I have to say, it feels really good to be writing regularly again. I really appreciate those of you who visit this site and leave feedback, and also those of you who just read! It makes my heart swell.
I was looking back at some old posts, and I was hit with the realization that I have been writing here for nearly 6 years now.
With the exception of some of my closest friends and of course my family, I haven’t had much in my life for six whole years.
Just as I have, this site has gone through many changes.
When I first started, it was mostly a place where I put up movie reviews and silly little thoughts.
After a while, I became part of a community. I was really active on 20SB and participated in link ups and guest blogs. I met some amazing people. Some that I’m still friends with today.
During that time, I updated my blog with embarrassing stories and silly anecdotes. Some of it is a little embarrassing. But it was fun, and it was who I was at the time.
At some point, I stopped updating so regularly. Most of the blogs I followed did too. I still follow most of the people on social media and many of them have gone on to write books, write for bigger websites and get jobs in social media.
When I applied for my radio job, I asked my readers to write up recommendations for me. I sent in 150 hilarious and touching recommendation letters, which I’m sure helped land me this position.
For a while, real life took over. Months would go by, without even a thought of my site. I got busy with relationships, new jobs and other hobbies, and writing stopped being such a priority.
Still, I always came back when I needed to vent or unload about something.
In a way, my relationship with this site has been much like my relationships with my oldest friends.
It has seen me through failed relationships. Career changes. A 140 lb weight loss. My decision to quit drinking for good. My struggle with an eating disorder.
When I needed it, it was always there for support and a shoulder to cry on.
Even when I wasn’t updating regularly, I always felt a little bit of guilt in the back of mind, much like the nagging feeling you get when you know you need to call a friend.
Lately, I’ve been leaning on this relationship a little more.
I am now remembering how good it felt to be a part of a community. How much of a difference it can make when you have like-minded people to offer and receive support, and a place where you I can share the things that are on my mind.
The problem is, I’ve never been very good at commitment.
I’m nervous that I will get overwhelmed and walk away again.
So I’ve decided to take it slow.
I’m going to continue to come here and share, and I’m hoping to continue making connections. I’m giddy about the new ones I’ve made already.
I’d really like us to get to know each other better. But I know I’ve got a lot to learn.
I guess what I’m saying is, do you think we could be friends? I’d really like to see where this goes.