My favorite place.

Back when I used to post stupid stuff in the blog space on Myspace, every post I did was titled “My… something or another.” I did this because I have an unhealthy obsession with Scrubs and that’s how they title their episodes.

Writing out the title of this post just brought me back to those uber-dork days. Just thought I’d share that.

My dad’s family has a really amazing farm out near Crawford, TX. My dad recently started staying out there, and I have to tell ya’ll, despite the fact that there is no heat, there is a lot of poison ivy, and there is always the possibility of being eaten by wild hogs-I’m a little bit jealous.

The place is absolutely beautiful and some of my most favorite memories happened out there. There is a lot of land, your typical barn house,  and a little white house that is surrounded by a picket fence… and a creek called “Hog Creek” runs through the land and as a dam and everything. It’s perfect.

Da house

Hog Creek
Hog Creek

My sweet grandparent's in front of my favorite tree in the world.
My sweet grandparent's in front of my favorite tree in the world.

A Cow.
A Cow.

When I was young, my family would spend the weekends out there and my days would be spent catching trees fish, wading in the creek or a metal tub, or walking the grounds playing pretend or trying to get the horses to eat grass out of my hand. Even now my family goes out there quite often to shoot guns and fish.

If you had any doubt I was a true Texan, I hope I cleared that up.

My family decided long ago, that if there were ever any nuclear wars or zombie attacks, the farm would be our meeting place. Besides being near the likes of George W…. I do think that it is the ideal place for an emergency.

I always thought it would be kinda fun to have to live out there on nothing but wild animals and beer.

I think I could survive. I’m sure it would be a little tough, but I could handle it. I mean… I wouldn’t even have to shower very often, or maybe ever. How awesome would that be? I’ve even already learned some very important rules about living off the land. Like a few years ago, my friend LA decided we would paint our faces with the juice that comes out of the pretty fruits that grow on cacti. Not a good idea. Those little fruits have many invisible, yet painful tiny little stickers that will stay in your skin for weeks.

ANNNND I won’t try that again.

But moreover, I yesterday as I was perusing facebook all day for a few moments in my spare time at work- I remembered the main reason that I could never live out at the farm. You see, I saw my dad’s newest facebook profile picture….

Someone in my family tree

Yes. My father decided to change his profile pic. to be a picture of one of my ancestors. I really feel bad not knowing who he was exactly as I’m sure I’ve been told many a time, but regardless-we are related.

Harmless enough, right?


You see, when I was a kid I have always had a very vivid imagination. When I was a child I was scared of monsters under my bed, monsters in the toilet, monsters in the closet, zombie pets, moving dolls, spiders, aliens, the Jabberwalkie from Alice in Wonderland… and a wall in my farmhouse that has pictures of several of my ancestors hanging on it. This being one of them.

I know, I know. They’re just pictures of people whom I share my blood with, but ya’ll don’t understand the fear that their faces put it in my heart. Whenever I walked around the house , especially at night- I could feel their presence. Their eyes follow you around the room. And they all look so sinister. I guess I was afraid that they would crawl right out of those photos and beat me with a wooden paddle or something.

I got my dad to take pics of the others and send them to me. They aren’t the best quality, but you get the picture. hehehe, no pun intended.

OK so this one is a little handsome....



I bet she would wash my mouth out with soap.
I bet she would wash my mouth out with soap.

This is my favorite. Clearly we are related.
This is my favorite. Clearly we are related.

Ok so they aren’t as scary here on this page. But I’m telling you people, in the house, at night… It’s a whole different story!!!!

I wonder what John Cusack’s ancestors look like. Since I am John Cusack’s girlfriend and all.

And don’t forget to ask me questions (in the comments, email, or tweet me bitches!!!) Anything on any topic… and I will answer! Or make something up. I will start answering them next week. Thanks for those who have already submitted some!

Have a humpalicious day!


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  • Amber

    Ok they are totally creepy!

  • thebacksofmyeyelids

    Back when these photos were taken, the subjects had to sit for very long periods of time, motionless. That's the secret to why no one ever looks happy.

    As far as the photos hanging on the wall of the farmhouse go, the energy of all who walked before is present, photos or no photos. Not just at the farmhouse, but everywhere. Energy doesn't dissipate, it changes form and lives eternally. We walk among all who came before. There's comfort in that. It is, after all, the only way my paternal grandfather (who, rumor has it, was a GREAT guy) has gotten to know me.

    That GLORIOUS tree? IMAGINE the history its seen!!! Imagine the first kid who climbed it, or the first couple to kiss beneath it, or children hiding behind it during a game of hide and seek. How cool that you can spend time in its midst.

    How blessed you are to have such a magical place filled with your family's history!

  • Pollypoptart

    I loved the picture of the cow. It made me laugh.

  • leethehotflashqueen

    Love that house! Give me directions, k??

  • Elliott

    One question – why would you shoot fish? Unless they're in a barrel, of course, then that makes perfect sense.

    Love the family homestead. When I was in college, my roommate took me hunting with his family and a few others on a ranch somewhere in south TX. That was an experience I'll never forget (and not just because I loaded a skull into the roommate's truck and it produced both a scorpion and a black widow later that afternoon during cleaning – he wasn't very happy.)

    And I can see the woman in the bonnet haunting one's dreams.

  • Daffy

    Farm life is so fascinating. I really think it would've been neat to live (just for awhile, I adore my indoor plumbing) at the turn of the century…

  • Matt_J

    You know, I have a feeling that being somewhere near W during a zombie apocalypse would be a good thing. Secret service and all. Plus, we know he's all about blowing shit up.

    When I was a young child, I used to fear that there was a giant earthworm living in the toilet pipes under my house and that it would slither up the toilet and tickle my backside with its nose when I was going poo. Funny thing is, I knew it was an irrational fear (or whatever synonym for irrational a four- or five-year-old knows), but I still thought about it.

  • thatkindofgirl

    1) I misread the sentence: “my family goes out there quite often to shoot guns and fish” to mean y'all shot the fish and was like, 'dang, she is Texan!”

    2) Those pictures would give me the willies too! They look like pics from the book of the dead in The Others (which still gives me nightmares, despite being more of a psychological thriller than a gory-ghosty situation).

  • Sherri

    You make me laugh so much! The farm looks beautiful but I must say, it looks like just the type of farm where post-nuclear war zombies would congregate.

  • meg

    ummm those pictures sure are creepy! i wouldn't want to be walking by them in the dark either. the third one down especially creeped me out.
    that tree is amazing! it looks like a good place to read/write/picnic

  • Antsy Pants

    The family farm is picture perfect! I would be freaked out by those old photos too!

  • Nikki

    Please don't trace John Cusack's family tree. That would be creepy. Love that white house though. It's my husband's goal to have lots of land so he can shoot on his own property. Maybe he should have been a Texan….except he's a liberal.

  • hiphophippie

    OH my gosh, yes, those pics are awesome, but in a farm house at night?! I'd be constantly peeing myself!!!

  • Mary

    True Texan indeed. And depending on the emergency, you might be better off as far away from W as you can get. Just saying, he's not real popular with some people.

  • EricHouston

    What's really scary is the second woman looks just like Lizze Borden. Not to add to your phobia, but Im just sayin'….lol.

  • facebook-1788392286

    OMG I love the old family photos. I think they are lovely, expecially the ancestor with long lovely flowing locks.

    I also hope someday that John Cusack does a google search in hopes of finding a girlfriend and comes across your lovely page. It's surely a match made in hollywood! Enjoy your movie time tonight…

  • lifeonahanger

    You had me at animals and beer. I love the ranch, it's such a happy place, except for the spiders and snakes.

    Question: What is your M.O. for hangovers?

  • kimwithak

    Those pics are scary and I think I'd be fearful of walking around at night there as well.

  • Just Another Momma

    “I bet she would wash my mouth out with soap”, LOL, she totally looks like she would.

  • JustMe

    Those people will definitely haunt you.

    For sure.

  • badassgeek

    That tree is AWESOME.

  • winfield

    Once I got (and my dogs) my sleep synchonized with the distant train, the long drive to work, opening and closing the gate in frigid cold, rain and ice, taking baths instead of showers in very limited hot water, stepping on cow poop, smelling cow poop on my dogs, skunks under the house, chopping wood for the potbelly stove, the silence, the milkyway band across the nightime sky, the distant lights of my neighbors….. I will never live in the city again. We should have a saunce (sp?), weegy board or something to stir up some of our ancestor's energy. Loveya girl!

  • dearjennymac

    LOVE the pic of your grandparents. They are so cute.

    “you get the picture…”

  • Andhari

    They're pretty scary, I scrolled down quickly.

    But hey those are beautiful pictures of the rarm :)

  • hey_lady

    I feel like we have a few things in common, I too live in Texas (Austin, actually), I too watch WAY too much television, and my husband and his friends also have an unhealthy obsession with “Scrubs” (man, if I had a quarter for every time they quoted that show…)

    I love reading this post about small towns, FASCINATING! Austin is the smallest town I have ever lived in (I'm from California, near San Francisco), and I love to read and hear about small towns! So cool!

  • Bing

    The farm looks so pretty – I love the creek and the cool tree. The bearded guys do look really creepy. And I'm 100% sure that lady would totally wash your mouth out with soap – nom noms!

    Question – What was the weirdest thing you ever ate?

  • Bing

    The farm looks so pretty – I love the creek and the cool tree. The bearded guys do look really creepy. And I'm 100% sure that lady would totally wash your mouth out with soap – nom noms!

    Question – What was the weirdest thing you ever ate?