Weekends are for fun and shame

Oh Monday. If you were a person I would give you a swirly and stuff you into a locker.

Despite the fact that it’s Monday and I have come down with what I can only assume is the  swine flu- I’m still smiling about the craziness that was my weekend.

My friend L.A. and I decided to road trip it down to Austin to celebrate my little sister’s 23rd Birthday. My sister is all kinds of awesome; but other than fabulous taste in music, our habit of chewing on small pieces of plastic and the way that we both eat our sandwiches upside down- we have very little in common. Even so, she’s my best friend in the world and I don’t think I would survive without her in my life. Like, literally.

Though she is 5 years younger, she has definitely learned to take on the big sister role in our relationship. I’m not going to go into details because like I said, we are complete opposites- and as much as I love being the center of attention- I can bet you that she is blushing just reading this.

But just so you get a better picture of how different we are, my little sister started off the weekend offering to be the designated driver. On her birthday weekend. I don’t think I have ever offered to drive whether drinking was part of the deal or not. Needless to say, we were not evil enough to take her up on this offer, though we still managed to double her on our alcohol intake.

Friday night we went to a little bar on 6th street. Since it was ACL weekend, everywhere was a little more crowded than usual and the clothing was about 20 times more interesting than usual. My favorite outfit of the night was a girl wearing a cape over a tank top and panties. Awesomeness. Definitely something you will never see in Dallas.

LA. and I spent most of the evening obsessing over the fact that we were damn near 6 years older than all of my sister’s friends. I think we both still look fairly young, and there is no question that my sister and her friends are at least 10 years older than us if your basing it on maturity, but I couldn’t help but feel a little cougar-rific. The highlight of my evening was when a someone said they thought I was the  younger sister, though they were clearly just humoring me. Or maybe they overheard L.A. and I playing the “Penis game”… you know, the game where you can be the most obnoxious by yelling Penis the loudest. I always win.

When we got back to my sister’s apartment on Friday, we were all pretty tipsy. But we were smart enough to buy liquor to drink after the bar, so we dove right into that and then proceeded to call every person in our phones who had lived in or maybe just visited Austin in their lives. After we pissed off several people’s wives and woke up several children, L.A. got a hold of a very drunk guy who said he was 90% sure he could get us into A.C.L. the next day. After our initial excitement wore off, L.A. and I got into a physical fight over whether we would go see Dave Matthews (her choice) or Ghostland Observatory(my much better choice) because they were playing at the same time. My sister had gone to bed at this point and was abruptly woken to the sound of my body slamming L.A. into the foot of her bed.

that's my gonna kick yo ass face.

that's my "gonna kick yo ass" face.

It turns out the bruise on my right shoulder and scrapes on my left legs were gotten in vein, because the asshole who said he could get us tickets, definitely did not get us tickets.

We spent the greater portion of Saturday drinking water,  watching tivoed shows from last week, and eating copious amounts of Thai food. For about 5 minutes we thought we may just couch it for the evening and watch some Gossip Girl (shhhh) on DVD, but my sister mentioned that she had never had a martini. Twenty three years old and never had a martini? Deal breaker. We took turns dying our hair with boxed hair dye (L.A. could now be Carrot Top’s obnoxious twin sister,  I look like a witch, and my sister’s hair looks maybe 3/4 of a shade darker than it was,) showered, tried on about 30 outfits a piece, and left to go out wearing the first outfit we tried on approximately 3 hours later.

**Looking back, removing the hair dye from our hair really would have been a much smoother process, had we taken actual showers…

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The night ended up being a ton of fun! And we did get our martinis, though not everyone was has happy about them as I was… The first pic is of us pre- first sip of dirty martini.

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The following picture was taken immediately after our first sip (and my sister’s last.) My sister’s (far left)  face: Priceless.

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The rest of the night was kind of a blur. I do know that L.A. and I, being the ever so proper house guests that we are, invited a bunch of people to come over to my sister’s apartment after the bar. We finished off that bottle of vodka, and  as usual, I acted inappropriately . You see, the dress that I was wearing was the sort of material that you can’t really wear underwear with unless you want the world to see rolls of flab in extremely unbecoming  areas. And I apparently should be banned from not wearing underwear with dresses for life, or should not be allowed to drink with people who I do not know very well.

I guess I owe an apology or two.

My dear sister,

I had a wonderful weekend and I am so happy i got to spend your birthday weekend with you. I love your friends, your roommate, and your apartment. Thank you for making sure L.A. and I didn’t leave the bar with any strange people. Thank you for telling your friends that I don’t usually act like this and that it was the drunkest I have ever been. I know you hate to lie, but this one doesn’t hurt anyone, and it helps your sister from coming across as a complete ass. I’m sorry that I fell of the chair into that plant on your back porch. But mostly, I’m sorry I flashed my panty-less hoo-ha at your friends. Even though most of my friends laugh when I do that, I realize now they may have a different sense of humor than my friends do, and I should have at least asked first. I hope that you won’t be too scared to ask me back!


I love you!

Your  favorite (and only) sister in the world,

Carissa

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  • lralln9

    1- Though neither one of us remembers, I think it is more possible that I bodyslammed you. That is my signature move.

    2- You told me my hair looked really good then called me “Carrot Top” on the internet. You're a biatch.

    3- Thank you for “tucking it in” before flashing your ladybits to the world.

  • http://littleinsomniaclolita.blogspot.com Andhari

    LOL “cougarific”. I may need to use the word in a phrase.

    Martini cocktails are always my favorites!

  • http://www.onewaydown.com M

    Sounds like a successful weekend for me! I don't think I've ever flashed my lower lady parts at a party, but I have definitely been guilty of flashing a pair of guys in an effort to distract them during beer pong…

  • CarissaJaded

    1. I remember. And my signature move.

    2. You're hair looking good and also looking similar to Carrot top don't necessarily have to cancel each other out. I remember you chose Carrot top over hurly from Lost in a game of would you rather…

    3. I have no idea what your talking about.

  • CarissaJaded

    mine too. dirty. really dirty.

  • CarissaJaded

    haha that is awesome. think it would work in flip cup as well?

  • http://catherinette.wordpress.com/ Catherinette Singleton

    Wait, are you telling me that you pulled a Paris Hilton?

  • http://belleandnel.blogspot.com/ Belle

    But what fun would REAL showers have been? None. This post made me like you even more because you love your sister THAT much. I used to go to school in Austin and MY sister would come visit me there, and hilarity would ensue…
    So… we're sister soulmates. FYI. Am I creeping you out yet?

  • http://angryredhead.wordpress.com/ Candice

    I added you to my RSS feed as soon as I read the title of this entry. I'm glad I have someone to relate to.

  • CarissaJaded

    Why yes, it seems that I did. Only… I was trying to think of a good excuse but couldn't.

  • CarissaJaded

    Oh i do love my sister… and we can definitely be sister soulmates. Do you ever go back to austin?
    and no I only get creeped out my people who want to take showers with me.. hence us not taking showers together when we washed out the dye.

  • CarissaJaded

    Oh you're added to mine. the pictures on your about me page make me want to give you hug and buy you a shot.

  • ryanholman

    girls in bathtubs- check
    girls with drinks- check
    girls period – check

    perfect post.

  • ryanholman

    girls in bathtubs- check
    girls with drinks- check
    girls period – check

    perfect post.