I Made it fools! I survived! And other realllllly interesting things.

Looking good internets.

At least from what I’ve been able to tell from the 8 minutes I’ve been able to be online the last 7 days.

I know, I know… You were all very worried about me. You probably didn’t think I survived my week by my lonesome. I mean the chances were exponentially high that I would blow myself up, or catch the house on fire, or go do something incredibly stupid like try to nair my entire body. Which um. I totally didn’t do. And even if I did try, it certainly didn’t work. Either that, or it all grew back in the course of 3 days.

Oh you didn’t even notice I was gone? You didn’t miss my snarky facebook updates or notice the fact that I sent out nary a tweet complaining about body hair? (And not just because it was gone) WHAT!?

Well screw you then. And so is your face. And your mom goes to college.

Gosh I suck at this today.

The truth is, having a life presence on the internet is extremely hard when your roommate is the one with the laptop, and being on the net means sitting in a lonely quiet office and is incredibly boring and really far from the kitchen.

That, and every time I thought I had a few minutes of spare time, something incredibly important would come along.

Like… my office is getting audited. It’s purgatory for most people, but for me- it’s like the furthest depth of hell. I so suck at numbers. I know everyone says they suck at numbers but I blow hard. Ever notice how suck and blow mean exactly the opposite yet also mean the exact same thing? Have I pondered this before? Perhaps I’m losing my mind.

Anyway, I am really, really bad at math, and I have been having to do quite a bit of that lately. Granted it’s mostly just simple arithmetic that my calculator or excel sheet can do for me, but still… It scares me. It makes me miss my 9th grade algebra teacher. He would notice my heavy breathing, sweat, and audible sobs during math exams and would write little notes on my test that said things like “breathe!” accompanied with a smiley face, and that for some reason made me feel better. It probably would have been especially helpful in college when I failed algebra four times and ended up having to beg my counselor to allow me to take junior college statistics instead. I made an A in statistics, mostly because I could draw little pictures to figure out all the problems.

Apart from the audit, other important things happened too.

For one, So You Think You Can Dance, is back on and I am back to being extremely addicted. It is literally the best show ever to hit the airwaves. Aside from Seinfield, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Scrubs, Party of Five, and Kids in the Hall that is.

I also realized lately that Star Trek New Generation episodes are on all the time on one channel or another, and I really like to watch them. I know I’m a loser.

Also, I spent at least 2 hours freaking out the other night after I stepped on a live slug and had a staring contest with a demon possum. The two events happened within 5 minutes of each other, and I swear my soul almost spontaneously combusted.

Ok so this was the lamest post ever, but I now have precisely 8 minutes to make my house look like it hasn’t been hit by a hurricane before LA returns. I also have to gather up the courage to pick up the dead roach that has been lying on the carpet for the last 5 days. That, or I’ll tell LA that it just died. I can’t decide.

I’m not sure when I will return in full throttle, but I will be back. Soon. Tonight I have to go prepare for another Story telling performance, so I’m sure I’ll make you another lame video of me practicing.

If you’re in the Dallas area, be sure to check out Story Stage You on Thursday night. Deets can be found on the link.

Hugs.