Can I have a do-over?

Have you ever had one of those weeks where you felt you just couldn’t do anything right?

Well I have them.


And this week seems to be one of them.

In fact, this whole year seems to be a big fat turd of a year. I’ve already started writing 2010 on my dates because I really just can’t wait for it to start.

A quick break from my whining. Do we say two-thousand and ten, or twenty-ten? Or is it two-oh-one-oh??? The plaguing questions we endure as we come to the end of a century. And who decides anyway? I guess Obama does. Lucky bastard. I’d say twennny – teyen, byatch.

Ok back to bitching. Because it’s my blog and I can do what I want. Plus I laugh when other

So far this week I’ve spilled at least 3 drinks, drove up on a curb nearly hitting two cars and a family (for the second time this month) stepped on my $300 pair of glasses, I completely failed a salmon dinner, I effed up everything that is possible to eff up at work (and convicts could do this shiz,) I lost my phone charger (but have already replaced one this month so don’t want to spend $30 for another one until I get paid,) I overdrew my bank account, and I just locked my keys in the car whilst it was running (trying to charge up said phone with car charger.)

Update*** The AAA guy looked like a really old and drunk Santa clause. I didn’t tell him. But I wanted to after he hocked a big one that landed on the hood of my car (that he laughed and then nearly choked to death about) and then told me “I oughtter take yer down by that there pond and give ya a whoopin.”

-I realize I should probably be using semi-colons not commas, I don’t care.

Bad ugly Santa.

Oh and like two seconds ago? I was carrying my fourth serving of delicious tin cheese popcorn to my desk in a napkin, and my napkin hammock somehow came apart. Don’t worry, I followed the five second rule. I left the kernels that I couldn’t get back into my napkin within five seconds on the ground so that the cleaning ladies would have something to do tonight.

Let’s not forget I’m 99.99998716729% sure one of those bishes stole my laptop.

On top of being at the peak of my hurricane season , I have just been a glass cage of emotion. I don’t know if it’s just this time of year or maybe I need some meds., but the slightest little things have been setting me off.

A few examples…

*I cried when I had to call in to work hungover. I get really nervous about these things,

*I cried when my boss called me after hours before listening to his voice mail… I was sure he knew I was hungover… turns out it was just his wandering if I wanted some deer meat.

*I cried during all seventeen Lifetime movies I watched this week.

*I cried listening to the opera boy on NPR the other morning.

*I cried listening to Kissmas on Kiss FM (where they give lots of free shit away people who need it, mee tooooo???)

*I cried after I picked up my gray sweatpants from the ground to see what was on the ankle, and then held it up to my nose and accidentally wiped (what I found to be) poop on my nose.

*I cried when I found out my bank account was overdrawn.

*I cried at thatย  fricking Travelers insurance commercial with the dog…

*My sister and I had at least 2 cry sessions on the phone, she cried because she was stressed about finals and boys, I cried because I hate boys and because I cry whenever anyone else is crying to me. And also because of that whole “our parent’s are fucking splitting up and Christmas isn’t going to be the same thing.”

Despite all of my tears and frustration, there have been A few moments where I have realized what this time of year is really about. A few times that tears have come to my eyes out of happiness, when I realize that I am so lucky, that I have so much. I know that everything will be alright. I know that I am loved.

And now I await the calm after the storm. It’s been a hell of a ride, 2009.


And most importantly , Happy Birthday Daddy! I know I have not always been the easiest child to handle, but you have been the best dad that a girl could ask for.

We need a newer pic together, obvs.

I know things aren’t easy right now, but I am here for you now and always. I have leaned on you for 27 years and it’s about time that I step it up and return the favor for the rest of my family.

It probably doesn’t always come across how grateful I am, but really- I couldn’t have survived my

life without you!

I love you with all of my heart and thanks for putting money in my bank account!

Let’s make 2010 twennny – teyen, byatch the best year ever!!


Your pumpkinhead


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  • Jessica

    Because you realize your blessings…I think that's what matters. :)

  • *uncorked

    I've never cried as much in my life as I have this past year, even this past month. I don't know what it is. I sobbed in my car this morning listening to that Christmas Shoes song. I cried when I stepped in dog puke this morning, and then again when I realized I didn't set the coffee timer and didn't have time to wait around this morning for it.

  • Just Another Momma

    awww, I'm with you on the bad week. I think this week could have possibly been the worst of my life and the saga continues. One day I'll blog about it but it will have to be when it's all over. I hope the next week/twenny – teyen is much better for you. That's also a very sweet letter to your pops. Have a good weekend!

  • princessofsarcasm

    Great…now I'm crying cause you are crying….I'll have puffy eyes in the morning and it will be ALL YOUR FAULT!!!

  • Antsy Pants

    I want to say first that I, too, am confused about how to say twenty ten, or is it two thousand ten….or what? I don't know.

    Next, it sucks that your year/week/day sucks. Hopefully next year brings better things.

    Lastly, what a great letter to your dad. My dad has been driving me crazy lately, but I know I wouldn't be me without him.

  • MoodyBelle

    Things can only get worse before they get better right?! Wish you happiness for the new year 2010! By the way I say twenty ten! LOL

    Oh and don't drink and drive gal!! *takes a stern voice*

    Else enjoy…:)

  • ambermurphy

    I love crying; I think I look skinnier after shedding tears.

  • meg

    i always say “twenty ten” but then feel ridiculous afterwards.
    sorry about all the suckage which is causing crying. i have weeks/months like that too. like…i bawled when i watched prancer the other night, and i'll very likely cry today when i attempt to go christmas shopping.
    that scary old car mechanic santa sounds digusts. nothing grosses me out more than when people spit. if it landed on my car, i don't really know what i would do with myself.

  • adrienzgirl

    My husband owns the AAA contract here for car lock outs. He has MANY MANY repeat customers. What's worse. Sometimes in the SAME DAY!

  • steph

    The of this post is very sweet. I feel I may cry, too ๐Ÿ˜‰

    How'd you get shit on your pants? LOL (sorry) I'm ready to get this year over! Lets get on with it….


  • Daffy

    If you get a week do-over can I get a month do-over? I sometimes seriously wonder how I am still legally able to move and breath among the general population.

    Big hugs to you…sorry it was such a craptastic week.

  • LiLu

    Cry sessions are so, SO necessary sometimes. No shame.

    Hope things turn around soon ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • hiphophippie

    '09 has seriously sucked donkey nuts. It has blown ass juice all over my face and then laughed at me. That was f'ing disgusting, sorry. But I feel ya girl, ick! So ready for twenny tyen biotch! Haha! Love that!

  • Kirsten

    Things can only get better in 2010 and at least it will come soon! I loved this post..funny, sweet, creepy (the AAA guy.. the one I always have has the DIRTIEST HANDS and makes me shake them ugh), well written, etc. ps I'm sure your dad is going to absolutely love the last part. If I wrote something like that my dad would for sures be crying at it

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  • CarissaJaded

    I agree! full heartidly!

  • CarissaJaded

    haha I've cried over coffee before… sometimes it's the smallest things that set me off!! I hope next year is better for you as well!

  • CarissaJaded

    I'm sorry your week has been bad as well!! Lets make this one better!!

  • CarissaJaded

    haha no don't cry!!

  • CarissaJaded

    I don't know either. I think it's going to cause chaos in the world with noone knowing what to call the year. We shall find out I suppose!

  • CarissaJaded


    Oh I honestly don't drink and drive. I don't drive well even sober.

  • CarissaJaded

    haha I have never thought about it but I think I do too. So do you think being an emotional cutter is an eating disorder of sorts?

  • CarissaJaded

    He didn't spit on my car on purpose, but the wind blew it on my car and he thought it was hilarious!! it was dis-gusting!

  • CarissaJaded

    I've never had 2 in the same day, but I am definitely a frequenter of the AAA. I KNOW i've had to call 2 times in a week before…

  • CarissaJaded

    LOL, I guess I stepped on some dog poo outside… I was wearing long pants and didn't notice it!

  • CarissaJaded

    Thanks!! I think we should all at least 10 do-overs in life. But then again I'm obsessed with Lifetime Christmas Movies…

  • CarissaJaded

    Thank ya much! I think it helped!

  • CarissaJaded

    hahaha “09 has seriously sucked donkey nuts. It has blown ass juice all over my face and then laughed at me.”

    Best comment ever. Thanks for the laugh!

  • CarissaJaded

    Cheers to 2010! Byatch!!

    I have to note though, that once I fell a little in love with my AAA guy. Only once, but he was like that dirty, handsome, can do anything kind of guy… I almost slipped him my number…

  • Bing

    Oh man, that does sound like a rough week. I hope 2010 is 100 million times better for you. I think the almost running over a family and wiping poo on your nose takes the cake. That really blows!

  • Sadako

    I cry when I'm on my period and I see cute puppy commercials. Sometimes cute things push me over the edge…

  • winfield

    You are a very sweet punkinhead!

  • winfield

    You are a very sweet punkinhead!