Pity Party, Party of one. I’m still missing.

Hey guys.

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I had big plans this week to be an all-star blogger.

I wanted to catch up on reading blogs. I have a notebook full of ideas and some funny stuff I wanted to share with you. I wanted to get a decent night’s sleep.

Unfortunately, that’s not what life had planned for me. I’ve basically been hit by the shit storm of all shit storms.

To quote one of my new favorite movies, Where the Wild Things Are, “Being a family is hard,” and that’s the truth.

This week I’ve been faced with some of the biggest decisions of my life. We’re all going through an extremely trying time, and it’s basically life-consuming. I’m not even sure what to do anymore. I don’t think I even have anymore tears.

How do you help someone when they don’t want to be helped? How do you make someone realize they are hurting others, or shake them back to reality when they are so far removed? How do you be strong for others when you can’t even be strong for yourself?

I’m really not posting this to try to get pity. I really would like to vent more I’m just not sure this is stuff I should be sharing. Anyway, I’m going home this weekend and hopefully we can get some resolutions.

Until then…

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  • Tara

    Don't know what's going on, but it sounds family related. Family can be one of the best things ever at times but it can also suck at times. I have someone in my family that is a constant issue, so I somewhat understand. Just wanted to let you know you'll be in my thoughts. *Hugs*

    (ps: this is tara from The Life of a NewlyWife just so you know- for some reason your comment box isn't letting me post when I have my blog address in the box).

  • http://www.blogsareforlosers.com Sherri

    I'm sorry you're going through this and I hope things are resolved soon. Your question, “How do you help someone when they don’t want to be helped” might have simply been rhetorical, but I was put in that exact situation [of trying to help someone who didn't want help] a few years back. I tried my hardest and then made a difficult decision to remove myself from the situation. You CANNOT let someone else ruin YOUR quality of life and happiness. You always give a fair try. You always extend yourself however you can… BUT, if someone is unwilling to see how much they are hurting the people they are supposed to LOVE, you need to walk away until they're ready for help.

    That's only my opinion. It's been 5 years since I've spoken to my brother. It's not how I want things, but I could no longer allow his actions ruin my happiness. If he's ready to change, I'll be there 1000000%. Until then, I need to live my life to its fullest.

    I hope you're okay.

  • http://www.nikkidz.blogspot.com Nikki

    OH dear. How unfair life can be sometimes for everyone. Hang in there. Even if they don't want your help, they don't want you to turn their back on them either. Although people can reach a point when they don't know what's right for themselves and need someone else to take the wheel for awhile. Thinking of you.

  • jeneypeney

    Being a family is difficult… but pretty rewarding too.

    Stay strong, girl. Things will work out. May not be the way you wanted or thought they would, but they do work out.

  • beckeye

    I usually don't like when people type *hugs* (no offense, Tara :]) but for lack of anything better to say… *hugs*

  • http://cathyhasantsypants.blogspot.com Antsy Pants

    That sucks. Hope things get better. Like others have said, be sure to take care of yourself, sometimes you may need to back away from the situation.

  • http://www.depressionsandconfessions.com/ alexistlesa

    you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. period. you can only attempt to change your own attitude and make peace with their decisions, and hope that they'll change on their own. personally, i feel it's worth it to keep talking to people and trying to help them see how wrong they are (if they truly are in the wrong), but i have to do it from a place where i know there's a really, really good chance nothing i say will get through to them. it's more for my own reasons and my own happiness that i won't give up on someone who is being a jackass.

    good luck at home this weekend; you'll get through it, and maybe even learn something.

  • http://thepqnation.com/showandtell SillyJaime

    I hope all is well, sweetheart. <3

  • ProfessorJ

    I really liked Sherri's comment/advise and as you know I totally agree. Like we talked about…there is only so much you can do. But whatever you need I'm here!

  • http://littleinsomniaclolita.blogspot.com Andhari

    Families can be really stubborn and it's always double the work with them. Hang in there :( *hugs*

  • thebacksofmyeyelids

    Carissa, I will add you to my prayers. And, whether you believe it or not, prayer makes a HUGE difference. I hope you're talking to the Big Guy. He's right there with you.

    The sad truth is that you cannot help anyone who doesn't want to be helped or isn't ready to be helped. They have to want it for themselves or nothing will come from your efforts, but frustration, stress and pain.

    The concept of 'tough love' often comes into play in these situations. They get help or you withdraw from their life so you don't get sucked down. It's hard. I've done it.

    The concept of intervention often comes into play too. There are professionals who will lead a group of family or friends through the process.

    Take care of yourself first and foremost, or you won't be good to anyone.

    My thoughts are with you. xo

  • http://edsfunnypages.blogspot.com Ed Adams

    Hang in there kiddo.

    Take care of your bidniz and Hurry back.

  • http://mwaonline.blogspot.com Mwa

    Well, I hope you get the resolution you want. Shitstorms are shitty. I hope this one leaves you stronger and happier in the end.

  • ScoMan

    Best of luck sorting out the family problems and the person(s) involved.

    Sometimes it's hard. Sometimes people don't want to understand what they're doing to others. You just have to keep trying and hope that eventually they'll snap out of it.

  • http://www.kidtogrownup.com/ BobbiJanay@Kid to a Grown Up

    Sorry to say that you can't help them until they are ready.

  • ambermurphy

    i'll just offer my support and love and remind you to remember that you can't make anyone change, and sometimes all you can do is keep encouraging them and refuse to enable. (not that it is about drugs or anything like that, because we can enable people in tons of other areas.)

    thinking of you and whatever you are going through.

  • herding Cats

    I'll join the pity party. My family is falling apart too. Want to drink? Seriously though, take care of yourself :)

  • badassgeek

    Whatever is going on, I can tell it's affecting you big time. If you ever need a relative stranger to talk to and vent, hit me up. I'll even give you my cell if you want to talk instead of e-mail.


  • http://www.candicedoestheworld.com Candice

    Damnnn Carissa, sorry you're going through stuff. Feel free to email me? Get it off your chest? <3

  • http://www.onesteptorecovery.com starzskymoon

    Love, I understand and feel the pain and process of what you're going through. My grandmother is refusing help for a serious disease that is affecting ALL of us. I haven't even spoken to her in over a year because of it.

    If you need someone to talk to, you know the number!!! Don't be afraid to call me.

  • hiphophippie

    Noooooooo!!! I want to hug you and feed you cookies and pitchers of margies!!!

  • http://idothings.info JD at I Do Things

    Aw, chickie. I'm sorry to hear you're going through some rough stuff. Your blog friends are here for you through the funny and the sad.

  • http://lwww.lucysreality.com Lucy

    Oh, sweetie, do what you need to do!! Helping someone that isn't ready is sooo hard. Just do what you can for the person you love and whatever they will let you and what makes you feel like you are helping. It is such a tightrope and there might come a point in which letting go is your only option but until then do what you need and feel is right for all concerned!!!

  • Pollypoptart

    Hope you're okay, hon. If you need an impartial “ear”, feel free to email me. :)

  • http://www.postcardsandpassports.com meg

    sorry to hear things are sucky. feel free to drop me an email or whatever if you want to chat!
    i really have no words of advice other than to echo what others said and say that it's really hard to help somebody that doesn't want to be helped. i've been there and it's frustrating.
    i'm thinking of you!! :)

  • http://perfectlycursedlife.com/ Kimwithak

    Family stuff is hard to begin with. and it sounds like whatever you're going through is really hard. we're here for you to vent to.

  • http://www.theinternalmakeover.com kathryn

    Aw, sweetie…I'm so sorry life is giving you grief.

    I hope that you've been able to sort things out…and that whoever is hurting feels better…and that it's one big Lifetime Movie-Moment of happiness for you….

    Feel the cyber-hug? (I never do this…be impressed: (((((Carissa)))))

  • http://www.ishineoutloud.com/shine shine

    Sounds like it's time for beers, woman. When? WHERE? HOW?!?

  • http://www.ishineoutloud.com/shine shine

    Sounds like it's time for beers, woman. When? WHERE? HOW?!?