I Love Myself and What Self Help Book Worked For You?


love myself

I spent the weekend at home at my parent’s house in Waco, and I did absolutely nothing. It wasn’t very exciting, but I couldn’t have asked for a better weekend.

I snuggled with dogs, watched mindless television, had long conversations with my grandmother, and read an entire book for pleasure.

It’s so nice to have a place to go that feels safe and where I feel loved, regardless of the chaos that might be happening in the other facets of my life. I know that no matter what I do, my parents will accept and want the best for me.

I know. I’m a giant cheezeball. But cheeze is delicious so I don’t care.

potter stevie potter car stella 1

Before I forget, I want to say that if you’re at all into reading scary books, “Seed” by Ania Ahlborn is definitely worth your time. I read her book “The Bird Eater” a few months back, and it really stuck with me. It’s been a few weeks since I’d had the time to put into reading a good fiction book, so I decided to try another book by Ms. Ahlborn.

seed

I can already tell that this one will stick with me for a long time. I can always determine how much I enjoyed a book by how difficult it is to start another one. You kind of want to read another book just like it, but none of them seem to compare.

This particular book really scared me. Exorcist stories always do, though I’m not even sure you could call it that. It’s part psychological and part horror, and all around terrifying.

The other indulgence I allowed myself this weekend was a book by Kamal Ravikant called “Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on It.”

love yourself

I’ve said it before, I don’t usually fall for “self-help” books that tout that they have the answers for happiness or a magically better life.

To be honest, I’m not even sure why I decided to pick it up.

I guess I can’t help but be allured by a promise that there is an answer for any pain or hardship. Or that perhaps I would be inspired by someone else who had found the “answer,” the key to this crazy roller coaster called life.

And let me say this… I’m not completely sold on this book… But I do think there is something to it.

The author claims that he has found a way to change misery into magic… that he has found a way to truly be happy.

And for him, it was simple.

He goes into greater detail in the book, of course; but the main idea is to repeat the phrase “I love myself, I love myself, I love myself” over and over again until you finally start to believe it. When you’re lying in bed, when your driving to work, when your watching tv- “I love myself, I love myself, I love myself.” Eventually, you will feel so much love toward yourself that you want the best for yourself. You will begin to treat yourself with love and make decisions that will ultimately mean the best for you.

The more I think about it (while I don’t think it’s that easy), there are parts about this ritual that make sense.

First; by continuously repeating something positive about yourself, you are keeping yourself from thinking negative thoughts. It keeps you from getting into the that cycle of “I should have dones” or “Why didn’t I do this differently?”

It’s basically a way of keeping yourself in the present, but with an even more positive spin.

I also know that there is proof that if we repeat something enough, it starts to burn a path in our brain, and we eventually start to believe it.

It’s no different than binge watching FOX news and coming away conservative.

People all over the world scan Pinterest for positive quotes and affirmations when they’re feeling down. Some people turn to religion or prayer as a way to get their worries off of their chest.

So it makes sense that providing yourself with positive reinforcement whenever your mind feels too noisy, or whenever you feel anxious and depressed will help to lift your mood.

I also think that it is undeniable that if we could treat ourselves the way we treat other people that we love… if we could be as gentle and as patient with ourselves as we are with our loved ones…. we would find that we were not only happier-but that we would be making smarter decisions.

I do have to say that it is my first inclination was that this all seems a little egotistical. Should I really focus all of my attention on myself? Does this mean I should stop caring about other people’s feelings?

I know that’s not his intention.

He claims that the better you treat yourself, the better you are able to treat others.

I don’t know.

But I’m trying it anyway.

If nothing else, it’s working to keep my mind busy. And I do feel a little happier.

But that could be because I ate pizza for breakfast.

That’s right, I love myself so much I gave my tummy pizza for breakfast.

I love myself. I love myself. I love myself. I love myself.

Maybe if I say this enough life will actually start to love me back.

What I’m really curious about, is whether or not any “self-help” book or website has ever worked for you?

 

 

 

 

 

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  • EvelKneivel

    I’ve never been able to keep my attention focused on a self-help book long enough to finish one. I think we learn to love ourselves by first forgiving ourselves for whatever we need to, but mainly forgive ourselves for being ourselves and imperfect. If one has a higher power that they pray to, praying for help to forgive oneself is sometimes where we have to start. I did anyway. The writings, especially meditations, of Richard Rohr have helped me immensely with the way I feel about myself and with the way I feel about my spiritual life. He’s very attuned to the challenges of recovery, as well. You can find more at CAC.org.

  • asplenia

    I love your summary of “Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It” — it’s funny, I bought it last fall and thought the same thing. The idea and presentation didn’t hook me right away. But there was something about the message that seemed worth investigating.

    I started practicing what he said. It’s probably mostly coincidence… but my life did actually start to change afterwards and now (6 months later) it’s completely different (and amazing!). (Granted it was pretty shitty then so wouldn’t have taken much improvement to be amazing – haha.)

    One of the biggest takeaways was the question “if I really loved myself, would I let myself have this experience?” Sometimes the answer is yes, and I’m TOTALLY going to enjoy unhinging my jaw and downing this tub of ice cream. But mostly asking that question brought clarity to how I was devaluing myself in other situations.

    Anyway, great write-up.