I Hate the Cold and Desperately need a Dreambotomy.

There are very few things that I enjoy about cold weather.

In fact, I can count the only good things about cold weather on one hand.

*I don’t have to shave my legs

*Can light a fire

*Have an excuse to stay inside more than usual

*Sweats

*My boyfriend looks really hot in a beanie

Still, when I’m not curled-up under a pile of blankets like a turtle, I’ve been trying to make the best of it.

Last weekend I actually dragged my ass out of the house for a good amount of time, and guess what? I didn’t turn into a snowman.

Friday night we went to the Texas Stars game, and I found out that hockey is my new favorite sport. If you live in the Austin area, and you are looking for something fun to do, I definitely recommend  checking out a game.

For some reason, Matt was completely obsessed with this Hamburger blimp.

Later, we went to see Harmontown at Cap City. I’ll admit, by the time I got there I was a little tipsy. That doesn’t take away from the fact that it was hilarious.

After the show, someone broke into my facebook and wrote the following message to Dan Harmon:

 ”Dear Dan, Thanks for being you.You my hero. You funny. I love you. Poop is brown.”

Dan, if you happen to stumble upon my little blog, I’m sorry. It wasn’t me. I don’t think.

Besides that, I’ve been spending the rest of my week trying to forget what’s been happening inside my head while I sleep.

I used to never remember my dreams. Lately I remember every horrifying detail. It makes me not want to sleep. It makes me consider calling up a psych-ward doctor from the 60′s to see if it would be possible to slice out the nightmare-inducing portion of my brain. I believe the procedure is called a dreambotomy.

The other day I dreamt that I gave birth to a baby with just a crying mouth, no eyes or nose. Then I had dreams of tiny explosive marbles that I had to run away from on only my hands. In another, my car exploded and I had to  slither my way out. I dreamt that I had to fight an evil cactus. In many, I’m stuck in a carnivale-sque world full of evil midgets whom keep stealing my shoes. I’m often searching frantically for a family member who has been kid-napped.

The worst are the ones where I’m aware that I’m sleeping, but no matter what I can’t open my eyes or move my body.

Fuck you, sleep paralysis.

Yesterday I lay on the ouch, fully aware that I had fallen asleep while watching an old episode of The Vampire Diaries. (Don’t judge).

I swore I heard the front door open, and footsteps walk to the couch around me. Then I could feel and hear the sound of a deep breath across my face. No matter how much strength I put into opening my eyes, they wouldn’t budge, until they did. And I was alone. On the couch. With Vampire Diaries playing in the background. I slept for a grand total of 9 minutes. 9 terrifying minutes.

I obviously need to change something in my life.

I’m thinking I need to find a way to bring exercise back into my life. The last time I was consistently working out was when I was doing Sunstone Yoga in Dallas. I miss it, desperately.

I’m putting it in writing here because I need the internet to hold me accountable.

2013 will be the year I get back into shape. I will start working out daily, one way or another.

Now do your job and bug me about it on facebook. Make me feel really guilty. Just don’t call me fat… I will punch you in your balls.

 

 

 

Related posts:

1. A little bit of love (and hate) in my heart
2. Making Bad Things Good. And other shizzle.
3. 7 Very Important Things that Probably Deserve Their Own Posts
4. Love my life! But a little bit of FML (Because it IS Friday!)
5. Day 1: I hate you, me.

Tags: amount of time, amount of time, Austin, blankets, blimp, blog, cactus, cap city, carissajaded, cold weather, dan harmon, deep breath, excuse, Facebook, favorite sport, friday night, harmon, hero, hockey, i just ate a whole bag of wasabi peanuts, last time, legs, marbles, night terrors, nightmares, poop is brown, psych ward, sleep, snowman, something fun, stars game, stars game, Texas, texas stars, tired, weather, working out