I owe it all-a to my momma. Hollah!


Yesterday was my mommy’s birthday.

I won’t tell you how old she is, but since she has recently taken an interest in my blog, I have decided to dedicate a post to the awesomeness that is my mother. I mean she did create me, right? At the very least we can halfway blame that on her.

But really. I think I can honestly say that I can owe a lot of who I am (the better parts) to my dear mom.

When I was young, my mom didn’t work full-time until I was started high school, which was precisely the year that she started teaching again… at my high school. It could have been really bad if my mom wasn’t the cool person that she is. At first, when I thought all of her students hated her (and consequently hated me for being related) it was her idea that I use that as my “in.” So I did.

When the other kids would say things to me like, “yo, your mom’s a bitch, yo.” I started replying back with “Yo, I know… that bitch is crazy. But she wears big tall jockey underwear just so you know.” And they seemed to like it when I dissed her so they started liking me a bit more. My mom didn’t even mind. It didn’t hurt that I once had to be escorted by a security guard into her classroom.

To make a long story short, I had this biology teacher who was very mean. She also smelled of phemaldehyde, which made me want to vomit daily. I finally got the bright idea to put Bath and Body Works lotion on my hands so that I could put my hands over my face when she walked by so that I would smell Plumeria rather than dead rabbit. When the other students saw what I was doing, they all wanted to get in on my genius idea. Pretty soon, I looked around the classroom and every single person was covering their face with their hands which made me crack up uncontrollably. My teacher asked what I was laughing at, and I obviously couldn’t tell her, so I told her  “it has nothing to do with you.”

For some reason this pissed her off, and she said to me “march yourself out into the hallway,” which is exactly what I did. I marched. Like a soldier… or a Rockette. My biology teacher REALLY didn’t like that so she had a security guard (my school was ghetto) escort me to my mom’s classroom, which was still  in session. Her students were very happy to see that I was in trouble, just like they usually were, and automatically thought I was a bit cooler.

In addition, I got to use her classroom as a locker and I stole all her caramel apple suckers and passed them out to her students when she wasn’t looking.

But I digress. Making me cool in high school is only one of the reasons I love my mom. And on a side note, these days, I don’t know any students who don’t love my mother. I’ve met many over the years, and they all have nothing but good things to say about her.

My mom, my sis and I: Circa 1987
My mom, my sis and I: circa 1987

Here are just a few of my favorite memories:

* She took me to the zoo literally, every week. She let me get popcorn and peanuts and let me feed the animals even though the signs clearly read “Do Not Feed The Animals.” Even better, she encouraged me to tap on cages of the snakes and reptiles. She knew just how to make the papa rattle snake hiss. Last week when we went to the zoo for mother’s day, she proved to me that she STILL had what it takes to stir the rattlesnake into a tizzy. And she swears it was the same angry snake that we used to nag so many years ago.

* My mom never let me go without. Even though I know we couldn’t afford it, she always made sure that I had something cute to wear to all the important events. She also knew how to pick out the best earrings. I had a huge collection of earrings that included big coke bottle tops, sharks eating people, and huge eyeballs. Even later in life, she always encouraged me to dress how I wanted, even if it wasn’t in style at the time. She took me to vintage stores and instilled in me a love for retro clothing. When I was in Junior high, she even made me homemade bell bottoms with an old tye-dyed shirt.

*She taught me how to wrap houses. For those of you unfamiliar, wrapping is what some of you may have called “toilet papering” a house. She would drive my friends and I around to all the popular boy’s houses, and wait patiently until we were chased away with a water hose. Then, when we got home, she would wait with us in the bushes until they came over to retaliate.

*She gave me my intense love for music. I remember so many days when we would drive to school or swimming lessons with a cassette tape blaring The Beatles, Van Morrison, The Cowsills or Mr Big. She may now be a little embarrassed when I sing loudly in department stores, but she really shouldn’t be, for she is the one who taught me to sing loud and be merry. And I do, everyday.

*She instilled in me a love for all things scary, especially zombies. Some people may look down on the fact that she introduced me to scary movies at such a young age, but I wouldn’t have it any different. Some of my favorite nights in my life were the nights that we would spend cuddled up in her bed watching zombie movies. I remember many nights that my dad would put me to bed, and she wouldn’t even get mad when I snuck back up to play “Zombies ate My Neighbors” with her until late in the night.

Really, this barely puts a dent in all that she has done for me.

More than anything, my mom has taught me that it’s ok to be different. She taught me to laugh, and to embrace the quirky. She gave me a love for reading and dancing and always supported me through all of my endeavors. She has always had faith in me and has shown me a love that only a mother can do. She always believed in me and taught me to believe in myself, even when others didn’t. And she continues to teach me to be a better person every day of my life.


Mom, if you’re reading this- I forgive  you for all mornings when you woke me up blaring the Star Trek theme song. I forgive you for giving me a fear of boogers (threatening me with them when I acted up in the car) and for my fear of sharks (reading me shark attack stories on the way to the beach).

I know we’ve had some tough times, but in the long run, none of that will matter. What I will always remember is how you have always been there for me. You have always been a person I strive to be, and I look up for you for all that you have done with your life and for how many people you have touched. You are honestly the best mom and friend a gal could have. I love you so much and I hope that you have a wonderful birthday!

I love you!


And as a bonus, I don’t think I mentioned how talented my mom is at making videos. You can check out some of her videos on her youtube channel, but I also want to share a video she made (we both filmed) when we went to the zoo on Mother’s day.

Have a great weekend!!!!


Related posts:

  1. This may be my most embarrassing confession yet. I’ve got the fever. And I’m Creepy.
  2. The Grossest Sneeze Ever, and Books + Coffee= (???) A little bit of TMI
  3. My Life In Numbers… And Yet Another “Breakup.”
  4. A few more than 3 cheers-es-es… (sp?)
  5. Love my life! But a little bit of FML (Because it IS Friday!)
  • ScoMan

    Wow. Your mum sounds very cool. Happy birthday to her.

    And In The Jungle seems like a good way to top of this post. It's such a happy song.. and it's a little bit weird as well.

    My mum gave me a love of all things scary as well, but these days she's a wuss. I pretty much got her love for scary things because she gave me all her scary books because she thought they'd be too scary to read these days.

    I think freaking out the rattle snakes is about the best thing I have ever heard of a parent doing.

  • thebacksofmyeyelids

    What a lovely tribute to your mom, CJ! I'm sure she'll be very touched!

    However, because she's your mom, if she reads your blog with any regularity, may the Lord bless and keep her. :)

    Happy Birthday Mom!!

  • Toogie

    I love you my pumpkin! Thank you. But your weirdness is quite unique – lol!

  • http://perfectlycursedlife.com/ Kimwithak

    What a beautiful post. I'm sure she loved it!

  • herding cats

    Your mom sounds awesome – like just an incredible person! This is such a sweet post, and I hope she reads it and has an amazing birthday!

  • http://idothings.info JD at I Do Things

    Oh, man. Can I tell you how much I enjoyed reading this???

    Your mom sounds so freaking cool. I loved all the stories and want to read more. I probably would've died if my mom had been a teacher at my school, but she made sure you came out of it OK.


  • http://www.facebook.com/standoffebb Steff Spina

    i so loved this. what you said about your mom and all the reasons she's awesome remind me a LOT of my own mom.
    happy birthday to her!

  • sherryrose

    seems like you/your mom might enjoy this (if you haven't seen it already): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=osWuWjbeO-Y

  • ktcotton

    Love love loved this post CJ!!!

    Happy belated bday Toogie! & I would like to thank you for always putting up with me when CJ and I would hang out in Waco when trying to escape Denton for a few days! You always made me feel welcome, you always had breakfast ready, you cleaned up after our messes, and you always sent us back to Denton with yummy road trip snacks (even a spit cup for our sunflower shells), it was awesome!! :)

  • hiphophippie

    Awww, hooray for Moms!!! What an awesome post!

  • Eric

    OMG…please tell me you were talking about Mrs. Bearden! That woman was LOONY.

  • ambermurphy

    I love Plumeria~ and your Mom. 😉

    What a nice post to honor her. You are so sweet. Sorry about her booger threats, though. (However, I understand. I blame a ton of my fears on my mother, too.)

  • http://www.lucysreality.com Lucy

    This was so sweet and I am betting the best present your mom got!

  • http://www.thatstangly.com Candice

    Awww, Happy Birthday Carissa's mom! I love that she yours your blog. My mom would lose her mind if she read mine.

  • http://bluntdelivery.com bluntdelivery

    aw what a wonderful and talented mommy you have! good moms rock. i'm blessed to have an amazing one myself.

  • Pollypoptart

    Your mum sounds awesome!!!

    And weirdly enough, my mum gave up working until I was in high school and then went back to teaching high school . . . luckily, it wasn't at MY school though! 😉

  • http://bellyshirts.wordpress.com Kirsten

    Aw this was so sweet! Your mom sounds awesome! I bet she loved this post. I especially love that she would threaten you with boogers if you were acting up. My mom did this but threatened to throw me in the pool..and sometimes did

  • http://mrskandcaptainj.com Mrs. K

    Happy Birthday to Carissa's mom! You raised a hilarious yet sweet young woman so basically–you rock.

  • http://www.TheConstantComplainer.com The Constant Complainer

    A very nice tribute. Happy Birthday to a fabulous mother!

  • http://30isthenew13.blogspot.com Sada

    I thought my mom was cool because she makes us cross-stitches with swear words in them. But she'd never teach us how to toilet paper a house! So you win.

    Seriously, I loved this one. Your mom sounds amazing. Happy belated birthday, Carissa's mom!

  • http://30isthenew13.blogspot.com Sada

    I thought my mom was cool because she makes us cross-stitches with swear words in them. But she'd never teach us how to toilet paper a house! So you win.

    Seriously, I loved this one. Your mom sounds amazing. Happy belated birthday, Carissa's mom!