Have you ever had one of those weeks where you felt you just couldn’t do anything right?
Well I have them.
And this week seems to be one of them.
In fact, this whole year seems to be a big fat turd of a year. I’ve already started writing 2010 on my dates because I really just can’t wait for it to start.
A quick break from my whining. Do we say two-thousand and ten, or twenty-ten? Or is it two-oh-one-oh??? The plaguing questions we endure as we come to the end of a century. And who decides anyway? I guess Obama does. Lucky bastard. I’d say twennny – teyen, byatch.
Ok back to bitching. Because it’s my blog and I can do what I want. Plus I laugh when other
So far this week I’ve spilled at least 3 drinks, drove up on a curb nearly hitting two cars and a family (for the second time this month) stepped on my $300 pair of glasses, I completely failed a salmon dinner, I effed up everything that is possible to eff up at work (and convicts could do this shiz,) I lost my phone charger (but have already replaced one this month so don’t want to spend $30 for another one until I get paid,) I overdrew my bank account, and I just locked my keys in the car whilst it was running (trying to charge up said phone with car charger.)
Update*** The AAA guy looked like a really old and drunk Santa clause. I didn’t tell him. But I wanted to after he hocked a big one that landed on the hood of my car (that he laughed and then nearly choked to death about) and then told me “I oughtter take yer down by that there pond and give ya a whoopin.”
-I realize I should probably be using semi-colons not commas, I don’t care.
Bad ugly Santa.
Oh and like two seconds ago? I was carrying my fourth serving of delicious tin cheese popcorn to my desk in a napkin, and my napkin hammock somehow came apart. Don’t worry, I followed the five second rule. I left the kernels that I couldn’t get back into my napkin within five seconds on the ground so that the cleaning ladies would have something to do tonight.
Let’s not forget I’m 99.99998716729% sure one of those bishes stole my laptop.
On top of being at the peak of my hurricane season , I have just been a glass cage of emotion. I don’t know if it’s just this time of year or maybe I need some meds., but the slightest little things have been setting me off.
A few examples…
*I cried when I had to call in to work hungover. I get really nervous about these things,
*I cried when my boss called me after hours before listening to his voice mail… I was sure he knew I was hungover… turns out it was just his wandering if I wanted some deer meat.
*I cried during all seventeen Lifetime movies I watched this week.
*I cried listening to the opera boy on NPR the other morning.
*I cried listening to Kissmas on Kiss FM (where they give lots of free shit away people who need it, mee tooooo???)
*I cried after I picked up my gray sweatpants from the ground to see what was on the ankle, and then held it up to my nose and accidentally wiped (what I found to be) poop on my nose.
*I cried when I found out my bank account was overdrawn.
*I cried at that fricking Travelers insurance commercial with the dog…
*My sister and I had at least 2 cry sessions on the phone, she cried because she was stressed about finals and boys, I cried because I hate boys and because I cry whenever anyone else is crying to me. And also because of that whole “our parent’s are fucking splitting up and Christmas isn’t going to be the same thing.”
Despite all of my tears and frustration, there have been A few moments where I have realized what this time of year is really about. A few times that tears have come to my eyes out of happiness, when I realize that I am so lucky, that I have so much. I know that everything will be alright. I know that I am loved.
And now I await the calm after the storm. It’s been a hell of a ride, 2009.
And most importantly , Happy Birthday Daddy! I know I have not always been the easiest child to handle, but you have been the best dad that a girl could ask for.
I know things aren’t easy right now, but I am here for you now and always. I have leaned on you for 27 years and it’s about time that I step it up and return the favor for the rest of my family.
It probably doesn’t always come across how grateful I am, but really- I couldn’t have survived my
life without you!
I love you with all of my heart and thanks for putting money in my bank account!
Let’s make 2010 twennny – teyen, byatch the best year ever!!