At least it wasn’t on a post it….

I’mmmm backkkk!!!!!

I know you’ve missed me. Or not.. but I’ve missed you. I can’t believe my week of stay-cating and watching movies has come to an end. But I guess as they say, all good things must come to an end.

Really though? Why? Why must good things end? The world would be a thousand times better if we simply kept the good things going.

Do you know what that would mean? Since good= John Cusack, we could watch John Cusack movies all the live long day. Since good= sunflower seeds, I could eat them for every meal. Since good=It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, they wouldn’t take really long breaks in between seasons causing me to watch stupid shows instead. Since good = ketchup, people wouldn’t look at me so weird when I use 27 packets with my lunch.


“You can never have too much of a good thing.”

I like that one better…

Anyway, so yes. My good week of not having to go into an office has ended, but I’m actually quite excited to have something to occupy my brain, which has had quite a lot to deal with the past week.

I’ve had some family drama going on, which I’m not going to go into now… because quite frankly I’m tired of thinking about it.

I’ve had to get over seeing approximately¬†84 peni, which I’m guessing is the plural for “penis,” this week on chat roulette, which I guess is sort of my own fault. Actually though, LA and I found the perfect solution for these weirdos that think that everyone wants to watch them slap their salami. We go through the whole introduction and act like we’re into it… then I stand so that the camera focuses on my crotch, slowly unzip, and pull out a banana. It’s quite entertaining to get their reaction, but then again my entertainment level equates that of a 13 year old boy.

Oh and then last night I got broken up with via text message. By a guy I’m not even sure I was dating in the first place.

I usually don’t like to blog-bash people I know in real life who don’t have a blog that they can use to defend themselves… but I can’t let this one go by without saying anything. I mean a text message!? Really? You don’t even have the courtesy to tell me to my face? To give me just a little explanation?

Truth is, this one is probably my fault too. A few months ago we tried out this whole hanging out thing, and he blew me off without an explanation, so I really kind of expected this.. but still… A text message?

We had been hanging out again recently, and truth be told- I wasn’t really feeling it and it’s not like I thought we were going to get married or anything, but it was fun.. ya know? So I figured what the hell. Then I hadn’t heard from him in a few days and I’m sick of bullshit games so last night (after a full day of pub crawling and drinking) I decided to text and ask what was up.

I have since deleted him from my phone so I can’t say for sure what was said, but I’m thinking it was something along the lines of “Soooo I’m guesssingr itss ovverrr?

His reply? Something to the likes of “I didn’t really see it going anywhere, I’d like to still be friends .”

I think after that I sent him a string of drunken texts but I have no idea what I said so I think I’d like to get that response out there now, for closure and what not.

Dear  Douchecanoe,

Well, I guess I already knew the answer before I drunkenly texted you, so I can’t be too angry with you. At least you were honest. However, I did think that you need to know that telling someone via text that you’re not interested is unacceptable. Sure, it’s better than on a post-it note, or a billboard or something… but not by much. Were we even dating in the first place? ¬†I don’t really think sitting over at your place getting drunk and watching music videos before hooking up counts as a date.

Also, I know that by me writing this, it actually sounds like I might care. This is definitely not the case. More than anything I just wanted a little bit of an explanation. I’m all about constructive criticism and was curious to know what I did that made me not even worthy of a phone call. Unless the reason is because I did something weird like fart in my sleep. Then just leave it be…

In addition, I wanted to express my annoyance with the fact that you got to end it first. Maybe that says something about my maturity level, and usually I wouldn’t care… but a text????

That’s all I wanted to say… hope we can still be friends.


Peeee Esssss…

I lied. I do think your hats are stupid.


Also, today I joined today even though part of me feels like I should bow out of this whole dating scene while I am clearly ahead.

I have missed you and hopefully tomorrow night I can catch up on reading some blogs… it’s been way too long but I just couldn’t sit in front of the computer any more than I had to!


Related posts:

  1. CH-ch-ch-ch-ch-Channnngessss and Post it note Tuesday
  2. Post it note Tuesday and It’s my first post of the New Year!
  3. Post it notes and Good friends are hard to find.
  4. My Life In Numbers… And Yet Another “Breakup.”
  5. About Once Every Six Months, I Feel I’m Entitled To A Sappy, Serious Post: What I Want Out Of 28.
  • CarissaJaded

    Oh and second comment… Maybe the best combo word would be douchengoyle!?

  • CarissaJaded

    I know, I'm sticking with him for now on.. I should have known!

  • CarissaJaded

    YES I KNOW! I missed you too!

  • CarissaJaded

    Ummm. hehehe yes.. I kind of like Mayo too. Good eye indeed. and thanks for not being a douchecanoe! I won't kill off all of the men in the world afterall!

  • CarissaJaded

    I know… I'm worried that I did.. I did wake up a little gassy…

  • CarissaJaded

    Thats what I'm thinking.. Maybe some actual positive ones..

  • Karisa Tells All

    This post is really funny! I'm sorry you got broken up with via text message, but at least it makes a good story. It reminds me of that youtube video “text message breakup.” That is literally the douchiest way to dump someone. Although it seems like you did get to end it first, since you texted him first.

    This comment box is telling me that texted isn't a word. And neither is douchiest. What's up with that?

  • Karisa Tells All

    Oh, I forgot to tell you that you have an awesome name too. But I believe mine is spelled correctly…haha I'm subscribing to you too!

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