Love my life! But a little bit of FML (Because it IS Friday!)


First, (in the voice of Chandler Bing) Can this week BE any longer??

I think not, my friend. But I’m not here to complain. All is good in the life of me. Really great actually. I cannot stop smiling.

WHAT? No complaints about my roommates? No bitching about having nothing to wear? No rants about how I wore my thong the wrong way for 8 hours???

I know? I must be sippin on some sizzurp crazy juice.

Not only is it pay-day Friday and I have a really fun weekend ahead of me, but Goshdarnit! I just found out some people like me!!

I got two awards this week and I’m so frickin excited!

The first is the Kreativ Blogger award from Amber over at  Musings of Amber Murphy! Thank you friend! If you don’t currently frequent her blog, you must check it! She’s funny, extremely genuine, writes way better poetry than I ever could, (she writes way better than I do, period) and most importantly…she once wrote a letter to Tiffany Amber-Theissen.

kreativ_blogger_award_copy

Candice from That’s Tangly passed this to me a few weeks ago so I’m gonna skip the meme part of it and just pass it on! If you’re up to it, pass it on to 3 other blogs and reveal 7 things about yourself that you haven’t yet shared with the world.

I”d like to pass this on to:

Andhari from Insomniac Lolita… This girl is an uber talented musician, leads a very interesting life, and posts really awesome pictures of hotties with no shirts!

HillbillyDuhn from Hillbilly Duhn’s Times and Tribulations… Because this girl never fails to crack my shit up. Oh, and also she was brave enough to post the best TMI I have ever read. Ever.

Ryan from 365 Days of People… For being the most hilarious hater on the internet. Seriously, there is rarely a time when he posts something that I don’t agree with. I just hope this award doesn’t prompt a “people who give out gay-ass blog awards” post. Or do it. I’ll laugh.

The second award is the Honest Scrap Award bestowed to me from That Kind of Girl from Not that Kind of Girl. Oh my gosh people. I cannot express in words how much I love this girl and am honored that she reads! She is frickin hilarious, inspiring, (my friends and I now play a NTKOG game where we dare ourselves to do things we normally wouldn’t) and has huge fricking pair of boobs. And by boobs, I mean girl balls. I also blame her for infiltrating “dude” back into my daily vocabulary.

honest scrap

For this award, I’m supposed to tell you 10 super personal things that no one else knows. NTKOG decided to put her own spin on it and reveal 10 things that she has learned about herself in the last 10 days. I’m going to attempt a mix of the 2.

Five things you don’t know about me (unless your a stalker):

1. I’m a huge freak. Meaning? I have a dimple thingy at the top of my butt crack. It’s not as weird as it sounds…  It’s like a little hole that doesn’t go anywhere… I’ve met one other person that has one. Let me know if you do too. We can start a club or something.

2. I had an eating disorder in my early twenties. I am really happy that I have been able to lose weight the right way this time, but sometimes it scares me when I get a little obsessive about it. I know I wouldn’t ever go down that path again, and it feels really good to get this out there- but still… I think about that place that I once was in, and it is terrifying.

3. I am horrible with anything that has to do with numbers. I still have to look on facebook to find out my best friend’s birthdays. The only phone number I have memorized is my parent’s. I use my fingers to do multiplication.

4. My bellybutton hole smells, at least to me. I clean it, but I think it still has a funk.

5. I may or may not have just spent the last 45 minutes trying to give myself a Brazilian wax. I may or may not have learned that this is something that you should not attempt at home. (this probably should have gone in the next list.)

Five things I learned in the last 10 days:

1. I really really really hate the time change. Mostly because I forgot how difficult of a time I have driving at night.

2. I am kind of a loser. There are some days when I have the opportunity to go out and be around people, but I would rather sit at home and watch t.v.

3. I need to learn to stop hiding behind my weight. I got so used to using my weight as my excuse not to do things… not to put myself out there dating wise, not to try new things, not to have confidence. I  I still find myself making these excuses.

4. I still have no idea what I want to do with my life. I have had several discussions with my friends about this lately, and it just fucks with my head even more. I have been consciously putting it out of my mind for the last 4 years, and it’s time to deal.

5. I shouldn’t do things (like go stair surfing) when I don’t have health insurance.

Alllllrighty then. If that wasn’t personal, I don’t know what is. Now I get to pass this on to 10 honest bloggers that I love! Check em out if you haven’t already!

1. Alicia from It Aint easy being Cheesy… I recently started following her and she is hill-arious! Plus she posts amazing pictures and we share a common bond of having obsessions with NSYNC.

2. Phronk …  A fellow film lover who also doesn’t  fart. And I don’t love farts so I kind of love him. Plus he has this other badass site Putting Weird Things in Coffee, where he does just that. I may have read the whole thing.

3. M from Only one Way Down… She’s funny, honest, and when she gets on a rant – I kind of just want to raise my fist and yell “oh hells yeah!” Plus she’s a fellow Dallasite, and it’s good to know there are other good people from the area.

4. Candice from That’s Tangly… I have mad love for this girl! Seriously, if I don’t get to party with her before I die, it will be a major loss on my behalf. Plus she is doing great things with her life right now.. CHECK IT OUT!

5. Kathryn from From The Inside… Out… I didn’t know mom’s could be this funny.  Or that I could relate to one so much. Funny. ass. shiz.

6. Matt from A Crown of Thistles… By far the smartest/funniest/best storyteller/knows freaking latin-est person that I have met on the internets. I literally leave his site with my mouth hung open in awe. And not in the dirty way.

7. F.B. From The Change I Wish to See… I recently started following this guy, and I have gone back to read his entire history. And I laughed a lot. Plus he is an amazing writer, and did I mention he loves It’s Always Sunny??

8. One Step to Recovery… Love this girl! I can almost always relate, and she tells it like it is. She just had surgery yesterday and girl, I hope you are feeling better soon!

9. Kirsten from Belly Shirts…. I laugh my ass off at her daily, and because she single handedly started the swine flu epidemic.

10. Lilu at Liveitluvit… I couldn’t leave her out! I probably wouldn’t have found any of you good people if it weren’t for her site, and I FUCKING love the TMIs.

I have seriously come across so many blogs that I love in the last couple months. I love you all!

Moving on to the Fuck my Life portion. This is why I haven’t been able to walk this entire week… (NEVER STAIR SURF UNLESS YOU WANT TO FEEL MAJOR PAIN!!!)

stairs1

stairs2

stairs3

stairs4

stairs5

I am that blur of brown hair, BTW.

F.M.L.

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  • badassgeek

    Stair surfing? I'm trying to think of how that sounded like a good idea. Hope you feel better.

  • http://twitter.com/insomniaclolita Andhari Sidharta

    Thanks for the award lol “post topless hot men” does sound like me, hahaha

    anyway I feel you on not knowing for sure what I will do in the following years :( And I get a bit obsessive about my weight from time to time, dont worry you can always rant here. It helps put things into perspective and get back on the healthy track :)

  • http://www.onesteptorecovery.com starzskymoon

    Thank you, thank you!!! And I've been waiting for these pics!!! How's that tailbone feeling? Don't be jealous of my day off, though. I'm cooped up in my house, by myself, with no one to visit me and no where to go because I'm not allowed to drive!

  • http://watchoutworldimatwentysomething.blogspot.com/ JustMe

    That is a fabulous pictorial of something I will never do because I have a huge fear of falling down the stairs. Even when I'm walking UP them…I worry.

  • kimwithak

    I think my bellybutton smells too. I'm pretty obsessive about it.

  • http://bellyshirts.wordpress.com/ Kirsten

    I just got ridiculously excited when I saw my name/blog on my post. You are awesome, thanks!

    Loved the 10 things you wrote. I probably was familiar with too many of them. The Brazilian wax thing.. definitely attempted to do that last summer and then was in too much pain with the first strip and had to try to soak it off with hot water because I was too scared to rip it. awesome.

  • http://matthewjenks.blogspot.com/ Matt_J

    I hate to tell you this, my dear, but I've already done the Honest Scrap thing. Better news? I did it TMI-style.

  • http://megsrantsandramblings.blogspot.com/ meg

    holy lord that looks painful!! whoever took those pictures did a great documentation job though!!
    and yeah, i also have no idea what I want to do with my life and it makes me crazy.

  • http://mommywantsvodka.com/ Aunt Becky

    Will you marry me? Or at least be my best friend in the world?

  • http://twitter.com/Carissajaded Carissa Jade

    Yeah…. I may not be the smartest crayon in the box. (case in point)

  • http://twitter.com/Carissajaded Carissa Jade

    your welcome! and keep showing me hotties!

    I don't know how I went so long without a blog on which to rant on!

  • http://twitter.com/Carissajaded Carissa Jade

    Your welcome! and ok, that does suck that you can't drive… but at least you can catch up on tv??

  • http://twitter.com/Carissajaded Carissa Jade

    Believe me. Stairs and I have a long turbulent history. This would have never occurred had there not been a copious amount of alcohol involved.

  • http://www.onesteptorecovery.com starzskymoon

    Hehe. I can, that's true. Too bad I caught up yesterday though! :(

  • http://twitter.com/Carissajaded Carissa Jade

    What's with that?? It just never smells normal!

  • http://twitter.com/Carissajaded Carissa Jade

    You're welcome!

    Ughh.. I'm def gonna splurge the next time. Not a fun experience.

  • http://twitter.com/Carissajaded Carissa Jade

    I figured you might have. But I had no idea how beautiful it would be. Matt, you never cease to surpass my expectations!

  • http://twitter.com/Carissajaded Carissa Jade

    She did do a great job at photography! I'm surprised we didn't smoosh her!

  • http://twitter.com/Carissajaded Carissa Jade

    Of course! But if we stair surf you have to go in front… I have to draw the line somewhere!

  • Justageneralist

    Um, I totally have the same weird “hole” at the top of my butt crack!! And, to boot (no pun intended there), my butt crack is also EXTREMELY long/high. Like granny panties (if I wore them – which I so do NOT!) wouldn't cover it. So high that the other day, my husband, who has known and loved my butt for going on five years now, scoffed, “HA! Look how high your butt crack is!” and pointed at it in the full length mirror. That was a lovely way to start the day. :)

    Great blog, by the way! I enjoy reading it, you're hilarious! And I personally am a sucker for self-deprication and cynicism.

  • http://www.worstdamnblog.com Josh

    You've got a dimple on your buttcrack? ROFLMAO I'm so sorry but that makes me laugh. That is weiiiiiiiirrrrrrd! My uncle has a dimple on his chin. It's very prominent. I call him butt chin. Maybe you should meet him. LMAO.

    Stair surfing? Ever rode your bike down stairs. FUNNNNNNN.

  • http://www.ambarsthoughts.com/ Ambar

    LOOOOOOOOOL!!! You had my at Chandler Bing.. I'm soooooooo a follower right now.

    and hellooo Liluuu.. gotta love her… ok bye now 😛

  • http://www.worstdamnblog.com Josh

    Yes, and you all can stair surf at the wedding. The one who wears the dress should be in back, so the train can drag down the stairs! Haha

  • http://www.worstdamnblog.com Josh

    I just pick the lint out of mine. But I have a weird habit of only doing it while I shower. Which is everyday. Yes, I'm weird.

  • CarissaJaded

    YAY!!! I'm not alone in my weird butt??! That is amazing news!

    And thank you so much for coming by!!

  • CarissaJaded

    Umm.. yeah… well its more of like a weird hole…. I dunno what it is. I always called it the “butthole at the top?? yeah, i am a freak.

    Never rode my bike down the stairs. After riding an ironing board down the stairs I'm not sure I would try it!

  • CarissaJaded

    Oh yeah… I love Friends.

    Thanks for following!

  • CandiceW

    AWESOME! Thank you! Officially the greatest week ever. Especially because I've run out of content considering I'm lame for a little while. And also, I'm super bad with numbers too, really, really bad. The butt dimple is kinda strange though. Maybe it's for a tail?

    Checking out the rest of these peeps for sure.

  • toni0

    My 5 year old daughter has one of those dimples. It is called a “Sacram Dimple”. At least I think it is spelt like that, I can't be fucked googling it. I just remember when I was changing her nappies that I had 2 buutholes to clean and feeling ripped off. But yeah, that hole doesn't go anywhere…strange really. Great Blog, am enjoying it lots :)

  • http://www.blogsareforlosers.com Sherri

    I use alcohol on a q-tip to keep my bellybutton “hospital fresh” and also, I have a butt dimple right at the top of my crack. I always say that's where the tail was before Jesus saved me. [I'm kidding. Not about the tail, but about Jesus saving me. I'm far beyond being saved.]

  • http://www.theinternalmakeover.com/ kathryn

    OMG…you are freakin hilarious. I can't believe you didn't break your neck. I say this in the nicest, most loving, MOM-VOICE I possibly can. If you're in pain, well…that's what you get. (Mom-voice again.)

    Thanks so much for the award, sweetie! I so appreciate your acknowledgment of my blog and I'm grateful for the appreciation.

    Congrats to all the other recipients as well and thanks for the recommendations for some other great reads!

  • lolalakely

    I checked you out because you got mentioned in That's Tangly. And as I have an affinity for the sarcastic, naughty, and silly, I find that I like you a lot! Stair surfing was hilarious!

  • http://mwaonline.blogspot.com/ Mwa

    Ouch! Ouch!

  • anotherhotmess

    I always thought subway surfing (NYC style, not sandwich joint style) was a skill…but stairs surfing – THAT is pretty freaking awesome. But oddly, I think it looks more dangerous than NYC transit. Congrats on the awards – much deserved!

  • http://youllgrowtoloveme.com jenniferalaine

    the stair surfing looks hilarious! definitely painful though!

  • http://www.belleandnel.com/ Nel

    Dude, look at all your blog bling! You go Ms. Jaded!

    And holy shoot, please tell me you were sober going down those stairs!

  • CarissaJaded

    The butt dimple thing IS weird, but im coping… you will continue to come up with content or ill cut you!!! :) I love you candice and am way too effed up right now to think about anything more!

  • CarissaJaded

    hahaha well im so glad im not alone. i usually dont even think of the second hole until it gets infected every once in a while.

  • CarissaJaded

    Im gonna have to try that remedy. water isn't cutting it….i wish jesus was saving me but im far from that!!!

  • CarissaJaded

    yeah yeah! I'm finally feeling better…

  • CarissaJaded

    well thank u! and now i will google it!!

  • CandiceW

    LOL, right back at you!

  • http://twitter.com/Carissajaded Carissa Jade

    Definitely, not sober…

  • http://twitter.com/Carissajaded Carissa Jade

    It's been over a week and I'm still in pain!

  • http://twitter.com/Carissajaded Carissa Jade

    Yay glad you cam by!

  • http://twitter.com/Carissajaded Carissa Jade

    your welcome!

  • http://www.phronk.com phronk

    I'm totally going to take on this tag thingy, but I haven't thought of anything to write about yet. I'm pretty boring; no ass dimples to speak of (though I guess my belly button does smell if I dig my finger in there deep enough).

    This series of pictures is one of the greatest moments ever captured on film.

  • CarissaJaded

    Definitely, not sober…

  • CarissaJaded

    It's been over a week and I'm still in pain!

  • CarissaJaded

    Yay glad you cam by!