This weekend while I was home visiting my parents and sleeping in a room that was once covered in Beatles albums and blacklight posters, my mom presented me with a memory board that she found in the depths of a closet.
My first thought was that “I used to be so cute.”
My second thought was “I used to be such a loser.”
Especially because upon further inspection, this was something that I made in my free time and for my own enjoyment, and not for any sort of school project or anything.
But now I’m back to thinking it was quite precious. I love that my best friend Suzanne and I loved each other so dearly that we wanted to preserve our friendship and our lives and our dreams at that exact moment.
I also have admiration that my 11 year old self was so insightful… that she knew what she wanted in life. She might have even had a better idea of her goals and passions than I do at 32.
Nowadays, I often have trouble deciding what food I would like to eat for dinner. I can no longer tell you with confidence what my favorite color or animal is, and I definitely don’t have the time nor patience to write a poem about my house.
However, there is still so much on this board that I can still relate to. It’s pretty crazy that in a life where so much has changed, there are some aspects about my true self that still exist.
I still love dancing and boys and friends, and I still have a strong dislike for snobs and math.
I may still struggle with what I want to do with the remainder of my life, but I still have the goal of wanting to help people. And I may have not had the best luck with animals (RIP Oreo) but 21 years later, my pets have a greater importance in my life than I would have imagined.
I remember fondly how strong my desire to become a “famous actor” stayed intact. While I no longer hold on to dreams of fame and fortune, I still have a passion for performing. I have a desire to nurture that love and to grow stronger in my skill. Just this week, I signed a contract with an agent and am signing up for acting classes. It makes me kinda giddy that 21 years later I haven’t completely given up or sold out.
And of course there are some truths about myself that I can still proudly claim as my own. I still love my family and friends. I believe that I am a friendly person and that I’m extremely lucky to have the people I have in my life.
I’m thinking I should make one of these now… or what modern folks call vision boards. I used to think that this would be cheezy- but I do see the importance in taking the time to explore yourself, and the things you really want out of life.
We get so caught up in day to day life that it’s easy to forget what we hold important to us.
I’m glad I found this little board, and it definitely makes me proud of who I was and who I am right now.