My many faces


I’m a people watcher. Even more than that, I am a people figure-outer. I love it. One of my favorite pastimes in the world is trying to sum people up. I do this with everyone. I do it to the people I know, and to the people that I don’t know.  The best part about this game, is that I will never really know…

Take my best friend for an example.  One would think that I would know everything about her after being best friends for nearly 10 years.  She is more like a sister than anything. We finish each others sentences, know when each other are lying (which isn’t rocket-science with me), and I’m pretty sure we can read each others minds, though we haven’t really tested it in a controlled environment just yet. But the other day over some beers and salsa we were playing a game of “would you rather,” and I asked her if she’d rather date Batman, Superman, or Spiderman.

I totally pegged her as a Superman type o’ gal, because she totally digs those pretty boy types, but she threw me for quite a whirl and said she’d pick Batman. What? I know. I think Batman seems like kind of a bore. He’s all holed up in that mansion with nobody except for some old dude to keep him company. And he doesn’t even have any real powers. I’m a Spiderman girl myself. I’ve only seen one and a half of the movies, but he seems kinda nerdy…  I can dig that.

But that’s not what I wanted to talk about.

I spend all this time trying to figure people out. I create scenarios in my head, imagining how people would react in certain situations. When I’m in a room with a group of people, I sometimes like to pretend  that the zombie apocalypse has just started. Who will die first? Who will totally kick zombie ass? Who will be the sucker that makes out with her boyfriend who has become a zombie, only to get her brains eaten out through her ear. (And no, that wouldn’t be me… I know better!!)

But that’s also not what I want to talk about. Well yeah… I actually do… just not today.

Yesterday I was reading someone’s post, (I can’t for the life of me remember who’s it was) where she talked about the way people come across to others. She mentioned that there are some people that she knows in real life that come across completely different on their blogs. It got me thinking about how I never have really put the magnifying glass that I use so often on others, on myself.

How do other people see me? Do I act different when I’m around different types of people? Am I predictable? Do I come across different on my blog than I am in real life?

It’s a pretty hard game to play even when your player is yourself…. But after much thought, I’m pretty sure I come across mostly the same to all my friends and family.

Anyone who knows me well would likely tell you the following: I like to be the center of attention. I’m a little random, but in predictable ways. I’m confident yet have insecurities that I don’t keep hidden, though I may try. I am loud, and become even a thousand times more so when I’m drinking. I like to drink.  I don’t like other people to be uncomfortable. Whenever I’m in an uncomfortable situation, I usually just start telling awkward stories until everyone just feels uncomfortable for me, and not themselves. I cry at the drop of a hat and I laugh at the most inappropriate times. I obsess and analyze every situation to whoever might be around to listen. I’m a nervous wreck about 3/4 of my life… and as much as I try to act “breezy,” I don’t do a very good job at hiding it.

I’d like to think  I come across as the same person my readers that don’t know me in real life as I do to my friends… But I dunno, you tell me?

There is, however; one place in my life where I know I act completely different.

Work.

I never really thought about it until now, but I really don’t act like myself  in my office. It’s weird. I open up to nearly everyone I meet, but I have never been able to really do so there. I started thinking about what my co-workers might deduce about me by my actions….

*I never put on make up or fix my hair for work. (Unless I have somewhere to go after work, and even then I usually do my hair/makeup in the bathroom after work.)

*Even worse, my clothes are usually stained, backwards, inside out,  wrinkled or unzipped.. and I often have pen marks on my face.

*I have busted at least 2 pens in my mouth in the last 6 months, because I can’t go 2 minutes without chewing on plastic.

*I got caught the other day holding my arm straight up in the air. I tried to explain that I like the way it feels when it falls asleep, but that didn’t go over so well.

*I usually keep my ipod buds hidden behind my hair, so every once in a while I bust out in spontaneous song.

*I spend a lot of my time standing up working on mailing machines, (still with the ear buds in my ear) so I sometimes break out in spontaneous dance as well.

*No one there knows that I like to do comedy or that I blog, so when they find little scraps of paper with random thoughts on them like “How do work people see me?” or “I might be a crazy snail lady” they get a little confused. I try to play it off with “I was writing a song” which just makes me sound weirder….

*A co-worker once found a file folder with a wine bottle drawn on it. Yeah I drew it. You know what was on my mind.

*Sometimes I’ll watch myself talk in the little mirror I keep on my desk. And make very dramatic expressions.

*I also sometimes talk to customers in accents.

*When I get nervous I smell my hair. This means that whenever my bosses call me into their office to talk about something, I usually have my hair wrapped around my face so that it looks like I have a moustache.

*I write all of my posts at home, but while I’m babysitting the machines I often read blog posts on a shrunk down tiny little screen. This usually causes me to get really close to my computer screen. I have been told several times that I probably need stronger glasses.

*I have had to use a co-worker’s AAA card 4 times since I’ve worked there. All 4 times were because I locked my keys in my car.

So yeahhhhhh… Now that I really think about it, my coworkers probably think that I am a messy, dirty, forgetful, alcoholic, random, awkward, dramatic, loud weirdo.

Which is pretty much how I am in every other aspect of my life.

Agreed?

Maybe my “work me” isn’t so different afterall.

How do you think people perceive you???

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  • ScoMan

    Hooray! I found your blog. And what a day to do it on.. I love to observe people as well. I remember sitting in a group of friends outside the uni and one of my friends girlfriends at the time looks at me and said “What's there story?”.. I never knew people were watching me watching others.. maybe she's a people watcher too. Anyway, we made up stories for people we were watching after that, and then linked them together.

    But NOW I'll be thinking Zombie apocalypse.

    I think I'm the opposite to you. In my private life, I'm quiet and private and not very social.

    At work I'm cheerful and friendly and the center of attention.

  • thebacksofmyeyelids

    I think we all learn to wear different hats: work, school, friends, spouse, parent, child, insertrolehere.

    There are only two people in my life for whom I don't edit at least some of what I think, do, say.

    As a blogger, I am perceived to be a much more fillintheblank person than I really am because, although I post daily, blogging only allows a glimpse or a snapshot of any blogger.

    I am constantly telling people I fall short of their assessment of me as a insertrolehere. And I'm not just being humble. I mean I fall WAYYYYYYYY short.

    I do, however, choose Batman for myself. I think Spiderman is so gay. (That's a joke. I have a gay son. We kid.)

  • Pollypoptart

    Oh my god – I am actually shaking from suppressed laughter. I couldn't even read the whole post because I was worried MY office would think I am weirder than I already am! I'll have to read the rest when I get home…

  • http://www.blogsareforlosers.com Sherri

    You're definitely weird. And that is the greatest thing IN THE WORLD because now I do not stand alone. Ha!

  • kimwithak

    I think different groups of people perceive me differently. There's the blogosphere. Then there's work people and school people. Then there are my close friends, who know better.

  • http://cathyhasantsypants.blogspot.com Antsy Pants

    I wonder about this alot….does my 'real' personality show through on my blog? I also am aware that I have a public persona and a private persona. They are different. Not that my public persona is fake, but I try to make it much nicer than my private persona.

    People have many different layers. That's what makes us so interesting.

  • edadams

    I don't care how coworker perceive me.

    Good stuff though. I liked alot of your tidbits or nuggets about your work self.

  • http://shamrock-on.blogspot.com/ Jeney

    “Sometimes I’ll watch myself talk in the little mirror I keep on my desk. And make very dramatic expressions.”

    I totally do this when I sing in the car/in my bath towel after a shower.

    Most of my “new friends” out here in NoDak have told me I am very passionate. Which I think is their very nice way of saying I'm a bitch.

    😀

  • http://www.nikkidz.blogspot.com/ Nikki

    My coworkers know I'm crazy. My friends and family know I'm crazy. Sometimes I don't respond right away, or listen very well because I'm singing a song in my head. And then when I explain that to someone, they think I'm even more crazy. I almost don't want to know how people perceive me.

    Basically I can't wear different hats because I have such a small head…

  • thatkindofgirl

    PLEASE WRITE THE “I MIGHT BE A CRAZY SNAIL LADY” SONG!!!!!!!!!

    Caps attack necessary to convey how extremely serious I am about this. (Also, I am totally a Batman girl — smart+rich=yum — but we can agree to disagree.)

  • lacochran

    Batman. But maybe not Adam West Batman or Val Kilmer Batman.

    That was your point, right?

  • http://watchoutworldimatwentysomething.blogspot.com/ JustMe

    I've never been good at changing myself. The minute I start talking, the cat's out of the bag.

    The longer I stay quiet, the longer the mystery remains…too bad it's usually 30 seconds max.

  • blueviolet

    This cracked me up!!! I can picture you making faces to yourself and talking in pretend accents!

    I think I'm more outgoing at work than I am at home. I think….

  • beckeye

    I'm totally different at work, too. But only the job I have now. I used to ALWAYS make friends and be myself at other jobs, but this one just sucks. And I'm an administrative person while the rest of them are “creative” types, so they act like they're better than me. And they have no idea that I'm a writer or a blogger or that I could “create” circles around them. But I really don't care. Especially now, because I'm out of here next month!

  • lolalakely

    This was a kick ass post! Partially because you managed to mention Zombie Apocalypse (which I equate to surviving a relationship, to spiderman, to clothes being stained, to locking your keys in your car. I LOVE it. I think everyone has multiple personality syndrome. People are just too complicated to put into one category. And if you could actually fit in one category, I think it'd be rather boring.

  • http://www.thatstangly.com/ Candice

    I think of you as fun, honest, and genuine…and that's all that matters!

  • http://littleinsomniaclolita.blogspot.com Andhari

    Work is stressing, I'm sure if I work in an office someday, I'd be something like that. Not to mention that I may not be social enough since I tend to think that those people might be out there to get me :p

  • Daffy

    I think this is my most favorite post of all time! Really! So extraordinary! I love it – love how real it is -how in tune and honest with yourself you are….I would so love to work with you!!!!

    I think sometimes other people think I'm a bitch…the ones that don't know me. Often i find myself in the boat of having my cover judged before they ever look at the title page. Sometimes that saddens me and sometimes I embrace it because it weeds out people who would've ended up wasting my time. Not everyone writes me off before giving me a chance and those people I hang on to very tightly

  • lralln9

    C'mon! BATMAN! And like we said, I'd be chasing after Batman, but probably wind up with Superman.
    *Cool Car
    *Leather pants
    *Cape
    *Smouldering good looks/Killer ass kicking abilities
    I'm going to go start working on a bat signal…

  • hiphophippie

    Yes yes yes!!! A) I love figuring people out too! It's my favorite hobby. and B) I feel exactly the same way — that there's a work Buffy and a non-work Buffy. Work Buffy is pretty bitchy, smart-ass who never wears her nice clothes to work, rarely does her hair and only smiles when it's 15 minutes till she gets to leave. Argh, I wish I could change that about myself! Maybe 2010?

  • http://www.livingwicked.com/ LivingWicked

    This blog cracks me up for the following reasons:

    *I got caught the other day holding my arm straight up in the air. I tried to explain that I like the way it feels when it falls asleep, but that didn’t go over so well. <— I swear to goooodgolly I was the only one.

    *When I get nervous I smell my hair. This means that whenever my bosses call me into their office to talk about something, I usually have my hair wrapped around my face so that it looks like I have a moustache. <–My boss always asks me if his breath smells because I do this. It is really a nervous bad habit.

    😀

  • lifeonahanger

    you crack me up, i too, listen to music on my comp, and i dont really care if anyone else likes it…rude? who cares.
    i write songs in class, so my profs think i'm taking diligent notes, but i'm not…suckas!
    i once had the shakes at work (hangover from hell) and had to pass it off as a really bad bout with my anemia (which I DO have, but not THAT badly)
    i wear workout clothes to work a lot bc it makes me go to the gym….odd, but true

  • http://www.theinternalmakeover.com/ kathryn

    Oh, you're too funny. So, you've determined that ppl at work DO see you as you really are? Well, you're not drinking at work, right? So, I guess not really totally YOU.

    I love to ppl watch as well…but I'm busy psycho-analyzing their lives….I decide who's cheating on whom….who's married, divorced dads….1st date, 2nd date, engaged, etc.

    Oodles of fun…and of course, I think I'm right 100% of the time…

  • aphisaraee

    lol…. too funny! sooo .. are you looking at people with bigger questions now that you realized how you may appear to your co-workers?

  • jennyyarbrough

    Thanks for coming by my blog today!
    I totally try to figure people out to, mostly why they act the way they do.
    Hope you come visit SIDAC again!

  • aphisaraee

    lol…. too funny! sooo .. are you looking at people with bigger questions now that you realized how you may appear to your co-workers?

    and… I love people-watching too :)

  • jennyyarbrough

    Thanks for coming by my blog today!
    I totally try to figure people out to, mostly why they act the way they do.
    Hope you come visit SIDAC again!