Things this crazy head will do and people are like pissing in the wind.

I usually don’t do this, but I’m starting this post out without really a means to where I want it to go. But I guess that’s kind of my point.

I’ve been thinking a lot the last few weeks about what I want my New Years Resolutions to be. I know, I know… once again I’m super late- but it’s better late than never, right?

So I’ve been thinking of a few goals/things I want to do/things I want to do less of in 2010.

Here we go:

*Drink less. I don’t mean anything drastic like quit or anything… because come one look who you’re talking to. But I do want to lead a healthier life style, and in order to do so (both physically and mentally) I figure I need to start to make more mature choices. Or rather not do as many stupid things. Because as funny as I think it is that I fell off the stage doing karaoke, even I know that is not something a 27 year old should be boasting about on the internets. However, I don’t intend to stop singing in public. That’ll never happen. Butttttt I am kicking off the year with a week of not drinking. Not at all. I’m no alchy, but I do enjoy my glass or two of wine a night. I’ll be completely honest, I probably wouldn’t start so drastically if it weren’t for the antibiotics that I am on, but it was an incintive to actually get started!

** I must note, so that you can anticipate, that very soon after my week of non-drinking is over- my new pal Austin over at Fake British Accent (check him out) and I are planning a very special blogging/drinking adventure. It will all be documented here. and there. More details coming soon, but it is certain to be an adventure.

*Read more. I have always been an avid reader, but somewhere along the last few years I have really been a slacker. I’m not even trying to set lofty reading goals here… I’ll be happy if I can get a few Jane Green or Dean Koontz novels in a month. Or if you have any suggestions for books that you love, feel free to share.

*Stick with the diet. You guys, I have really come so far. 112 lbs lost now since September 2008. I’m actually happy with my weight now, for the most part. Now I want to tone up, tone up, tone up! N0one likes a pair of saddle-bags, and I’m pretty sure I’ve been sporting some silly since my weight loss.

*Go to the frickin dentist. I won’t even admit to you how long I have been putting this off. I mean really, I am a disgusting person. I take good enough care of em, I mean I always brush at least  once twice a day and I floss every night, but still… I know for a fact I have at least one cavity. In all other areas of my health I’ve grown to actually like going to the doctor to put myself at ease. Like last week, when I found out my cancer was just a cold. Stuff like that. Maybe I’ve just seen “Little Shop of Horrors” too many times and have developed a severe case of dentistphoobia, (woah spell check didn’t tell me that word is wrong) but I need to kick it now!!

*Learn to drive these Chev-rolegs. I walk, do the elliptical, and even do spin class pretty regularly, but I’ve never been a runner. Nor do I intend to be… but after cheering on my friends at their half-marathon a few weeks ago, I figure I at least have a 5K in me.

*Get John Cusack to recognize the fact that he has no choice but to be my boyfriend. You may be getting tired of this, but I’m not gonna stop until I’m at the top of the google search for “John Cusack’s Girlfriend.”

That’s enough for me to fail at I think. Actually I think these are mostly doable. Except for maybe the running thing. The John Cusack thing is totally doable.

Oh, and one more thing that I think is gonna be kind of a toughie. I know I’ve said it before, but for the most part- I really don’t care what people think of me. I know I’m a big weirdo and people either love or hate me and that’s fine, but I think I gotta work on this crazy head. Near the end of last year, (you may have noticed from a series of debbie-downer posts) I went through a bout of semi-depression and woah’s me talk. Along with a bunch of shit that’s been goin on in my life, I started to get a little insecure with the way my life was going. I have never been like that. I started getting upset that I haven’t met any of my long-time life goals (becoming a SNL writer) or that I don’t even really have a clear plan. I’ve started to see a lot of my friends get married and have children, and they all seem to know exactly what they want out of their lives. I swear I’m not jealous of where they are or what they are doing, but I am a little jealous that they KNOW what they want to do.

I have come to the realization that maybe not having a plan is my plan. I think it is my path. I know I do need to keep with goals, but I also know that I would probably freak out if I got into a career that I couldn’t get out of. Maybe this sounds silly. Maybe it is silly. But it makes sense in my crazy head!

On top of that, I also have to realize that everyone just thinks differently. I think I spend too much time trying to get into people’s heads and figure out why they do what they do, or don’t do the things I want them to do. Just as I can look back at my last year and question some of the decisions and choices that I made, I know that I won’t ever be able to figure people out. People do what they need to do at the time, sometimes without a rhyme or reason. I guess they are kind of like piss in the wind.

And I think I can come to terms with that. Whatever will be, will be. Whatever happens, happens. And the 4o other ways there are to say that. I’m gonna learn to be cool with it and not let it drive me nutso.

So yeah, not sure if that makes sense, but I had to get that out there.

So here’s (cheers with my water) to a New Year. A successful one. One full of laughs and not so many tears. To you new friends and old ones to!

____

And on a completely different note, I’ve been thinking a little bit about the future of my blog. I’m  close to 200 posts and will hit my 6 month bloggaversary in a few weeks, and I want to try something a little different. I have often been told that I have a story for pretty much every subject (that’s just my life) so I think in order to get me writing about things other than John Cusack, I would like to ask you to do a little blog assignment.  I give you dear readers, the task of asking me any questions you want to know about little ole me (and I will answer with complete honesty unless you’re a dick) , stories you would like to hear extended versions of (My 100 things post might give you some ideas,) or any other subject matter that you would like to know my opinion on (or a poem about)…. and if I don’t have an opinion on the matter, I’ll get one!!! Just send an email to me at carissajade@gmail.com, or pop it off my comments. Thanks and I love you guys!

I also plan on doing a giveaway in the next few weeks, so keep your eyes open. I promise I won’t be giving away one of my decopauge art peices. Unless you want one I could decopauge something of your request.

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  • thebacksofmyeyelids

    Favorite line from this post: Like last week, when I found out my cancer was just a cold.

    You're misguided if you think for one minute that you should know what you want out of life. Most people don't…even if they say they do…until they've attained the wisdom of the ages and then this is what they'll tell you:
    1. It's not what you do, it's HOW you do it (i.e reverently, selflessly, with love,etc)
    2. In the end, you really only regret the things you didn't do or say. What you did do or say is a piece of what created the person you are.
    3. It all comes down to two things – who you loved and who loved you (and we're not talking romance here).

    And, oh, btw, it's human nature to care what people think of us. That's not to say we care about every person's opinion, but we. do. care.

    You will never understand everyone, but you will come to understand far too many if you pay attention.

    I would like you to write a post about:
    SANDWICHES: CUT VERTICALLY OR DIAGONALLY?
    THE ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES OF HAVING NOODLES IN YOUR SOUP

    and I've been dying to read a good haiku about a thermos. Those are just suggestions. I'm sure I'll have more. xo

  • Pollypoptart

    Good resolutions there – good luck with them!

    And in response to you asking for questions,here is my tried and tested question, which i love. Who would play you in a movie of your life? (I KNOW who would play your love interest John Cusack, haha)

  • moooooog35

    You lost me at the 'running' thing.

    I don't even like walking to my car.

    I do the elliptical, but I'm hard pressed to not look like a young Forrest Gump on the damn thing.

  • http://www.blogsareforlosers.com Sherri

    I know this might sound hokey, but have you ever read The Secret? I'm not saying you have to buy into its message, but it can definitely help rewire the way you think. I made fun of so many people for reading it before finally caving in and doing so. I have to say, if anything at all, it has helped me learn to turn a negative thought into a positive. You should give it a read. You'll walk away with a little bit of brain re-wiring whether you believe in what the book says or not.

    I don't think you should be a writer for SNL; I think you should be the star. You're hysterical. :)

  • edadams

    Ha!

    John Cusack!

    Ha!

    Good list.

  • http://megsrantsandramblings.blogspot.com/ meg

    “but I am a little jealous that they KNOW what they want to do”…oh how I identify.
    i've also been thinking randomly about trying to run a marathon (the shortest marathon possible). i wrote it on my life goals list when I was like 12, and I feel like I should probably get on that.
    also…please tell the story of when you met JTT. You have no idea how jealous I am. I loved that kid. are there pictures??

  • shellthings

    I'm so impressed by your weight loss.

    I'm headed in the wrong direction- as evidenced by the piece of pecan pie I ate for breakfast this morning.

  • http://livitluvit.com/ LiLu

    Just made a dentist appointment. And it's all YOUR fault.

    Happy New Year :-)

  • http://techparent42.blogspot.com The Technical Parent

    Read More: I recommend “The Road” by Cormac McCarthy for everything in that book. It's stark and beautiful, depressing and heartfelt all at the same time. Also, “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies” by Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith. I just started reading “Up In The Air” and so far it's fascinating. Others, not in the last year, but great reads: “Into The Wild” by Jon Krakauer, “Les Miserables” by Victor Hugo, and “The D'Artagnan Romances” by Alexandre Dumas (also known as “The Three Musketeers,” “Twenty Years After,” and “The Vicomte de Bragelonne” though sometimes this is split into five books total; “The Vicomte de Bragelonne,” “Louise de la Valliere,” and “The Man in the Iron Mask.” Seriously, so much better than any, any, any of the movie versions ever made. They just don't do the whole story justice. In fact, they skip a whole hell of a lot in in the middle when they just do the first and last pieces. Okay, enough about that and enough for this parenthetical). I have a whole host of others if you're really interested.

    -Joshua

  • http://www.nikkidz.blogspot.com/ Nikki

    Do you know how much I want you to be living in my great state right now so we could work out and our bodies and lungs together? Okay that sounds sexual…I meant exercise and sing.

    There is nothing wrong with woe is me…it means you're thinking and you have choices. Isn't that great? Just a look into someone elses crazy, some of those folks get married and think WTF. No one has a plan, some peoples lives fall into place and they just don't announce to the world that it was not what they expected. But not me. I like to tell everyone my problems and worries and assure them things were pure luck…no skill involved. That way they don't expect too much from me. It must be a defense mechanism 😉

    Just keep on truckin' girl. I love the randomness and wish you the best in 2010. I think it's going to be a good year. And for the blogs sake…take a date with turk already!!!

  • http://lifeintheleftlane.wordpress.com/ Bing

    I hear you on the trying to drink less! We tend to drink a lot, especially on the weekends. After this holiday break, I need to give my liver some time off. Yesterday was the first time I had a drink (a couple of beers) since New Year's Eve. I feel like that's a good start!

  • hiphophippie

    This is so awesome. Every year I try to come up with some sort of saying for the year, eg last year's was: “The Year To Learn How To Let Go,” oh no wait, that took me two years to learn how to do…okay, I'm still learning it (I'm a wee neurotic:) And nothing's come to me for 2010 except last night it did! “The Year to Drop the Agendas.” I'm so friggin anal and goal oriented and frustrated when things don't go exactly how I planned them, which makes it tough when you're an aspiring actor/writer because they NEVER go how you want! Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I TOTALLY relate to what you are talking about. Maybe we just need to feel ease and surrender to the concept of not having a damn plan. I'll work on it if you do. 😉

  • http://bellyshirts.wordpress.com Kirsten

    Good list of stuff!

    I want to be an SNL writer too.. or be on the show. but actually be one of the girls who is funny. Let's work on that!

  • leethehotflashqueen

    I laughed my ass off at John Cusack. Now that is an admirable goal that I think you should stick too!

  • kimwithak

    I need to go to the dentist as well. It's not even that I'm scared to, I'm just too lazy to find one that takes my dental plan.

  • http://www.theinternalmakeover.com/ kathryn

    Aw. I think you're being too hard on yourself. I know this, because I'm too hard on MYself. Maybe that could be one of our resolutions: to shop being so freakin' hard on ourselves.

    You sound like you're doing a pretty good job of policing yourself, so you're a responsible little lass. Did I read this correctly? You've lost 112 lbs? That's a whole other person!

    I do believe that you can do whatever you put your mind to. I can tell that much about you…just don't overload.

    Balance, sweetie…it's all about balance!

  • http://twitter.com/IDoThings IDoThings

    Wow! 112 lbs.? You don't need to do anything else, as far as I'm concerned. Except read more. That's a great goal. And it'll impress John Cusack.

  • http://www.onesteptorecovery.com starzskymoon

    FACT: This girl never dreamed of going to college.

    FACT: This girl graduated with a bachelor's.

    FACT: This girl graduated with a master's.

    FACT: This girl is now on the road to getting a CPA license.

    No path is a good way to go–then you have many options open. And guess what? I STILL don't know what's going to happen five, ten years from now. I just know that what I'm doing now (mostly) works.

    I <3 you.

  • http://www.onesteptorecovery.com starzskymoon

    Oh, and I have a dentist appointment next week. I suggest you make one, too!

  • http://littleinsomniaclolita.blogspot.com Andhari

    Good luck in achieving your goals. I gotta start drinking less too, better for my health and for my wallet of course. I just get too overboard easily when the partyies are fun :p

    ps. and I need to go to dentist. I've never been. EVER. Now that I have my last 4 teeth grown, I'm pretty sure I have to.

  • http://jmb1980.blogspot.com/ Just Another Momma

    Congrats on the weight loss, that's huge and exactly what I'm working on. I would love to have more time to read too . . . That'll never happen until the kids are all grown and out (9 years 11 months to go). LOL

  • http://www.thatstangly.com/ Candice

    WHewwww, I thought you were quitting drinking forever…that'd be sad, as I haven't had the pleasure to fall down stairs with you yet. Anyway, yes, go to the dentist, and holy shit that's a lot of weight to lose!! AND don't worry about not knowing your “direction”…I have a career, education, whatever, and I still don't have an effing clue where I'm headed. I don't think anyone does.

    I finally added you to my blogroll, woot!

  • http://mommywantsvodka.com/ Aunt Becky

    I need to convince Dexter that he's my boyfriend. So, yeah. There's that. We can doooo it.

  • Mwa

    It seems to be the time for resolutions. Yours are good ones.

  • lifeonahanger

    omg you crack me up! thanks for reading my blog, I think we have a few things in common, (you can have John Cusack…just keep your hands off Jude Law and everything will be ok!)

    When you said less drinking, I got really nervous…but then you redeemed yourself. Me and Merlot have a relationship that no one can top!

    Can't wait to read about this drinking adventure!

  • lifeonahanger

    you crack me up, and we have a bit in common I see (except you can keep John Cusack, but hands off Jude Law and Jonathan Rhys Meyers, k?)

    When you said less drinking, I got scared…but then you made it better. Me and Merlot have a special relationship that can't be replaced….

    I can't wait to read about this drinking adventure!

    love the blog and thanks for stopping by!!

  • lifeonahanger

    ugh, so i posted twice bc I thought the first one got erased…damnit.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1788392286 facebook-1788392286

    What if I want to win a piece of your decoupaged art? Will you do a contest just for me? Preferrably something plastered with mid 90's photos of Justin Timberlake and his white man afro.

    http://www.bellabroccoli.wordpress.com

  • http://matthewjenks.blogspot.com/ Matt_J

    I was going to ask a question, but I'm a dick. So…

  • http://cathyhasantsypants.blogspot.com Antsy Pants

    uhhhh….please get out of my head. Seriously.

    I started my blog because I was almost(at the time) 30 and realized that I had no friggin clue where my life was going. Hence having antsy pants. Now, it's a couple months later and I still don't think I've figured anything out, but damn it if I haven't had fun with this blog thing. Ok. I dare you to make a dentist appt before me. Cuz I really need to go too.

  • badassgeek

    Give ol' John some time. He'll come around.

  • http://twitter.com/Carissajaded Carissa Jade

    PJ you always have such a good perspective on things!!! I am thankful to get to read your posts daily!!

    And I am going to write about each of these suggestions. Thank you!!

  • http://twitter.com/Carissajaded Carissa Jade

    Thank ya maam! I will definitely write a post about this too!!

  • http://twitter.com/Carissajaded Carissa Jade

    I”ve heard of the secret…. I will admit I always kinda thought it sounded a little bit hokey, but I trust you! So I think I will give it a shot!

    And thank you… I would rather be the star but I think I talk too fast!

  • http://twitter.com/Carissajaded Carissa Jade

    Lets both do a marathon! Or at least a half hehe…

    And that is def. a story I will tell, just for you!

  • http://twitter.com/Carissajaded Carissa Jade

    Good for you! I still haven't!

  • http://twitter.com/Carissajaded Carissa Jade

    I've read the Road and I am actually currently reading Pride and Prejudice and Zombies!!! Good taste my friend. I also loved Into the Wild. I do think I want to read Up in the Air for sure. I saw the movie and I absolutely loved it. Thanks for your suggestions, I just wrote them all down… but I'm sure I'll come back to you for more later!!

  • http://twitter.com/Carissajaded Carissa Jade

    Ahh Nikki I wish I had someone to work out with too!!!

    haha i dunno about that turk. I haven't answered any calls but he's still calling so i guess i should make a decision soon!

  • http://twitter.com/Carissajaded Carissa Jade

    i agree. it is definitely gonna be the hardest one to keep.. but i will sure try!

  • Yankism020

    When I was young I used to pray for a bicycle.

    Then I realized that God doesn't work that way.

    So I stole a bicycle and prayed for forgiveness.

    Thanks
    Raines
    ______________________________________________
    cataract treatment