I once found a penny and
bent down to pick it up,
I noticed its head was showing
So I thought I’d have good luck.
I put it in my pocket
and headed on my way
but on the road I walked by a man
who said “its not your day.”
With gun in hand, he took my purse
and searched it for some cash-
He took my money, cards, and watch,
that’s when I saw his rash.
As he walked off I had to puke
For then I did realize
that his bumpy, red and oozing arm
had grazed across my thigh.
I rushed right home to take a bath,
but when I rose from bed-
I felt the bumps and wished that I
had found a dime instead.
One year it was my birthday
I hadn’t got a call
I sat depressed, that’s when I felt
I had no friends at all.
But then I heard a knocking
from someone at the door-
I thought with glee that Someone cares!
my day I can restore.
But when the door was open
I found that they had flown-
but left a box that clearly said
“Happy Birthday” from “unknown.”
Too dumb to feel suspicion
I looked what was inside
“What luck!” I thought “A rabbits foot!”
I couldn’t hide my pride.
With my ego now repaired-
I went out on my own
to a pub right in my neighborhood
and sat up on a throne.
The beers went down like water,
the liquor fogged my head-
Got up too quick to use the loo
and tripped on my own leg.
The world was dark for quite a while
but soon I knew the truth-
my mouth was filled with streaming blood
and not just from one tooth
A hand reached down to help me up
I saw to my surprise-
It was my love from long ago
a man who I despise.
I sobered up real quickly-
not from pain but from my grief
For who was right beside him?
his new wife with all her teeth.
One day as I sat reading
I found a clover leaves of four.
I thought I must be seeing things
so I counted them once more.
I pulled the clover from the ground
and pressed it in my book
If I had known what it would bring
This clover I would not have took.
I then resided reading
but only for a while-
I heard a rustle in a bush
that made me jump about a mile.
I breathed in deep and clutched the book
that held my good luck charm
for what was running towards me
was a reason for alarm.
It was a man all clad in green
I froze in my appall
at the speed which he was moving
For he was only three feet tall!
I turned and started running
away from my nightmare
but the little man was at my heels
I quickly said a prayer.
Soon the lad did trip me
and snickered as he said-
“I must cut off all you hair now!”
and he took me by the head.
I tried to make a protest
and I tried to get away
but the little mite had quite a grip
and snipped with no delay
He left me there alone and bald
ashamed to tell my friends-
that all because I took a plant
and failed to make amends
A leprechaun took all my hair
my worth and dignity
Oh how I wish the that clover had
only leaves of three!