Some weeks are just more difficult than others.
This is one of those for me.
I don’t feel inspired. I feel exhausted. Little tasks seem impossible.
I’m struggling to keep to my practice. I haven’t wanted to work out, and it’s causing me to have self-deprecating thoughts.
Still though- as I was driving to work this morning and attempting to meditate on my day ahead-I felt a sense of calm.
I forgive myself.
It’s ok to have bad days. It’s ok to have negative emotions. It’s ok to need to rest and avoid every once in a while.
I just have to be aware of those emotions… aware of how they are causing me to react. THEN I can work on changing my behavior. I can also give my credit for the goals, however small, that I’ve managed to keep.
For instance, I had been avoiding making my yearly gyno appt. for over a month. Why? I have no idea.
I finally realized that having the stress of not calling and making the appointment, was much greater than the 3 minutes it would take to make the call.
In retrospect, it also made the other items on my “to do” list seem a lot more doable. Plus, I was reminded how good it feels to cross something off the list.
Anyway, I’m hanging in there.
This weekend I have plans to see a good friend, and eventually will get back to doing daily yoga and meditations.
In the mean time, you can watch this silly video we made this week at work.