T.G.I.F. (Truth, Gratitude, “I am”, and “Fuck it”)


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Whew, I feel like I’ve been using my brain a lot this week. Don’t get me wrong, it’s been a pretty good week and I feel proud of myself this week-but I’m ready for a brain-break.

I haven’t gotten the chance to get out to any of the SXSW events, and I think I’m ready to finally venture out and see what this city has to offer. It feels overwhelming, but I am feeling the need to connect with people and just have some fun.

Truth:

*I’m going to be honest with you. I did something earlier this week that is still sitting really heavy in my gut. I’m trying my best to not be too hard on myself, but in this case, I’m really really bummed.

You know how I’m kinda obsessed with John Cusack? Well I had the opportunity to interview him last weekend and I completely slept through it. I set my alarm. I had my clothes set out and had done everything I could to prepare so I wouldn’t look like an idiot. And then I slept through it.

I’m rationalizing it by telling myself that it’s probably for the best. Maybe he would have been a jerk to me and I wouldn’t have him to idolize anymore.

Regardless, it doesn’t matter. It’s done. It’s happened. I can’t do anything about it now. But the truth is, I still feel like I let myself down.

Gratitude:

*Time– The radio show has been on reruns all week. Even though I’ve had to run the board every morning and have had to wake up at my normal 4:30 am wake up time, I feel like I got a little vacation time myself. I love my team and I love my job, but it has been nice to have completely stress-free mornings. I usually go crazy with free time, but I’ve really been trying to take advantage of it and use it constructively. I’ve been running during lunch and reading and writing and it feels really good.

*Friends- It’s become so clear to me how much I had been holding back and isolating when it came to my friends. I got so used to living in my head, that I completely forgot how wonderful it is to have people to share with, to laugh with, and to completely be myself with.

Heidi and I at CJ's party
Heidi and I at CJ’s party

I’ve been really trying to say “yes” more when it comes to social activities, even when my first inclination is that it will make me uncomfortable. The results have been amazing. I no longer feel like I am going through this thing alone.

My Chu Chu
My Chu Chu

 

This week I met a new friend for a coffee date, celebrated a close friend’s birthday, and reached out to a few old friends I hadn’t talked to in a while. I’m so grateful for all of these experiences, and not once did I regret connecting.

*My animals- I’ll put this on my gratitude list every day, because every day I’m grateful for my little furry messes. As I’ve been really working on mindfulness, I’ve learned that my doggies will always bring me back to the present. They’re just so happy.  And that makes me happy.

stevie popcorn

I am:

Reading: The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin

Watching: The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

Loving: That Spring has arrived in Austin.

Eating: Dreyer’s Outshine Real Fruit Popsicles (OMG YUM)

This week I am strong. I am happy. I’m growing. I’m setting goals, and keeping most them. I’m vulnerable. I’m sensitive. I’m hard on myself. I’m human.

Fuck it:

*I’m old and uncool. I finally got around to looking at the SXSW schedule and only recognized two names on it. Then I looked closer and realized it was actually “Wave Chapelle,” and not Dave Chapelle. So I’m uncool and old and that’s ok. Fuck it.

*My mess of a room.  Last weekend I decided it was time to switch out my winter clothes for my summer clothes. I worked on that just enough to pull out all of my summer clothes and spread them out over every surface in my room, and then I got distracted. It’s been eating at me all week. I know I should get on that today, but as I’m weighing my priorities (therapy, yoga, time with Matt) it’s just not high on my list. It will still be there for me to clean and organize tomorrow. Or maybe even Sunday. Fuck it.

*That John Cusack interview. I still have to let that one go. So I didn’t get to meet the man of my dreams. Maybe I’ll have another chance. Maybe not. Fuck it.

 

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  • Ganeeban

    I had to come check your page out! And your first post that I read was awesome. I love what your TGIF stands for! I had to re-read your JC part, sorry to rub that in. Bummer that it all happened that way, maybe the universe was telling you something (or I should just shut up)! It’s nice to remind ourselves what we are grateful for, sometimes I loose site at times! Have a great weekend! xoxo, ganeeban

  • http://www.thesimplepeach.com/ Alaina @ The Simple Peach

    I love this post! You are awesome!

  • Mwa

    Freud would say you didn’t want to meet him, truly, or you wouldn’t have slept through it.
    (Not sure if that helps.)

  • http://www.carissajaded.com CarissaJaded

    Thanks for stopping by! Hope you have a happy week!

  • http://www.carissajaded.com CarissaJaded

    I agree with freud. I think I needed to keep him on that pedestal.

  • http://www.carissajaded.com CarissaJaded

    Thanks Alaina!

  • http://www.champagneforeveryday.com/ Jill @ Champagne for Everyday

    Great post girly!! It was actually inspiring for me to read about your Cusack incident – I’ve been giving myself some shit over something dumb I did last week. It’s a great reminder that we ALL make mistakes, and we ALL live through it. Moving on!!

    xx Jill

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