November: Tis the season to have ambition… ish.

What the hell 2010? Where did you go? Last time I checked it was spring and I was getting ready for a long summer boat rides and camping trips…

Seriously though, I think I’m OK with the fact that my life has literally flown by before my eyes. At least October is over. October was a little bitch this year. Actually, looking back it was a bitch last year and the year before too. I think next year I’m just going to ignore October all together.

November though, now that’s a month I can deal with. There are so many things happening. So many things to take in. So many things I need to get done before the years over.

November, I hereby pronounce you my bitch. I’ll treat you well and in return you will keep me happy and busy and sane. OK? OK.

I really wanted to try to do that #NABLOHOMO thing, or whatever those letters are that you ambitious people  use to state that you are writing a novel in November. However, since October was an ungracious assholio that left me withering and crying on the floor begging to be hand-fed Cinnamon Toast Crunch, I’ve decided that I’m going to start with just trying to write a little something everyday. OK not EVERYday, but most days… either here or on the other place that I write. I’m also going to try to start reading blogs again. I know… this is all completely out of left field and seemingly drastic given my recent track record, but I’m going to at least try.

On top of trying to write and read like the scholarly person that I am, (HAHAHA) I’ve decided to set some other lofty goals for myself this November.

Movember: It’s a special time of year… A time that I love, not only because of the cause that’s behind the “mouvment,” but also because I really have an affinity for the mustache. Don’t get me wrong, they can be really creepy, but mostly they can be hot. Even when they do happen to be creepilicious, they give me something to laugh about, so basically the mustache is a win/win.

 

Creepy/Funny/Hopefully ironic mustache.

Good Mustache

 

(Huge thank you and a giant chest- bump to @Hipstercrite for reminding me that the above image of Burt exists, and so many other awesome things as well. I haven’t been able to comment much lately on anyone’s blog, but this lady’s blog has kept me very entertained the last few weeks.)

Anyway, I could go on about the mustache for days, and I probably will in an upcoming post, but this one is supposed to be about me.

As manly and handsome as they may be, I’ve got my own plans this Movember. Yes it’s true, I’ve decided that this month I will try my damndest NOT to grow a mustache. I know it will be hard, but it can be done. It’s no secret that I’ve been in a bit of a slump these last few months, but it’s time to pull myself together. It’s time I start brushing my hair, make a dentist appointment, and pull out my old friend Nair. It won’t be fun; it will be painful… but it CAN be achieved. If you want to donate money to me for every day that I maintain a womanly, un-ape-like appearance, I’ll gladly give a percentage of it to prostate cancer. Otherwise, I’ll just be doing it for the sake of woman-kind.

A Do-Run Run Run, A Do Run Run: My grandmommy always told me that “hate” is a strong word, so I reallydo  try to refrain from using it. However, I not only like to use the word “hate” when I’m talking about running, but I like to use it often, and usually in the sentence “I effing hate running.”  In fact, not only do I hate running, but I really detest it, and I’m pretty sure detest is a stronger synonym for the word “hate,” which makes the fact that I’ve decided to become a runner all the more Twilight Zone-ish.

I don’t actually know what has come over but I figure it’s time I set a fitness goal for myself. I keep saying that I want to get back to working out every day, but I can’t seem to find the ambition to do so. I figured that if I pick something completely ridiculous, like run a half marathon in three months, and announce that I’m doing it to the internet, that I will at least make an effort not to fail.

I started training for the run tonight. I’m afraid I didn’t get off to the best start.  I put on my running shoes, stuck my ear buds in, and took off down the block. I only got about fifteen yards before I realized I had forgotten to put on a sports bra, which you ladies know is a rookie mistake. I decided not to turn back, but instead turned up the volume on Paul Simon’s “Graceland,” and dance-walked my ass off. I swear, that Paul Simon makes my bootie shake somethin’ else.

So tomorrow I start running, for reals.

Not Drink:

…….

……….

*Crickets*

…….

Oh come on. Yeah right.

Well kinda.

Basically, I have decided to refrain from drinking during the week. It’s already been over a month.. woohoo! I made a little deal with myself. Rather than spend money on bottles of wine, I’ve decided that for every week that I go without drinking, I get to buy 3 (or 4) albums on itunes. For now, I’m sticking with the classic rock genre. I’ve decided that there are too many bands out there that I appreciate well enough, meaning I’ve collected all of their “Greatest Hits” and “Essentials,” but I’ve never really taken the time to delve into their albums.

This week (so far) I’ve been pleasuring my earballs with the aformentioned “Graceland,” and George Harrison’s “All Things Must Pass.” If you have any suggestions of “must-have” albums, please let me know.

Alright, I’m spent. Thinking about all these things I’m supposed to do this month has made me really tired.

I miss your faces and am excited about rejoining the land of the living. (I’m also excited about watching “The Walking Dead,” again next week because that show is badass!)

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  • Anonymous

    I already have a mustache. Does that mean I win?

  • http://www.nikkidz.blogspot.com Nikki

    Don’t worry, I’m buying enough wine for the both of us. If you send me your address I’ll send you a bottle of Nair. But then you’ll get tons of Nair and become a hoarder and I can just imagine what your house will smell like with decomposing Nair bottles all over the place. I wonder if that stuff could disolve a subfloor?

  • http://livitluvit.com LivitLuvit

    Dudette, I am RIGHT THERE with you on Movember. That shiz cracks me up.

  • http://brookefarmer.com Brooke_farmer

    I tried really, really, REALLY hard one time to turn myself into a runner. I bought special shoes and read books on proper training and ran every day for a month and a half. At the end I realized that I still hated running and that the elusive runners high is probably just bullshit that runners talk about so that the rest of us don’t think they’re effing nuts for running when nothing big and scary is chasing them.

    But maybe that’s just me.

    But I do love that Graceland album. And you should buy all things Bob Dylan.

  • http://twitter.com/RedHeadedWriter J

    That Burt Reynolds picture completely wiped my brain clean…so all I can manage to say is…

    Good …running…luck…naked hairy man…

  • http://www.nikkdz.blogspot.com Nikki

    Girl you need to get some friends that can cook. Arranging flowers is once you’re engaged 😉

  • Anonymous

    I fear that I’m going to have the same outcome as you my friend. It’s only day 2 and already I’m using the rain as an excuse not to run. I mean it’s not like I have a gym membership or anything. My bad.

  • Buffy Charlet

    Soooo many things! First off, I wore a mustache for Halloween and well, I never wanted to take it off. I think it’s the only accessory a girl could ever need.

    Second, I always have wanted to do that write a novel in November thang too, but seem to always find excuses not to liiiiiiiike my Bravo tivo list is too long.

    Third, RADNESS about your half marathon training!!! Good for you woman!! Running blows balls, but it’s such a good workout. (unfortunately)

    And lastly, I’ve been doing the no drinking M–Th thing too. It’s hard huh? But I feel pretty good about myself so I guess that’s worth it?

  • Candicewalsh

    absolutely love how viral this whole campaign has become. We should start a similar one for breast cancers, where we have to grow…breasts?

  • Anonymous

    Right? Mustaches rock my world.

  • Anonymous

    I’m pretty sure it could. But My house already smells like Nair…

  • Anonymous

    I do!~ I’ve been trying to learn myself…, but it takes time it seems…

  • Anonymous

    Moustaches rock!! I have been a firm supporter of moustaches and founder of Moustache Tuesday (a holiday I made up while at a bar full of hipsters). However, I did not know about Movember until today. I too will try not to grow a moustache to show my support, however I encourage all men to grow one. Oh, and get one of those adorable moustache combs with carrying case!