it a few times, but finally decided that I would rather watch “Star Trek” for the 14th time than get involved in a TV show. Even as I was clear in my decision, it bugged me. Why wouldn’t I give this perfectly adequate show a chance?

And then it dawned on me. I have developed a relationship pattern with television that is nearly identical to the relationship pattern that I have with men.

When I was young and care free, I fell in love easily. I would watch any old show that came along, and I would watch it with passion. The shows that I watched didn’t have much depth, but that didn’t matter. All that mattered was that they entertained me. Most of the shows that I watched in high school, ironically ended about the same time that I graduated. Either that, or I lost interest when I moved away and didn’t have cable. It was the first time I realized that shows ended. That made sad. I grew up with those programs. I learned from them, both literally and figuratively. Then they were just gone, some without warning, leaving a big empty gap in my life.

Some of the shows that I watched in high school ended up in syndication, which kept my interest for a while until they became redundant. Eventually I quit watching them all together as my taste in television began to change.

I had to try out a few different genres before I really figured out what interested me. There was a time when I was all about the drama. I liked the shows that would leave me with a cliff-hanger, having to wait a full week to see what would happen next. There was a very short amount of time when I really liked the trashy shallowness that reality shows had to offer. For a while,  I was even really taken with educational programming, and stayed glued to TLC and The Animal Planet, for no other reason but because sometimes it feels good to spend time with someone who watching a show that can teach you a little something. Eventually they all bored me.

Then I found myself in a long pattern of falling for the more “quirky” types of shows like “Mr Show” and “Greg the Bunny.” I became obsessed with “Arrested Development,” and  “Freaks and Geeks.” They were the unconventional types of shows that didn’t interest everyone, but I saw that they had something from the beginning. It took me a while, (probably right around the time that Pushing Daisies got canceled) before I realized the fundamental problem with these types of shows. For whatever reason, lack of self-promotion or maybe self confidence -these shows never last. They almost always leave me are canceled within 2 or 3 seasons, leaving me without any sort of closure.

I have finally gotten to the point where I am afraid of falling for a show and investing my time in it. I’m scared that as soon as I do, it will go off the air, leaving me wandering what would have happened next.  Even the shows that that I love that I have been more been more faithful to like “Scrubs” eventually become finicky. I  hear one week that they have been canceled, only to be renewed at the last minute, and eventually they will completely jump the shark. (God Bless you “Scrubs.”)

I think I finally know what I’m looking for. I want the whole package… something that is,  for the most part- thought-provoking, funny, and with just enough drama to keep me interested. The problem is that you actually have to invest a little time into something to know for sure if that’s what you have, and that is down right frightening to me. I know that I will never find a show that I love if I never turn on the TV. I also know that no show is perfect, but there is bound to be a television show out there that would appeal to me long term.

Maybe it’s time that I end this ridiculously long metaphorical post and go watch that second episode of “Parenthood.” Although please believe me when I  tell you that you should read no further into the title of that show. I was talking about boys here, not babies.

I’m not a fan of ending a post with a question, but have you ever felt this way? and how do you people get over this (for lack of better word) jaded-ness?

You know how when you’re down- people start talking your ear, and your ass, and your face off about how if you have a positive attitude good things will start happening?

It reminds me of this corporate job I used to have that was probably the most boring/yet fun/ at least I had health insurance – where they made us watch this “Fish training video”, that was supposed to teach us to choose your attitude. If you haven’t been forced to sit through “Fish Training” -it basically is about these dudes in Seattle who work with smelly, slimy fish all day and LOVE IT because they get to throw fish around to each other and entertain people even though they smell of 27 day old underwear.  I don’t remember the details, but I do remember that they said the phrase “choose your attitude” about fifty bajillion times. At the time, all it made me do was buy a big bag of yummy Swedish fish and try to hit my unsuspecting co-workers in the head with them. And that WAS fun. Kind of.

Sooooo…I spent the majority of last week moping around the house listening to the Grizzly Bear’s and Elliot Smith’s most depressing songs, and purposely slow-walking through the rain (ever notice John Cusack does that in pretty much every movie?) because sometimes it just feels good to wallow in depression. Or not good, but if you’re already there, you might as well make a movie in your head about it.

After I got tired of being wet and cold and mocking Kristen Stewart’s facial expressions-I finally was like, What in the name of Oprah are you doing? Dude. Life is good. Being all passive aggressive and fifteen-year old angsty about shiz that you probably don’t even really care about and won’t matter 2 weeks from now, is just… donkey shit. Life can be hard, families have problems, and work and boys can both suck… Get over it.

Except this face looks more like someone might be following her...

The truth is, when I get like this- more than anything, I find that I’m just bored with life and so I start creating drama in my brain to spend my time obsessing over. At least I can admit that I am an emotional cutter.

So, being the non-nonsensical person that I am, I totes decided that I’d bite the bullet and give this fish/choose your attitude/ positive thinking -a chance.

And by gee golly, paint me purple and sparkly and call my grandmother- I think it’s working.

Good things are happening people.

My shuffle function on the ipod is my friend again. Last week during my semi-mediocre depression it was just pumping out the sad tunes. At one point it even played Jann Arden’s “Hanging by a Thread.” I didn’t even know I had that song. I mean you could have just found out that you won the lottery, that you don’t have any cavities even though you haven’t been to the dentist in like 9 years, and that Zach Braff  has been the one calling from an unknown number and breathing into your ear the last few weeks, and you will still want to cry when you hear this song!!!!

Now my ipod is back to being all jokstery with me and playing Copa Cobana every time I get in my car, and that’s totally cool. I laugh and say “ohhh youuuuu…. you get me every time,” and I change the damn song.

And other good stuff has been happening too.

I got word from the awesomeness that is Candice that the magazine that she writes for wants to run my weight loss story, which made me nearly pee my pants from excitement. I won tickets to go see Timbaland, whom I normally wouldn’t have gone to see, but this whole “positive” thinking led me to believe that it might be fun even though I haven’t listened to “that” kind of music since I quit dancing. And you know what? It was a blast. We danced and met a ton of people that I have already added to my friends for life list. Or at the very least, to my facebook friends  for life list.  In addition, I’ve been really trying to balls up and go for new opportunities in things that I have been avoiding (like performin some funny,) and now it seems I even get some stage time next week. But more about that later…

I think that’s enough butterflies and sunshine for one post.

Except for one thing. I told you a couple days ago that my friends and I got a little noshed last week and made a few dance videos. Well, I finally got my hands on the first one we did.

The sound is a little off and you have to skip to about 1.40, but I promise it’s worth it. LA’s the first one to boogie- and I have been cracking up at the image of her first moves all week. I’m the third up to bat- and I swear- it’s like I literally tried to dance out of my pants, I was so excited.

Enjoy internets. I would only do this for you.

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Pee Ess (what,what???? thanks “Julie”) (go read her she’s fantabulous with three scoops of ice cream a cherry on top) ( Julie -don’t leave yet, there’s one more down there for you)

Attention Dallas Peeps!!!

A few of us Dallas bloggers have decided to blatantly plagiarize off of the D.C.-ERS and have planned a night of kickassery and drinktivities next Wednesday!! This will be my first time to meet ANY bloggers in real life and I am so totally pumped I actually googled “Real life Time Travel Techniques,” with no avail. So even though I have to wait, I figure it gives a few of you DFW’ers time to jump on board!!! Since we are all kind of spread out (TWHW) (That’s what he wishes) we are meeting a bit later than happy hour, but I can guarantee you there will still be happy hours to be had.

When:  Wednesday, February 10, 2010 @ 7:30 pm

Where:  Sherlock’s @ Park and 75

Who’s Coming: Shine, Gofahne, Graygrrrl, Natalie, Mary, and Carissa (me)  (and hopefully you?)

Let us know if you’re interested!!! We would love to have you!!

email me at carissajade@gmail.com

And “Julie” if you want to make a four hour drive, you can totally couch it at my house or in between my gayboy roommates since I know you will love them so much!!

OK, Before I get started I need some more help from a WordPress savy person.  I am obviously inept and cannot figure out anything on my own, so I would like some assistance with figuring out  how the heck  I put a “button” into my post. I have no idea how to make the post-it above link to Supah Mommy’s site. I copy the “button” but I have no idea where to post it. Thanks in advance!! Regardless check out Supah Mommy, who hosts this wonderful little post-it note Tuesdays that I have loved so long, but had no clue how to do. Here is my attempt!

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*Scrubs is coming back on December 1!!!!

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Wait, rewind…. I don’t actually know how I really feel about this.

Let me backtrack a bit.

Have I mentioned my obsession with this show? It’s almost as big as my obsession with John Cusack if that tells you anything. I know it’s a show that people either love or hate, and I love love love it.  Or at least I did. Last season was supposed the last, but ABC decided to renew it last minute. Only it’s not the Scrubs that we know and loved seasons 1,2,3,4,5, and 8… Season 9 is basically supposed to be  a “New Class” version of the show. As I understand it, Zach Braff is only scheduled to be in a few of the episodes, and the focus is mostly on a group of med-students.

As much as I love this show, I’m not sure how I feel about them trying to stretch it out “Saved By the Bell” style. I think sometimes it’s just best to let good things die when they are still good. I’m not going to write it off completely, but I’m definitely on the fence. Plus, Scrubs creator Bill Lawrence has already given us Cougar Town this year, so I will still have that to be thankful for.

*This is semi-related, but that’s ok. In a Scrubs episode a while back, JD claimed that “So is your face” is the perfect comeback. I believe he said “So is your face, always makes sense.” As far as I am concerned, he was correct. I have been using “your face” in some form, as a comeback for everything  for at least three years now, and it hasn’t gotten old yet… at least not for me.

Check it:

An asshole: Ughh… You are always late!!

Me: Your face is always late…

An asshole: Your breath smells like turkey shiz.

Me: So does your face…

An asshole: Sphincter says what?

Me: So does your face…

See? Never fails.

*OK, this one is also related. I guess I could have written this as a normal post, but I’m not turning back now people.  Has anyone else noticed how many famous people are doing voice-overs for commercials lately? I get a little distracted every time I hear Zach Braff’s voice doing the new Brita water commercials. He also did the puppy’s voice in the Cottenelle commercials a while back. Don’t get me wrong, I get a little excited in all the right places every time I hear his voice, but I don’t understand why companies get famous people to do their voice work for commercials. I doubt people who aren’t major fans even recognize them, and it seems it would be a lot cheaper to get lesser known people to voice them.

*Back when I didn’t have cable and watched nothing and Scrubs episodes on DVD, I got so used to hearing Zach Braff’s voice narrate the show-that he basically started doing it for me in my head. I didn’t mind a bit. The only person I would rather have do the job is Morgan Freeman.

*I know it’s a little bit early (37 days til Christmas, but who’s counting?)  but I’m really excited about the holidays. I love putting up a tree and decorations. I love Christmas scented candles. And I love holiday movies.  I’m not even the least bit embarrassed admitting to the world that I’ve seen every Lifetime and ABC family Christmas movie that has come out in the last 10 years. Not to mention the count on the classics like “Its a Wonderful Life,” “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation,” “A Christmas Story,” and “A Charlie Brown Christmas.”

But if you’re a real Scrubs Christmas fan, surely you’ve seen this?!

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*For those of you still reading, I promise I’m done with the Scrubs talk. I pinky promise. Now I’m just gonna straight up bitch for a second! My roommates have decided to see how long we can go before we turn the heat on this winter. I know, yes it’s true, I live in Texas. It probably won’t snow once this season… but still. It’s cold to me! There is nothing that I hate more than waking up so cold that I can’t get out of bed. If this goes on for much longer, I will definitely need to take action. Please let me know if you have any ideas.

*My roomies have also taken to making or buying deserts at least once a week. This week they made homemade pumpkin pie. My waistline, my sleep schedule, my trainer, and my back right cavity molar all hate you right now. But my heart is happy.

*I am going to take a moment to complain once more about my face. I’m 27 years old. I have always been one of those people who could boast “I never wash my face, and I never get pimples.” I am now eating my words in a major way.

Image via Wikipedia

*If there is anyone in the world with whom I have an obsession that even comes close to that of John Cusack, it is Zach Braff. And also, I am a liar.

I know that sounded like I am about to announce something huge.  Well I’m not. Unless you are interested in the fact that my forehead and my chin have simultaneously decided to rage war on my confidence in the form of pimples. Awesome. I look like I’m 11 and back in my awkward stage.

The reason this post is so difficult is because I literally drank enough this weekend to satisfy an entire army of thirsty pirates (there was probably a better way to put that) and I’m pretty sure I lost about a third of my brain cells. I’m really hoping those will grow back because I’m having a difficult time forming complete sentences.  I mean… I looked at a thingy for about ten minutes and I still don’t know what to call it. I did have a super fun weekend, full of lots of dancing and debauchery and laughs… and I’m sure I did more than I few things that I should be regretting, but luckily cannot remember them.

Anybooze, I am writing this on Monday night after completely avoiding all of you today. Seriously. This is the first weekday in about three months that I haven’t spent at least a few hours reading blogs. Me thinks I’ve got a lot of catching up to do.

Since I was completely brain dead this morning and finally decided not to write about how awkward it would be to be a fly on the wall in a room witnessing dry humping (a very strange conversation I got into this weekend), I decided not to post today (now yesterday.) Instead I chose to ignore the blog world entirely and to spend the day reading the other parts of the internet that I have been ignoring the last 3 months. This meant hours upon hours of catching up on youtube subscriptions, watching trailers on IMDB , and reading every article featured  on popurls. And since I’m still semi-stupid, I figure I will share with you some of the highlights…

Someone posted the following video on twitter, and although I cannot remember who it was- I want to give them a big giant hug right now. I seriously watched this at least 18 times today and I have almost completely memorized the dance. Umm… how awesome are those facial expressions?

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Another highlight is from one of my favorite internet sensations, Brental Floss who is someone I kind of actually know in person. Or… I at least met him once. He is best friends with one of my comedy friends ( Holla what MV!!!!) , and back when we were doing a radio show he came on and totally punked me on air. He is one of the funniest people ever, and is all kinds of musically talented. If you have even a tiny bit of love for video games, or music, or comedy… or even if you don’t- you definitely need to check him out. I had a lot of catching up to do, but my favorite (because Zelda holds a giant place in my heart) is part of his “With Lyrics” series, Zelda With Lyrics…

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Oh and here is another one about Toad being gay. I just showed my roommates and even they loved it.

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And while we’re on the subject, I cannot wait to see Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor’s new gay movie- “I love you Phillip Morris.”

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And holy shit. Toby Maguire, Natalie Portman, and Jake Gyllenhall??? I starting bawling just watching this intense preview!

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I can’t believe that I somehow let a few Jon Lajoie videos go posted without my taking notice. And by the by, if you haven’t watched The League (that show that comes on after It’s Always Sunny In Philadelhia,) featuring Jon, then you definitely need to check it out!

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I had a few more links that I wanted to share, but it seems the ambien God’s have taken flight and this post could start to get really ridiculous. Plus I really need the sleep. I promise at some point this week I will get back to being completely blog devoted… Until then, thanks for putting up with my flakiness.

Not to say that I didn’t watch some bad television as a kid. In recent years, I’ve tried to watch re-runs of Saved By the Bell and Full House, and they definitely don’t carry the same magic that they used to. That got me thinking about which shows that I used to love would still render themselves enjoyable now that I am an adult. I haven’t seen most of these shows in years, so to get a little perspective and refreshment, I even posed the question in the askreddit section of Reddit.com, and got an overwhelming response. In the end, my top ten are primarily shows that I would watch, but since I think I have pretty good taste.. here ya go!

10). Dinosaurs: (1991-1994) This Emmy winning prime-time comedy was an animated sitcom surrounding a family of, well, Dinosaurs. It didn’t come out until after Jim Henson passed away, but he had been waiting until the world was ready for animation that dealt with more adult humor. After the Simpsons proved that it worked, Dinosaurs kept quite a nice following with adults and kids alike. Seeing that the world loves crude, topical animation more now than ever, I think it would definitely still work in the modern times.

9). Mr. Wizard’s World: (1982-1991)In a world where kids are seemingly getting dumber and more like video game playing robots (simple robots)  than people, I think a show like Mr. Wizard’s World should be mandatory. I know that there are some people out there that, when it came to “learning” shows, preferred Bill Nye the Science guy or Beakman’s World- but in my book Don Herbert wins out as best t.v. scientist. I don’t know what it was about this show, but it really made me want to learn things!  The only other thing that has ever made me “want to learn things” is adderall; so I have come to the conclusion that there must be some sort of hypnotic subliminal message hidden in this t.v. show. Therefore, as long as they upped their dosage to effect the masses of ADHD children running around today- it would still be a pretty popular show,  as far as “learning” shows are concerned.

Plus, it had a pretty nerdgasmic opening credits, even by today’s standards.

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8). Clarissa Explains it all: (1991-1994) Maybe it’s because I haven’t actually seen an episode of Clarissa Explains it All in about 10 years, but if it is anything like I remember it -I would definitely still watch it today. You would think that after having every single person I have ever introduced myself to since 1991 reply with “har har, so do you explain it all?” And my having to answer with, ” my name is Carissa- not Clarissa, ya dumbass,” I would cringe at just hearing the show’s title… but surprisingly it doesn’t really bother me. Perhaps that’s because Clarissa was pretty much the coolest girl ever on t.v. I know you probably deny that you even watched it- but come on! You can’t tell me that you didn’t want a room like hers. I remember wanting to put a step ladder (my house was one story) outside my window, just to see if my very own Sam would pop on by. I know that today Clarissa would probably be a little dated, but I bet if they could update it to the times and get Diablo Cody to write the dialogue- it would be a hit!

7). Salute Your Shorts: (1991-1993) I’m sure your beginning to gather that I grew up in the Nickelodeon generation. I feel kinda gay admitting that I pretty much watched nothing but Nickelodeon (with the exception of Mork and Mindy,) but I can’t really be embarrassed about something that helped define me. I digress. Along with having one of the best theme songs in the existence of theme songs, I don’t think there is any question that Salute your Shorts would be a hit today.  It seems children’s television is all laugh track and pretty people these days. I don’t know if there was one pretty person on Salute Your Shorts. Plus, it was a politically incorrect slap-stick comedy set at a camp. Whats not to like about that? Also, did I mention the theme song?

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6). Boy Meets World: (1993-2000) If you have followed along, you may remember an old  journal entry I posted, that mentioned how much I wanted a love like Corey and Topanga’s. To tell you the truth, I still want a love like Corey and Topanga’s. The reason this would work in present day, is because it is exactly like the shows of the present day. Only it was way better. Just thinking about it makes me want to go learn a life lesson from Mr. Pheeney. Only, now that I’m really thinking about it- they need to bring this show back in the present day. I grew up so close with these guys, I don’t know what to do next! There are so many questions that they left unanswered… What did they do after college?  Would Corey and Topanga be so happy now? Or would they be battling to keep their mortgage from defaulting?

5). The Wonder Years: (1988-1993) Read the above post about Boy Meets World, and pretty much all the same reasons apply. The Wonder Years, set in the 60′s, followed Kevin Arnold in his journey through adolescence. Although it was set during the time my parent’s were growing up, I could relate to Kevin and his gang probably more than anyone else on television.  Each episode played out as a chapter of Kevin’s life, and I can still hear that narrator in my head every time I learn a lesson. It was both hilarious and heartbreaking, and as much as today’s youth has changed over the years- I’m sure even they can relate to that.

4).Pee-Wee’s Playhouse: (1985-1991) I think there is a good chance that if Paul Reubens hadn’t gone and pulled his wiener out in public, Pee Wee would still be the sensation today that is was back in the late eighties. Or at the very least it would have been canceled and then later given a shot at a come-back. Pee Wee was an over- the -top character who had a group of odd friends (mostly played by Second City alumnae, puppets, and stop animations) who helped him learn very odd life lessons. In Pee Wee’s world, it was not out of the ordinary to take a trip into his nostrils to see what his boogers were up to. More than anything, it was always such a fun time you never realized you were actually learning something. Kids (and adults) from any generation would enjoy spending a little more time in that playhouse where anything can happen. Today’s secret word is… Awesome! AHHHHHHHHHHH

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On a side note, it  turns out Paul Reubens is making plans to revive Pee Wee live on the stage. I will definitely travel to see this, where ever it may be.

3).The Ren and Stimpy show: (1991-1996) “Ren and Stimpy” set the footprints for pretty much every crass cartoon that plays today on Adult Swim. This show followed the ridiculous adventures of Ren the crazy chihuahua and Stimpy the cat. They often touched on important subjects as farting, rotting teeth, selling rubber nipples, and pissing on electric fences. I know this show would work today, because it still does. It was even revived back in 2003, and in the newest revival Ren and Stimpy were even more openly gay for each other than before.  It does need to be noted that original creator was only responsible for the first 2 seasons. The good news is that as of June 2009, you can catch re-runs on MTV 2. Ohhh Joyyyy!

2). Hey Vern, It’s Ernest!: ( 1988) Similar in mood to Pee Wee’s Playhouse, Jim Varney brought us a variety of hilarious characters in this short lived comedy. If you have seen the Ernest movies, you must note that they were really poor in comparison. I remember watching this show over and over from video tapes that my parents recorded, and I may just have to pull them back out this weekend. It really is a shame that Jim Varney passed away because he really was a talent like no other. Sketch comedy has certainly made a comeback in recent years,;and if Frank Caliendo can have a career now, there is no question that Jim Varney could too. I think the main reason why it didn’t work back then was because it was so ahead of it’s time. KnowwhutImean?

1).The Adventures of Pete and Pete: (1993-1996) I always kind of thought that this was kind of like The Wonder Years on heavy hallucinogenics. The Adventures of  Pete and Pete follows two brothers named Pete in their absurd but hilarious tales of adolescence. The characters were all quirky, yet sincere. The story lines were outrageous, yet you could relate. The acting was great and I am surprised the two main Petes are MIA… although you will notice superb guest stars ranging from Janine Garafalo to Michael Stipe. The Adventures of Pete and Pete is one of the most unique and memorable tv shows I have ever seen, and as much as it touched me, it would have to have the same impression on a younger generation. Afterall; they still all have 2 eyes and a heart, don’t they?

I actually didn’t even make it in to work today until about 1pm, though not out of any choice of my own.

If you’ve been keeping up with my life, (and why wouldn’t you be?) you would know that my windshield wipers have been broken for about 3 months now. I know I should have been proactive and gotten them fixed back when they quit working… but it’s one of those things that I actually only remember that I need to do, when it is raining. Plus it costs money. And also, it’s been just one more easy excuse as to why I cannot be the designated driver.

This weekend I decided to make an impromptu trip to Ft. Worth during a break in the rain. I put a lot of rain-ex on the windshield-which seems to work fine as long as it is only coming down in sprinkles. I made it there just fine, but as soon as I parked in my friend’s driveway-the sky decided to take a huge, never ending crap on my weekend… It literally didn’t stop raining until late Sunday night. And as a result I literally did not get off the couch for over 24 hours- except to pee and to refill my glass of wine.

So Sunday I decided that if I ever wanted to make it home, I would have to suck it up and take my car into the only shop that is open on Sundays, Pep Boys..aka Rapists.

Of course they didn’t have the part to the wiper motor that they needed so I had to wait until noon today to get my car back, and make the trek to work in Frisco. What a beating.

Over $200 later, I am happy to finally be able to drive in the rain without having to do so Ace Ventura style, but I’m just waiting to see which part of my Shitty Shitty Bang Bang car will decide to quit on me next.

A few other things that are annoying me today:

*Kanye West you are a freaking moron. I hate your music and it makes me furious that people of this world are ignorant enough to make you rich.

*I love the fact that my bank account sends me daily emails to let me know my account is still in positive standing. I loathe the ones they send me to let me know that my account has dipped below that positive standing. I just got one today.

*I actually don’t mind the rain… but it really makes me want to go home and put on pj’s and watch tv. It definitely doesn’t make me want to go home and put on gym clothes then drive to the gym and work out for an hour.

*I’ve been thinking about it this afternoon,  and though I don’t really love the show in the first place, Hung had a really really shitty season finale- and I don’t think I want to watch it next season.

However; not all is crappy. This Thursday It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia returns on FX, and I really just cannot contain my excitement! That coupled with the fact that So You think You Can Dance is already back on, I can continue making my evenings chopped full of slovenly activity.

Oh Seinfeld, my Seinfeld- how I need you in life
Though you went off the air 11 years ago
I still watch you in syndication every night.

You may have been a show about nothing-
But your lessons were never in vein-
In fact, my one true goal in life
Is to be just like George, Jerry, Kramer and Elaine.

Jerry always told his jokes,
Keeping his friends up in a riot…
Just don’t make him wear a puffy shirt
Because of course- “I don’t wanna be a pirate!”

George, he never did anything right,
Constantly getting himself into trouble
He would con anyone- in any situation-
He once even cheated in a game-with a boy in a bubble.

Elaine was somewhat of a serial dater
She’s so cute with her hair all curly…
She once slept with Jerry just to save the friendship-
But just once, because he wasn’t “sponge-worthy.”

Kramer, he always had his schemes-
A pizza place where you put your own topping on the dough
A coffee table book about coffee tables,
And of course you can’t forget the “Manzierre,” or was it the “Bro?”

The gang always met the strangest people
Some who were really off their rocker
In my life I can’t say I’ve known anyone quite like
The high, the low… or the close talker.

Every week was a new adventure,
George takes of his clothes to go poo!
I just won’t follow their lead when I’m ordering lunch
Or I might just hear
NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!

George found the negative in any situation
While Jerry made fun of anyone human,
But if there ever was anything fishy going on-
I’ve got just one word for you-
NEWMAN!

These Pretzels are making me thirsty-they said
And Festivus is the best Holiday…
If you ever have trouble finding Co-Stanza
Then look for an architect, named Art Vandalay.

Yada yada yada, Seinfeld was the best
I’ve got so many memories locked up in the vault
George, Jerry, Elaine, and Kramer -don’t you ever change
I love you, my show without a plot!

*Note- this was originally a piece I did for a monologue show a few years ago, thought I’d share!

Mike Judge also brought us Beevis and Butthead, in case you don’t remember…

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As far as books go, I haven’t read anything of real worth since Chelsea Handler’s “Are you there Vodka, It’s me Chelsea.” And if I’m real honest, I didn’t even read it per se, I just listened to it in audio book form. The last few books I read have been of the chic-lit variety. I came away from them feeling dumbed down and saying phrases like “I fancy him loads!” So now I’m ready to read, or listen to- something that  may not teach me anything, but will surely give me some laughs. I’m hoping to pick up a copy of David Cross’s debut  book “I drink for a Reason” this weekend. David Cross and I may not be on the same page politically, but his rants never fail to make me laugh. I have been a huge fan of his since Mr. Show aired on HBO, and an even huger fan of him since he played Tobias Bluth in Arrested Development, my third favorite show of all time.

Here’s a great Mr Show sketch.

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Another thing I’m excited for is the upcoming DVD release of Demetri Martin’s Comedy Central show, “Important things With Demetri Martin.” I don’t think it got a lot of attention from the viewing public, and I can’t understand why because this guys freaking hilarious. And he’s cute too. I would marry him and birth his children, even if I knew for sure they would come out with his honker of a nose.

But mostly I’m excited because tv shows are coming back! Finally! More than anything- I can’t wait to see my tv love Charlie Day on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, my 2nd favorite show of all time. I can’t wait, I can’t wait! How has this show gotten overlooked by the Emmy’s for 4 seasons now? The only thing I can say to that- is if not getting nominated for an Emmy means it won’t suffer the same fate as Arrested Development, then I guess I’ll let it fly.

And of course, non-entertainment related, I’m super duper excited about this 3 day weekend. So excited that I used the phrase super-duper. In an effort to try to make the summer last just a little bit longer, I’m road tripping down to Houston and Galveston this weekend. I just wish this eternal day would end so I could hit the road.

What am I not excited about? Driving four hours in Labor day traffic when there is a 40% chance of rain and I have no windshield wipers. Some may call it stupid, I just call it living on the edge.

And a lot of faith in rain-ex.