Why I Am Considering Giving My Dog Up For Charity…

You probably know by know that I recently acquired a furry little ten-pound mutt.

All in all, she’s brought a lot of joy to my life over the last few months.

stevie bubbles

STEVIE STICKS LOVES BUBBLES!!!

She snuggles with me at night, she greets me with this adorable little growl when I walk in the house, and she’s just so damn cute it hurts sometimes.

You also be aware that I may not have the best track record when it comes to pet-ownership.

It’s true that in the past I may have purchased pets based on their cuteness, and not on my ability or time to actually take care of them. That being said, I have had many, many MANY animals in my 31 years, and only ONE of them has died in my possession.

You should  also know that Stevie Ticks is currently one of the happiest puppy dogs in the world. She’s even semi-well behaved. Sometimes. If you don’t count the time the pooped on my boyfriend’s chest… or when she pooped in her food bowl (she’s obviously never heard the term “don’t shit where you eat”) … or when she chewed a giant hole in my bed spread while I was sleeping.

OK basically we’ve still got a lot of work to do with her. But she’s been doing really well at crate training, and for the most part, she’s even gotten to the point that when she’s out of the crate, she goes to the door when she’s ready to go out.

Most of the time, even when she’s acting like a crazy monster of a dog, she makes me laugh.

I should have known this morning though, that today was not going to be one of those good days, when I got THIS text from my sister/roommate.

stevie pooped

 

I didn’t get her text until I was already at the gym, so by the time I got home early afternoon, I was pretty worried about the state of my home.

Luckily, our house didn’t burn down, and I walked in to find Stevie Ticks calmly chewing on a bone in her crate. I decided that since I had the afternoon free, and since it was raining outside, I would snuggle up in bed for a bit with the new Steven King novel, Doctor Sleep. (Seriously people, I have been waiting for the sequel to The Shining since I was ten years old).

I had only been reading for a few minutes with Stevie snuggled up next to me, when I smelled the curious scent of poop. Turns out, Stevies’ previous night’s sickness had made a thick coat of crustiness all over her fur.

No sweat, I thought, I would just give her a bath.

Stevie usually does pretty well with baths… she even jumps in sometimes while I’m showering and tries to eat all the water from the faucet. And then she hops out and rubs her wet fur all over all the clean clothes in the house! I know, you probably want to come and dog nap her from me. DON’T YOU??

After her bath, it’s time for my most favorite part of the week. BLOW DRY TIME.

Like most things she encounters, Stevie usually tries to eat the blow drier. She also likes to pretend like she’s on heavy drugs at a House of Pain Concert in the early nineties.

I usually have to blow dry her in the bathroom with the door shut so that she doesn’t break all the breakable things in my house. Unfortunately, this means that no one else understands what’s happening when I’m howling with laughter with the blow dryer going in my bathroom. My neighbors probably think I have a very interesting sex life.

That’s why I decided to attempt to video tape a blow dry session for you!

The first video didn’t go as planned. She’s just too fast for elementary camera skills, but you can kind of get the gist.


Since my first video didn’t turn out so well, I decided to give it another shot.

This time, the most amazing thing happened. When I began to blow dry Stevie, she stayed still! She even seemed to pose in such a way for me to more aptly dry her flowing locks.


After seeing that, you can probably understand why I’m considering giving my dog up for charity. Why should I be the only one allowed to have so much joy in my life?

 

 

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