Making Bad Things Good. And other shizzle.

Somehow I’ve managed to keep up this positive attitude state of mind.

OK that’s a lie. But mostly it’s not. I’ve really tried, and I think it’s working. I’ve been going to yoga every night. I’ve been meditating for at least 4 minutes before I start thinking about food. And more than anything, I’ve really kept most negative thoughts abay.

That’s a lie too.

Negative thoughts cross my mind all day long. I don’t know how to stop them. I DO think that I’ve found a solution though. Or at least a temporary fix. It’s simple. Every time I think of something negative, I accept it and then just justify it with something that I do feel positive about.

An example? OK.

You know what really sucks stinky poo?

When you get that dreaded email from your bank saying something like “You have asked to be alerted when your bank account drops below a certain level. It is now below that level.”

FUUUUDDGEEE. Seriously, where does all the money go? I mean I get paid week to week, so I know I can make it.. but still, I’m on a budget yo. I’m gonna have to have a baby for someone or quit buying songs on itunes or SOMETHING!

But you know what makes it all better?

Knowing that I spent my money in a wonderful way. The boo and I literally had our own Deep Ellum pub crawl. We went to every bar in walking distance and only had a drink at each. It added up… but so worth it.

You know what makes me want to kill small children?

When “Mambo No. 5 ” comes on my Pandora. Seriously. I like nothing even remotely close to this song. It hurts my soul and my heart and my brain.

But you know what makes me smile despite the fact that “Mambo No. 5” has played twice in the last week?

Smile Smile’s new video for “Truth On Tape.” I still love them so much.

You know what makes me want to scream expletives at my grandpa?

Pain. Human pain. Of the physical category.

But you know what makes me want to have Steve Buschemi’s babies?

Knowing that the pain came from a weekend of marathon getting it on. What qualifies as marathon you ask? Nineya yo business.

That and my new tattoo. I’ve always wanted a comedy and tragedy mask tattoo. I think it stems from my long love of the theater and comedy. But now that I’m trying to adapt to this new “positive thinking” style of life, I decided that I wanted something that was a little more positive. I wanted something that I could look at that would remind me how good life is. So I went with this…

You know what makes me want to eat a pound of cheesecake and cry?

The fact that the hair on my foot in this picture makes me look like a man.

But you know what makes that OK?

Nothing. I’m a lazy excuse for a woman. But then again, I think I’m OK with that.


Related posts:

  1. A few words. Word.
  2. Good times and These taste buds are a changin!
  3. Notes from the other night
  4. I owe it all-a to my momma. Hollah!
  5. This may be my most embarrassing confession yet. I’ve got the fever. And I’m Creepy.
  • Vegetable Assassin

    Dude, Steve Buscemi, really?

    Hell I used to have a crush on him myself years ago. He sure is funny looking. But I like funny looking. One day his eyes are going to pop right out of his head. So I’ll allow YOU to do the getting it on with him, okay? Okay.

  • Kat Campbell

    Naw, I love your tattoo (and seriously, we can’t even see the foot hair)!

    My only tattoo, procured at the wise old age of 16, says “laugh” in Chinese. I think I was in the same headspace… and my tattoo really does make me smile, I hope yours does too :-)

  • Anonymous

    First, I love the tattoo.

    Second, I don’t know who that Steve guy is.

    Third, if you killed your bank manager, they wouldn’t send you those emails, so you wouldn’t have to deal with the pain of getting one of those emails.

    Fourth, banks dont do that in Australia. Assholes.

  • BeckEye

    Oh man, I HATE Mambo No. 5 with the heat of a thousand suns. I would write a strongly worded letter to Pandora.

  • Nikki

    I honestly don’t see any hair on your foot. When I used to dance, we had one boy at our studio we called greasy Eric. He did a dance to Mambo no. 5 once for a competition and the studio made him change his song. Thank GOD!

    You can have my baby…but I don’t have enough money to pay you AND pay to inseminate you so you’ll just have to sleep with my Husband.

  • JustMe

    Marathon lovin’?

    Ain’t nothin to complain about when it comes to THAT! I’d walk weird for a month if it meant I was getting it on all the time.

    Congrats. And welcome to the tattooed tribe. :)

  • The Idiot Speaketh

    Steve Buschemi? Steve Buschemi? THE Steve Buschemi?

  • steff

    i totally get the steve buscemi thing. i can’t say WHY i get it, just that i do. i have a thing for weird-lookin funny guys.

    foot/toe hair is just plain evil. i have it too but i shave it off except when im feeling ESPECIALLY OCD and then i pluck those fuckers out one by one…

    ps – love the tat!

  • Amber Tidd Murphy

    hahahahaha. i think i almost forgot how much i love you. and then i read this post. :)

  • dani

    I adore your tattoo and I spy no hair in the picture whatsoever.

    Also, you know the only thing worse than those bank emails that say you have no money? When you get the ones that say you have reached the top notification limit and then you pay bills and later the same day you get the bottom notification email. But at least that means you have a home and electric lights for another month.

  • Sam

    Hey, I’m new around these parts.. found your blog via 20SB. Dumb question – is there a way to “follow” you like there is on Blogger?


  • Anonymous

    Hairy feet? That’s not hairy at all. You should see mine. I’m like a freaking hobbit.

  • Kat Campbell

    If you go into your Blogger Dashboard, you should be able to add the URL to “Blogs I’m Following” by clicking the Add button. Hope that helps :-)

  • Anonymous

    Yup! Kate is correct~! It took me forever to figure that out.. Also you can hut the “subscribe” button- It’s orange up there on the right, and you should be able to subscribe there as well!! Thanks for stopping by~!

  • Ellen@FirednFabulous

    Well, if you makes you feel any better, my bank account has dropped LOWER than that level. It’s depressing as shit, but I always find a way to make it work!

  • Hip Hop Hippie

    Yoga every night after work?! Goddamn! Good for you woman!! And sweet new tattoo! Love you!!

  • kathryn

    Aw. There’s no discernible hair on that foot….so, no worries.

    I, too dread that email that tells me I’ve dropped below the pre-determined amount at the bank. It’s freakin’ depressing….regardless of whether there’s more coming…which there’d better be!

  • Kara

    Hilarious! It just kept getting better and better… I love Steve Buschemi and his crazy eyes! I felt bad when I saw your tattoo and didn’t read what you said about it first… totally thought it was a tattoo gone wrong. But that’s a cute idea, especially for us pessimists.

  • mylittlebecky

    aaaa! i love the *two* smiles! brilliant! :)

  • Candicewalsh

    Oooh, love the tat! Chin up. Come visit me? I wish I were having marathon fun of the non-running variety.

  • blunt delivery


    no thing could make me want to have steve buschemi’s babies.

    we have to part ways on that one

  • Sherri

    I’ve been M.I.A. lately and need to do some serious blog-catching-up. But for now… STEVE BUSCHEMI???? ewwwwwwwwwwwwww.

  • Jas

    The only thing worse than Mambo No. 5 is Mambo No. 5: Kids Bop editions.

  • Chasingeducation

    I have a thespian mask tattoo too!