A Story… and overcoming a life-long fear… (shuttup)

OK, So I know I promised I would be back this week, but after the events of my weekend, I really needed to take a little time to collect my thoughts. Things have been downright crazy here in Carissaville, what with starting a new job and trying to deal with a lot of heavy shiz that has been going on in my life.

This week though, I decided to dedicate most of my time to me and getting my life back in order. It’s not like things in my own personal life have gotten ridiculously out of touch, but I did need to do a bit of soul searching.

I cleaned my room, learned how to wash my face (with the help of Aunt Bitch), started working out again, and barely even took a sip of alcohol all week. Until tonight, of course. But with good reason, bare with me. And even after NOT DRINKING, somebody at worked asked me if “I had a good time last night.” I was like, “ummmm not really… why?” He then informed me that he thought he smelled booze on me this morning.

I guess it’s possible that since it was only Thursday there was still a little booze on me from last week, but seriously??? In all my years of drinking, I’ve never had anyone tell me I smell of alcohol the night before. Then I make a very controlled effort NOT to drink for a week and someone tells me I smell like booze!?!? Oh well…

So… tonight was kind of a big deal for me.  I’ve been involved in theater and dance my entire life, and have been doing improv comedy for almost 9 years. I thrive on being onstage in character… but I have terrible stage fright when it comes to actually being myself onstage in front of people. I don’t know why it is such a big deal.  I love telling my friends (and strangers) the stories of my ridiculous life over drinks and here on the web, but for some reason, I always completely freak out when it comes to public speaking.

Tonight I finally conquered my fears and told a story at a Story Slam, where there were several storytellers speaking about the same topic. Tonight’s topic was “A Date to Remember.” I decided to tell the story about how I went to New York City to celebrate my 22nd Birthday, only to have the city completely blackout for three days about an hour after we landed.

Here is a video of me practicing. I don’t know if my actual performance was any better than this, but it was definitely at least a little more polished. The other folks were all great, and I honestly felt quite comfortable once I got onto the stage. I think it was actually easier  performing to an audience than it is performing to a camera.


I know I have been absenteeeeee…. But I am realllllly going to try to be around a little more! I miss yall!!


Related posts:

  1. Aaaaannnnnndddddd… we sing
  2. Notes from the other night
  3. Love my life! But a little bit of FML (Because it IS Friday!)
  4. EFFF My life- A visual presentation.
  5. TMI Thursday: Skid Lake
  • http://amber-laha.blogspot.com/ Amber

    I loved that story! lol

  • ScoMan

    I love that you have your priorities right.
    “We can go to the Empire State building or get booze. We can go see the Empire State building anytime, let's get drunk”
    I think the tshirt companies blacked out the power just to sell tshirts. Just like them. They're always selling tshirts, those rotten shirt companies.
    You'll always remember your 22nd birthday.

  • Herding Cats

    I have REALLY awful luck too. For instance, when I went to New Orleans with some friends, we got on the one trolley that was being followed by middle schoolers with a gun. Little did I know that would be a huge moment that foreshadowed my entire career. Sigh….It's good to know I have people I can relate to. That's a hilarious story, and I certainly hope you get to go back someday (when there IS power). You are missed in the blogging world!

  • http://www.candicedoestheworld.com Candice

    Lol, I fully expect to see you on TV someday!

  • http://reinventingsandyb.com sandyb

    Ok, ok, this was effing AWESOME. (and there is nothing wrong with drinking mid-week… or before noon. It's art.) Anyway, I had NO IDEA you were so talented.. and I'm not even being a douchebag. For reals. Ok, so, since I quit my job and all, I've been wanting to hit the drama again – in class, not life – since I was a drama major in high school, blah blah blah.. I kinda wanna act again. I love the stage. Thinking of Second City Improv school (school?) here in Toronto. Since you're into improv.. thoughts? (btw, I accidently typed “improve” there first… does that mean something?). Whatevs. Hit me back. xx

  • http://perfectlycursedlife.com/ Kimwithak

    Congrats for you!!!

  • ambermurphy

    Dude. I want to go to New York with you and sing songs and vomit on planes when things (or people) around us are smelly.

  • hiphophippie

    I'm so happy for you!!! You rock my fucking world! I want to see it live! :)

  • thebacksofmyeyelids

    I'm happy you spent so much time getting things in your life together this week. The not drinking part is heartening to me. Don't let someone's comment about smelling booze trouble you when you hadn't been drinking. But try to remember it next time you're partying a little too much. You don't want to grow older with people automatically thinking of partying when your name comes up. It won't serve you well. Sorry I sound maternal. It's ingrained. xo

  • http://www.kidtogrownup.com/ BobbiJanay@Kid to a Grown Up

    Glad things seem to be calming down.

  • http://idothings.info JD at I Do Things

    Oh, you are so amazing and funny and adorable! I have mad respect for you, gettin' up there and doin' yo' thang (don't know why I'm talking like that — maybe it's the whole New York topic?). I could never, never do it.

    I know they loved you. As do we.

  • http://watchoutworldimatwentysomething.blogspot.com/ JustMe

    Congrats….I have a hard time speaking in public too. I used to act a LOT…up until college. Then I realized I hated it.

  • http://www.lucysreality.com Lucy

    Facing your fears is not easy, way to go!!!! I could never get up and to stand up never ever!!!! I am hoping things continue to calm down for you. Head over to my blog and grab your award!!!

  • http://littleinsomniaclolita.blogspot.com Andhari

    Facing your fears like that is a big deal, Carissa. I so admire you :)

  • http://www.redheadranting.com/ redheadranting

    Way to go on conquering those fears. You rocked! And I would love to go to NYC with you even if there was a black out.

  • http://www.postcardsandpassports.com meg

    Awesome story!!! You are amazing for getting up and doing that!

  • http://www.postcardsandpassports.com meg

    Awesome story!!! You are amazing for getting up and doing that!