Movie Fail.

OneSheet (Page 1)

New In Town (DVD)

Starring: Renne Zellweger and Harry Connick Jr

Unless you recently underwent a lobotomy, you really have no excuse for seeing this film. I’m not even sure why I am admitting to watching it myself. I have seen some really bad rom-coms in my day and this is down there with anything that Jennifer Lopez or Mariah Carey have ever starred in.

In case you are just the tiniest bit curious – the story goes just like you thought it would. ..

(spoilers below)

Snobby executive woman is new in town. Woman meets man and has an intense disagreement while having dinner with a bunch of Minnesotians who affect the worst exaggerated accents you’ve ever heard. Man turns out to be woman’s business partner at the local butter plant. They argue a lot. Woman gets trapped in a snow bank. Man saves woman. Woman and man make out and almost get caught by man’s kid. The business is failing and woman is going to have to fire all of her new friends who work there. Man is angry because those are his friends too. Woman devises plan to save the business by selling her secretary’s tapioca pudding. Man and woman make out in front of the entire plant while all the workers applaud and hug.

There I saved you 90 minutes.

I do have to say that Harry Connick Jr.’s performance was a vast improvement from his WTF portrayal of the anti-social (and possibly mentally challenged?) Daniel in PS I Love You, which I’m also a little embarrassed about seeing. Even more so, I have noooo idea how a copy of this DVD got on my shelf…

NOT Matthew Villanueva

The movie failed when Renne Zellweger came on screen.
Yankism003

A very large, old, building was being torn down in Chicago to make room for a new skyscraper. Due to its proximity to other buildings it could not be imploded and had to be dismantled floor by floor.

While working on the 49th floor, two construction workers found a skeleton in a small closet behind the elevator shaft.

They decided that they should call the police. When the police arrived they directed them to the closet and showed them the skeleton fully clothed and standing upright. They said, “This could be Jimmy Hoffa or somebody really important.”

Two days went by and the construction workers couldn't stand it any more, they had to know who they had found. They called the police and said, “We are the two guys who found the skeleton in the closet and we want to know if it was Jimmy Hoffa or somebody important.”

The police said, “It's not Jimmy Hoffa, but it was somebody kind of important.”

“Well, who was it?”

“The 1956 Blonde National Hide-and-Seek Champion.”

respect
Griffin
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