Hi everyone! I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I know I did! I got to spend a wonderful day at home with my family, and there was absolutely no drama! I even brought my boyfriend home with me, and besides him having to *sleep on the floor covered with dog hair, things went really well.
*To clarify, my parents didn’t make him sleep on the floor. **My parent’s house just has no beds.
**My sister and I took them all (except for my parent’s bed) for our apartment and they haven’t gotten new ones.
You may have noticed my recent absence from blogging. I was tempted on coming back with a “MY INTERNET HAS BEEN HACKED AND SOMEONE STOLE MY NOVEMBER BLOGS!” entry… but then I remembered that I don’t have to answer to anyone. Anyone except myself.. and let me tell you-I can be a bitch of a critic.
Honestly, I don’t know what happened to me this month. I completely lost my will to do anything. I can’t even think of anything that I have to be depressed about… but still, I’ve been in a major funk. When I really get down to it, I think I just completely burned myself out. I’ve been going non-stop since last January filming, performing, working 3 jobs, and forcing myself to write as much as possible… On top of that, I hadn’t been to therapy in nearly 6 months and I realized I’ve been neglecting keeping up with my mental-well being.
This entire year I’ve been telling myself over and over again that the moment that things start to feel like a job, I’ll quit doing them, or at least pull-back. I get involved in things because I’m passionate about them… but I don’t want them to be something I’ll stress out about-which is exactly what happened. I got to the point I was at several years ago, where I would curse myself to death if I didn’t write about something at least half entertaining, which really isn’t the point. I do this for me… as a means clear my head and to give me something do keep up with.
After a much needed month of taking time for myself, watching numerous Rom-Coms and ABC family television shows on Netflix, and eating whatever the hell I felt like eating, I am finally feeling a little more like my old self.
Actually, I don’t think I was cured from my depression until last night. Boyfriend Matt and I were at the local ginormous HEB collecting the items we would need to make a delicious brinner of Migas and Mimosas. Now keep in mind, I am not one of those people who gets super excited about Christmas. (LIES) I’m also not a fan of boy bands. (MORE LIES) But something happens inside of me when I hear any of the 14 tracks on NSYNC’s “Home for Christmas” album.
I was sampling a bite of crock-pot beef when I heard it, faintly over the murmur of the crowd. Track number 17, “All I want is you (This Christmas)”.
My heart soared. My stomach butterflied with excitement. I lost all control of my hand, and it grabbed a jar of hot-sauce to use as a microphone. The next thing I knew, I was dancing and singing in the aisle at the top of my lungs… and my boyfriend was nowhere in site, not that I blame him.
When the song was over, I was complimented on my jam by a clerk, reunited with my boyfriend, and smiling from head to toe. I was reminded, once again, how much better life is when I just let things happen and enjoy the small things. I have such a good life with so many good people in it. I have so many happy memories, as well as things to look forward to.
I am thankful for all of you!