Let’s make this a thing in America so I can pay to get my car fixed. (WATCH ME EAT)

Hope  everyone out there on the interwebs survived the latest 12-hour ice-age scare.

I know that, at least for us Austinites, it was really terrifying out there. I mean there was ice on my windshield… A few spots of ice on the sidewalk… and I had to wear two pairs of pants, which I find to be terribly uncomfortable.

And for those of you Northerners saying that we’re a bunch of pussies for not being able to drive a tiny layer of ice, you are only partially right. While we do display extremely pussy-like behavior and excitement when precipitation  meets freezing temperatures, it was actually quite “treacherous” out there for a few hours this week.

I was lucky enough to escape most of the treachery, at least as far as this morning was concerned.

My brain has also reached it’s limit for hearing the word “treacherous”for the next year.

Last Friday morning though, my new (to me) little Ford Ranger was almost met with destruction for the second time in a week. I attempted to drive to work at 4:45am and ended up floating on a patch of ice for 15 minutes, until I finally gave up and called my boyfriend to come rescue me. My truck just didn’t have the energy to fight any more battles this week.

Only 24 hours before, I had awoken to find my truck had been smashed along with my boyfriend’s mailbox by, what I can only assume, was a drunken driver. Either that, or someone mistook my car for a giant pinata. I’d like to imagine it was the latter, because what kind of person smashes into a car as dirty as mine without at least writing a simple “I’m sorry” on the windshield?

So now I find myself, almost a week later, and still missing a taillight. I know, I know. I probably shouldn’t have splurged on a new pair of hiking boots and should have made safety my first priority… But I’ve gotten completely obsessed with collecting backpacking gear and my feet simply couldn’t wait a second longer.

Things are looking up though. I think I’ve found a way to pay for a new headlight, bumper AND the 50 liter Osprey backpack that so desperately calling my name. We just have to make this a thing in America.

eat this


For those of you too lazy to watch- apparently, “Gastronomic Voyeurism” is a thing, and it’s very popular in South Korea.

Basically, it’s like live cam-girls except with food instead of vagina and boobs.

While I don’t completely understand the why, or who the audience would be, (I imagine it’s a bunch of people on diets or people connected to feeding tubes) I definitely understand the how.

And I think could totally do this.

Eat? I’ve got that down.

Web Cam? Check.

Attention and money from the internet? Totally need both.

I’d even be willing to get fat again,  if that’s what it takes.

I decided to give it a try, just to see what it felt like to eat in front of a camera. Warning: there is nothing remotely interesting about this video. It’s  just me eating a slice of Digiorno pizza. For the good stuff, you’d have to pay the big stuff. Or at least enough money for delivery.


What do you think? Is America ready to pay money for stuff as thrilling as this? Do I need to smack more?

Maybe I should just sell my laptop. It has a shitty camera anyway.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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