I am no longer Carissa… I shall now and forever be known as Salmon Croquette. (Happy Birthday Meat Loaf)

It’s Meat Loaf’s 65th Birthday! Happy Birthday Meatloaf!!



I’ve always had this bizarre crush on Meat Loaf. I think it started back when I would watch The Rocky Horror Picture Show a trillion times a year.

My crush  increased a million percent when I discovered “Paradise by the Dashboard Light,”  which, to my friends disappointment, has become my all time favorite road trip song EVER. You will nary find me driving for more then 30 miles without this song bursting through my speakers in all it’s 13 minutes of glory.

At one point I even wanted to be Meat Loaf. I was taking a musical improv class, and throughout the course we were supposed to pick one singer in particular to emulate. Naturally, I picked Meatloaf. I spent hours studying his mannerisms and vocals. About half-way through the course my work shop teacher asked me nicely, to please choose a female singer. I never went back.

I mean, what’s not to love about Meat Loaf, right? He’s an amazing singer. He’s kooky. He’s passionate. He’s weird. At least half of his songs sound like musicals that I would want to be in.

Although my love for him is grand, I can’t help but be incredibly jealous that he thought to choose a food as his moniker before I did. I’ve spent countless hours trying to decide what my food name would be, I just can’t pick one.

I’ve finally got it narrowed down to:

Apple Sauce: I like this one because it says a little bit about my personality. I’m like, SAUCY!!!!  Or I thought I was, until I looked up the definition just now… saucy: Bold and lively; smart-looking.

But even so, if I changed my name to Apple Sauce, I could start wearing glasses and sweater vests every day. Also, I just really like Apple Sauce. Especially when it’s of the Blue’s Clues variety.

Banana: One word that says so much. I’m hearty. I’m sturdy. I have a short shelf life when by myself. I may effect your dopamine production. I’m crazy.

Iced Cream: This is one of my favorites for so many reasons. The word “ice” brings to mind “cool,” which is something that I strive to be in a future life. “Cream” brings to mind the best part of something, as in “the cream of the crop.” Which is also something that I’m not, but would love to be. Have I mentioned that I work at an ice cream shop part time? Or that my improv troupe is called iScream Sandwich??? Coincidence? I think not.

Salmon Croquette: I have nothing to justify this one, except for the fact that Salmon Croquettes are the most superior food on the planet. Seriously. They should be their own food group. Plus, it sounds classy doesn’t it. I can hear it now… “Please give a round of applause for Sallllmooonnnnnn Croquettttteeeeeeeee.”

Now that I have all these great monikers to choose from, I just have to think of a talent. Then I can be just like my hero, Meat Loaf.


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  • http://asplenia.blogspot.com/ asplenia

    I heart you!! I heart you so much. You are so much freaking fun. <3

  • http://en-gb.facebook.com/carissajade Carissa McAtee

    Aww I heart you right back!