Why I’m a terrible woman and don’t care…

I make a terrible lady.

Never mind the fact that I rarely wear makeup, I’ve never owned an item of clothing that costs more than $40, and I can’t for the life of me sit with my legs crossed (does indian style count?) much less sit with my legs on the floor when I’m in a chair, and I’ve been known to be crude as balls…  but sometimes I feel bad for being such a poor representation of a woman. I swear, every time I speak about blow jobs or passing out in a public space on the radio, I can hear tens of women across the city rolling their eyes.

I can’t help it though. I’ve never had a filter, and I am who I am. I’m lucky that I have so many people in my life who don’t seem to mind, once they get over the initial shock factor of whatever I’ve said. Plus, if we want equality and what-not-don’t we have to change the norm? I want women to be able to feel as open talking about their wants and desires as men. I don’t want to feel ashamed for having a past, and I don’t want to change who I am to fit a stereotype.

So while I may not be the best representative for the women specimen, I am all about women speaking their minds when it’s important. I’m all for equal rights, a woman’s right to choose, and I really think the world won’t be a fair place until they figure out a way for women to pee standing up.

I don’t, however; think that we should waste our time getting upset over sexism in media and advertising. Just as we (most of us) will always gossip, are attracted to sparkly pretty things, and are turned on by romance- men are (and always will) be turned on by boobs. And I’ve found myself more and more annoyed at women of the inter-webs getting their panties in a wad at ridiculous nonsensicals.

On the same note, that’s what makes the internet a wonderful place. We CAN voice our opinion about whatever we want to, and if there are people out there who are bothered by ads targeted at men, then more power to you. I’m also acutely aware that I’m mostly to blame for my own annoyance by constantly perusing women oriented sites like Jezabel. What can I say? I’m a fan of self-torture. But I will continue to laugh every time I read an article by a woman upset that her favorite beer’s advertisements are directed at men. For example: this article found in The Gloss in which the author asked if readers were upset by a beer can designed to look like a woman in fishnets. Granted, the author stated that she was definitely not offended (and neither were the commenters) but I’ve read dozens of articles lately where people have been.

My point is, why bitch when we can do something about it? Let’s make our own sexist product! And I have the perfect solution. I don’t have the means to make it at this point, so I’m trusting that if you go out and make this yourself-you’ll share some of the millions with me.

Now that’s something I would buy!


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  4. That time I almost beat a woman to death with frozen chicken…
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  • Veg

    Well I am happy you’re posting regularly again because yay! And I’m a terrible lady as well but fuck it, is not my problem if that offends anyone either. You rock on with your bad self, girl.

  • Cactus5red

    you are funny, my dear!