If I only had a heart beat…

Ok so I’ve been trying out this “blog” thing now for over a month, and I must confess- I’m still trying to figure out what exactly I’m trying to do here. I’ve been doing some reading of other people’s blogs, and it seems most people have a purpose. I was thinking that maybe I should try to find a purpose too, rather than just posting random shit that I find interesting and sharing random little tidbits of my life to strangers… but then I decided that since I’m a pretty random person, that’s how this blog shall continue to be- at least for the time being. Plus I don’t really have anything to teach you, I’m not really an expert on any particular subject- except maybe failure.


I am planning on making one minor adjustment though. I think I’ve been holding back a little, for fear of who may be reading this- and from this moment on- I’m making a vow to blog like no one’s reading. Which should be easy, since at this point- that’s pretty much true.  I also have been pretty bad at writing in my own personal journal, so I’ll use this opportunity to write the stuff that I would write only to myself. If that makes sense.  So, if you don’t give a crap about what happened in my day, then go away. I’ll get over it.


So far, this week has been pretty uneventful. I had kind of fallen off the working out wagon for a couple of weeks, and now I’m back. If you don’t know, I have lost about a bit of weight over the last 2 years- (96 lbs, but who’s counting?) and now I’m not so focused on losing more- but I am bound and determined to finally tone up. It’s either that or I need to find a new job where I actually have health insurance that would cover a tummy tuck that would probably rival that of Kate Gosselin. Note: The previous sentence is the only time in my life where I will ever compare any part of my life to that of any Gosselin.


The last 3 days I’ve actually run-walked (mostly walked) at least 5 miles, and did weights and crunches… and my body feels it. Even my hands are sore from gripping the top of the treadmill so hard. Seriously, it hurts to type. But I’m not risking falling off the treadmill again.


I did have a bit of an unusual situation yesterday. You know how you can put the treadmill on different settings like trainer, fat burner, cardio etc.? Well I usually don’t like to do those settings because they require you to enter your weight, and I don’t particularly want the douche-bag on the weight machine behind me to know just how much more I weigh than him-not that I care what he thinks. I have actually gotten over anyone judging me at the gym. You kind of have to when you accidentally wear a pair of light gray leggings to spin class. (Don’t try and tell me your butt doesn’t sweat…)


Anyway, yesterday I decided to try the fat burner setting on the treadmill. The other problem I have with the settings is that I’ve never had any luck with machines being able to read my heart rate. They either tell me my heart is erratically going from 150 beats per minute to 25 beats per minute, or that I have no heart beat at all. So I was pretty surprised yesterday when I noticed that there was a steady 123 where the words “Need HR” are usually blinking. It didn’t strike me as unusual that I had already met my target heart rate within my first 3 steps on the treadmill.


“Yay, target heart rate! I’m not dying of heart failure!,” were my thoughts, since usually I see my heart rate bottoms out at 14 beats per minute.


As I reluctantly switched the speed from 3.5 to 4.2, I kept a watchful eye on my heart rate. It stayed right around the 123 mark, which was interesting- but I didn’t really think too much about it. I was just happy to know that I had a heart.


After a few minutes I decided to really throw my figurative balls to the wall and raise the speed up to a slow jog, which is the only form of running I will attempt. I watched my heart rate go down to 121 then right back up to 123. It was around this point that I realized that I was running, and my hands weren’t even on the handles.


“Holy crappola! My heart must be so strong that the machine can feel it vibrate through my body!”


There was a short time when my heart rate disappeared completely. I slowed my pace and tried to put my hands on different parts of the treadmill, since I knew through the course of the workout my hands had been anywhere from the handles, to the sides (to hold myself up,) to the top of the treadmill. Just  as the person occupying the treadmill next to me returned from getting a quick drink of water, I quit fondling my treadmill and what do you know? My heart beat returned at about 67 beats per minute and gradually returned to the 123 mark.


I usually like to keep tabs on the time and calories burnt of the people around me (I know it’s not a competition,) so it is kind of surprising that I hadn’t noticed the bald guy next to me had the exact same exact heart rate as I did, until I was cooling down.


You probably think I have something wrong with me but I didn’t make the full connection until I was off the treadmill and the still machine was still showing my heart rate.


Damn digital heart rate monitors.  The only thing I can really say about the fact that I had spent an entire hour on the treadmill focused on watching my heart rate-which was actually the heart rate of the guy beside me- is that it worked as a good distraction. I guess it’s still up in the air as to whether or not I have a heart…

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