Somehow I’ve managed to keep up this positive attitude state of mind.
OK that’s a lie. But mostly it’s not. I’ve really tried, and I think it’s working. I’ve been going to yoga every night. I’ve been meditating for at least 4 minutes before I start thinking about food. And more than anything, I’ve really kept most negative thoughts abay.
That’s a lie too.
Negative thoughts cross my mind all day long. I don’t know how to stop them. I DO think that I’ve found a solution though. Or at least a temporary fix. It’s simple. Every time I think of something negative, I accept it and then just justify it with something that I do feel positive about.
An example? OK.
You know what really sucks stinky poo?
When you get that dreaded email from your bank saying something like “You have asked to be alerted when your bank account drops below a certain level. It is now below that level.”
FUUUUDDGEEE. Seriously, where does all the money go? I mean I get paid week to week, so I know I can make it.. but still, I’m on a budget yo. I’m gonna have to have a baby for someone or quit buying songs on itunes or SOMETHING!
But you know what makes it all better?
Knowing that I spent my money in a wonderful way. The boo and I literally had our own Deep Ellum pub crawl. We went to every bar in walking distance and only had a drink at each. It added up… but so worth it.
You know what makes me want to kill small children?
When “Mambo No. 5 ” comes on my Pandora. Seriously. I like nothing even remotely close to this song. It hurts my soul and my heart and my brain.
But you know what makes me smile despite the fact that “Mambo No. 5” has played twice in the last week?
Smile Smile’s new video for “Truth On Tape.” I still love them so much.
You know what makes me want to scream expletives at my grandpa?
Pain. Human pain. Of the physical category.
But you know what makes me want to have Steve Buschemi’s babies?
Knowing that the pain came from a weekend of marathon getting it on. What qualifies as marathon you ask? Nineya yo business.
That and my new tattoo. I’ve always wanted a comedy and tragedy mask tattoo. I think it stems from my long love of the theater and comedy. But now that I’m trying to adapt to this new “positive thinking” style of life, I decided that I wanted something that was a little more positive. I wanted something that I could look at that would remind me how good life is. So I went with this…
The fact that the hair on my foot in this picture makes me look like a man.
But you know what makes that OK?
Nothing. I’m a lazy excuse for a woman. But then again, I think I’m OK with that.