My blog is entirely too easy to find.

For the most part, it doesn’t really bother me. I talk about it openly and even keep a link to it on my Facebook, one click away from virtually everyone who knows me. (I feel like “virtually” may have been a poor word choice, as I am talking about the people who know me personally, not just virtually…if that makes sense.) I have convinced myself that my family and anyone who has ever known me on a professional level are either way too busy to read my little ole’ site, or they just don’t care.

If you read this  and you know me in real life, you probably know that, even in person I am  extremely candid and am not afraid of sharing personal information when provoked, or even when I’m not.

And if you do know me and I get on your nerves, make you uncomfortable,  you think I’m too crass, or you think I drink too much, then you probably don’t enjoy reading my blog and therefore do not come here except to make fun of my life. If that is the case,  the pleasure is all mine because I live to be laughed at.

So basically what I’m trying to say is that I really hope y’all enjoy what you read and keep coming back for more, but if you don’t- then please do not tell me so because I like to believe everyone likes me.

Never mind.

However, I’ve recently realized there are a few instances where I believe that my beloved blog may be a teensy weensy bit of a problem.

The first thing I worry about is my career.

I purposely do not write about my work.  I’m mostly happy in what I do, but you never know when you’ll end up back on unemployment and needing to look for a job. If that happens, I’m not too excited about potential employees googling my email and finding this site. But I suppose I won’t worry about that until it happens.

The other instance in which I have found that my blog has been a little bit of a hinder, is in meeting new people, face to face.

While I may share way too much information with you about my own personal issues, I choose never to talk about my private relationships, more specifically- dating. This is mostly because that part of my life is incredibly boring and mostly inactive, but also I feel some things should be kept private.

Similarly, I’m not so sure how I feel about the fact that guys that I meet who have the potential for dating, are able to easily read about my idiosyncrasies, or about the time I took out a tampon whilst driving. I don’t want an anonymous blog and I like for my friends to be able to easily read, but I’m a little torn on this matter.

I guess this is something I’ll have to figure out for myself, but let me know if you have any advice.

In other news, I’m trying an experiment this week that may take me away from the computer a bit. Over the last few months I’ve noticed that I have been drinking a little more during the week than I feel is appropriate. Oh no, don’t go saying “I told you so, you have a problem.” This is not the case.

My problem is not of the drinking variety, so much as it is of the sleeping variety. A few hours before I go to sleep, I start to get extremely anxious- and come to the conclusion that I’ll probably never be able to fall asleep until 4 in the morning, I will miss work or be late, and then I’ll end up jobless and living on the streets feigning a crack addiction so I can get welfare. So as to avoid this scenario, I have taken to having a cocktail or a few glasses of wine before bed.

While it does help me to sleep, I don’t want to be one of those people who drinks every single night. I drink on weekends because I enjoy it, not because I need it to have a good time. I don’t particularly enjoy feeling the need to rely on alcohol for anything. And this is why I’m taking a break this week.

I know it’s really not that big of a deal, I’m only going until Halloween… but until then- not a single drop. I would really like to prove to myself that I can sleep like normal people. In order to achieve this goal, (as well as to fit into my Halloween skirt) I am also upping the gym time this week ten-fold. So bear with me if I’m a little grouchy and tired. Working out and not drinking can do that to a girl.

I will leave you today with a little gem from my email archives. A few months ago, one of my guy friends had a misunderstanding with his girlfriend. After many drinks, my friend left the following message on another one of my guy friend’s voice mail. Guy friend #2 then transcribed the message, for my- and now your, enjoyment.

“Fuck you not answering my call, I think you just fucking denied me.  I just wanted to talk about how girls are fuckin…….well they’re just fucking, i don’t know.  They’re just big fuckin vagina’s, i guess they do have vagina’s, but i like vagina’s.  But they’re just big fuckin bitches, a bitch bag, a big bag of douche.  I fuckin hate em, i’m just going to be asexual and jack myself off for the rest of my life.  I’d be a lot happier.  Hope your having fun…..Later”

Happy Monday everyone!

A referral letter about a coworker

1 Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
2 hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without
3 wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never
4 thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
5 finishes given assignments on time. Often he takes extended
6 measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
7 breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
8 vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
9 knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be
10 classed as a high-caliber employee, the type which cannot be
11 dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be
12 promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
13 executed as soon as possible.

Addendum:

That idiot was standing over my shoulder while I wrote the report sent to you earlier today. Kindly re-read only the odd numbered lines.