It’s Gonna Be Me

Most of you know by now that I’m a fairly sane person.

OK so that’s not true at all; but I’d like to think you all know that I’m crazy in the “might speak in a British accent for 98 hours straight” kind of way, and not in the “off-the-wall-bat-shit-avoid-when-you-see-me-out-in-public,” way- although I realize that for some of you, they are one and the same.

Still, I questioned my sanity a little more than usual this morning as I perused the various social networks.

First of all. I didn’t realize people still watched MTV, much less the VMAs. Perhaps it’s because I’m 31 now, and just completely out of touch with young people; or maybe I’ve just been without cable for too long. I just know that I haven’t given the Video Music Awards a thought in the last 13 or so years.

Moreover, I was unaware that the VMAs would ignite such strong feelings from a place inside of me that I didn’t know still existed.

I may have mentioned  in passing that Once Upon A Time I was quite the NSYNC fanatic. But I probably didn’t let on just how deep my passion for those LA-Gear clad- Dirty-Poppin,-fab-five truly ran.

Let me just say that I was that girl.


For those of you who still don’t understand what I mean, I’ll let you in on a few of the embarrassing details.

*For 3 years, my tiny RCA was constantly set to record any and every performance/interview/music video that my boys appeared in.

*I spent hours memorizing every pelvic thrust and shoulder roll that came out of their bodies and made it to my vcr.

*I spent even more hours editing together every performance/interview/music video, so that I would have several video tapes full of countless hours of commercial-free *NSYNC.

*My friends and I auditioned for a Dallas radio station’s “Lip-Synch to *NSYNC contest, and made it to the finals. This meant choreographing a medley and performing it in front of actual people. In costumes.

*We went to every concert that we could afford as lowly high-schoolers.

*We drove to said concerts in vehicles that were fully decorated in shoe-polish, to ensure that the entire world was aware that we were *NSYNC BOUND!

*We even decorated the inside of the vehicle with pin-ups so that we wouldn’t have to spend a second without staring into the eyes of JC or Joey.

*I owned a Lance Bass doll, and proudly displayed it in my room.

*We recreated the “Drive Myself Crazy” video in my room.

*My friends and I once talked our way into working at a concert, handing out brochures.

*We also talked our way into a nightclub (while underaged) and onto the VIP stage and danced our hearts our WITH our most favorite pop-stars.

OK so this doesn’t even begin to do my obsession justice, but you get the idea. I didn’t gain a college reputation for busting out my *NSYNC choreography at frat-parties for nothing…

I realized this morning that my love for this particular boy-band still runs strong. I’ve spent the last 10 years outwardly pining for Ben Gibbard and Jack Black, when I couldn’t even admit to myself that my heart still belonged to someone(s) else’s beats.

This morning when I saw countless posts about the *NSYNC reunion at the VMAs scroll across my facebook homepage, I wasn’t just lovelorn, I was possessive.

The thoughts “Hey, that’s MY BOYBAND you’re talking about.” And “Oh did YOU meet Joey Fatone 4 times in your life? Did YOU share a cigarette with him at a New York nightclub after you watched him lose a break-dancing competition with Carlton from Fresh Prince?” mayyyy have crossed through my mind more than once.

Still, I’m glad that I’m not alone in my lingering feelings for a boyband nearly forgotten. And now that I remember, I will wear my love proudly. I might even re-learn the dance moves and perform them some time at a party near you.

And will I feel ashamed? Only for the fact that I spent so many years pretending my love was a thing of the past.

So for now on, when you’re driving down Congress and you hear “It’s Gonna Be ME” blasting from a beat up Chevy-Station wagon? Yeah, it’s gonna be me. No shame here.





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