I realize that sometimes, I take things a little too far.
I obsess, that’s just my nature.
Like my love for John Cusack… I’m sure you, internet, are even sick of hearing about it at this point. But still I trudge on and I will announce my love for all the world to hear once again…
I LOVE YOU JOHN CUSACK.
There I feel better. But not amazing.
I LOVE YOU JOHN CUSACK AND I WILL HAVE YOUR BABIES AND TICKLE YOUR ARMS EVERY NIGHT.
Now I’m rocking.
I take things too far in other ways too.
Despite the fact that I love performing comedy, I’ve never been particularly good at telling jokes, especially ones that other people wrote. However, I had a a favorite joke when I was young, and I told it all the time.
There was once a young boy, and when he turned 3- his dad asked what he wanted for his birthday.
He told his dad he wanted 2 ping pong balls. One red and one blue.
The next year on his 4th birthday, his dad asked what he wanted for his birthday…
He told his dad he wanted 4 ping pong balls, 2 purple and 2 blue.
On his fourth birthday he told his dad he wanted 8 ping pong balls. 1 pink, 2 red, 2 orange, and 3 turquoise.
ect, ect, ect..
Then his dad dies..
Then he has a son of his own, and his son says “Dad what do you want for your Birthday?”
And he says, “Son, one day I will explain this all to you, but for my 30th Birthday – I want 37 ping pong balls. 30 magenta, 2 brown, and 5 neon green.
ect, ect, ect…
4 hours later..
The dad is on his death bed and his son asks for his final request, he says “onnnneeeee whittteee ping pong balllllll.”
The son asks his dad what was up with all the ping pong balls all these years… “Well son, it was because… becccaauussseeee……”
And then he dies.
You don’t have to tell me… I know! That was the worst joke ever. And if I told it the way I used to, it would take about 3 hours to read…. but still it made me laugh to see other’s go through so much suffering at my expense.
I love taking a joke too far, that’s all there is to it. A few years ago, my best friend almost befriended me because I made up a pointing game. I would think of any hand movement that inadvertently pointed to her, and she just about lost it. It went on for months. It was HILARIOUS to me. Not so much to her.
Well, it seems the world is finally getting back at me.
Every night for the last few weeks my roommate has filled up the Brita with water.
Every night I semi-watch her do so, yet I don’t take it in.
Every night within 15 seconds of her filling the Brita up with water, I pour myself a glass of water.
And every night the lid falls off and water spills all over the floor.
I suspect she thinks I’m doing it on purpose at this point. So not the case.
I’m not sure if my life has become a mockery of one of my passions, or what… but I do feel like it has become a mockery of one of my most favorite sketches EVER. (Mr. Show)