My ipod shuffle function hates me


My  friend IPOD,

We’ve been friends for quite a while now, and I listen to you for countless hours every day- so I think  it’s about time for you to hear me out.

For the most part, I love you. I really do. You’ve  been there for me through the good times and the bad. You’ve helped me study for exams. You’ve allowed me the excuse not to talk to certain people when I’m not in the mood. I also have to give you some of the credit for my losing so much weight the last 2 years because there is no way I would have ever gone to the gym without you.

You keep me company anytime that I’m in my car and all day through work, and I thank you for that. I’ve all but quit talking to my old friend radio and I haven’t even looked at another cd since I met you, and I don’t even miss them. I’ve come to rely on you to ” keep me in the know ” about a variety of different subjects via podcasts.  More nights than not, I even ignore my newly purchased flat screen tv to watch my downloaded tv shows and rented movies on your tiny screen.

I’ve already given you  10, 224 songs, and last time I checked my itunes account history I had spent over $4,500 dollars on you over the last three years. So by now you should know how much you mean to me.

A few months ago I have to admit that I thought it was kind of funny when your shuffle function kept playing Barry Mannilow’s Copa Cabana. I even chuckled a little when you tried to be funny and  play 3 Marylin Manson songs in a row, just when I settled into a relaxing soak in the tub. It seems lately though, you have lost all sense of irony, and now your just being a jerk. What did I do to you to make you hurt me so? Why do you insist on playing with my heart?

Don’t play stupid and act as if you weren’t there in the beginning of the relationship when I would manually play those certain songs over and over again.  I even made a certain secret play list that I would put on repeat. You never shuffle played them for me then, so why are you playing them so often now-when you know those are the last songs that I want to hear? I would just erase them from you completely, but I know one day I will want to hear those songs, it’s just too soon. Plus I don’t like to not have a complete album. For the next few months would you please refrain from torturing my ears and my heart with your choice of shuffle songs. If you can do this for me, I’ll even try to not skip over all the rap songs that you love to play when I’m trying to meditate.

Thank you for your cooperation,



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