a pill, a miracle, a recipe (written on ambien)

OK so now I can’t really type, but I’ve been wandering what would ensue if I were to write on ambien. Here goes nothing.

I have had a really tired week. I drank a little too much every night, and now, finally, I have drinken 4 beers followed by a little friend called ambien… and i feel wweeeiiiirrrrd. don’t judge this writing. I love spell check though. it makes ya smell good.. spell good i think i mean. wowwwsa. It should be time to go to bed, but this is an experiment.

so there are things I have been wanting to talk about. One of them being the fact that the other night my roommates and i decided to have a salsa cookoff. In order to do so, we had to take a trip to the most (i can’t think of the word to put here) ________  grocery store in dallas….. DRUMMMMM ROOOOLLLLL>>>> The Central Market.

This place is absolutely like an amusement park for older, richer people, You don’t have as many rides, but there are so many things to look at. We always start out in the veggies, and pick up each strange specimen wandering how it would be edible in any country. There are big round yellow things (maybe egg-plant?) I dont knows… either way there is a shit ton of crazy shit to see and touch,

But in this case we were making salsa, so we went grab crazy for every type of pepperish plant we could get our hands on. For example, my basket was chopped full of poblanos, jalapenos, green chili, bell peppers and jabaneros. Maybe some other stuff too. I had to be reminded that if I’m making salsa I should probably get some tomatoes and onions and shit too. So I did that. Ok im losing my mind track. but im still pullin through. Bear (not the animal)  with this ambien head.

We then, for no reason at all travel around the corner to the meats. There are many that look very yummy, and if I wasn’t so poor and just in the mood to make salsa, I would have bought all of them. at least the tuduckerlkjre .. I don’t remember what its called, but its like a duck in a chicken stuffed in a turkey, or something like that. this is getting weirder.

so next we (for the first time in our lives) skip past the wine section, and are on a mission to try and find the most normal thing that could be sold in a central market. tomato paste. YAYYYYY it was there, bear.

So now I had lost my roommates but I knew they would be in the cheese section.. and oh yes i was right. Our house would seem like a fun house (as it does now in my state) if we did not keep mucho cheeses and smelly cheeses and garlic cheeses at our disposal. They go bad if you don’t cover them well, or so I have been scolded.

After the cheeses, we are pretty much in the clear, unless we catch eyes with the icecream like stuff… whats it called.. not custard but something like it. This time we didn’t come out with a large tub so I feel we won that war. I did have to run back through the maze to grab a couple protein bars, but that only took a second. Usually standing in the line is the worst. On average we usually leave with about 3  extra “line” grabs (chex mix, sweet peanuts, carrot chips, fried garlic,) but on this day i believe im the only one who came out with something like this, but now I can’t remember what it was.

We get home, and begin the race to get our salsas finished before our stomachs waged war against each other in the kitchen. We had 2 food processors, and a vegetable chopper that we literally had to hold up knives and wage ambien pills in order to get to use the utensils.

I can’t go into much more detail as I am falling asleep and putting readers to sleep. I will give you the non Julie Powell’s version of the recipe for my green chili salsa, which i think is pretty much a mutha bomb.


8 roasted green chilis.

4 jabanero peppers

5 home-grown jalapenos from my garden

2 white onions

5 poblano peppers

maybe 6-9 peices of fresh garlic

cilantro- not a lot not a little

some spices.. maybe some cumin, a little vinegar, something red if you have it like red pepper (ground)

one small can of tomato paste


Cut that shit up as small as you can. I just kinda cut it and then through it into a processor to grind it all for me.

repeat as many times as you need with the peppers, and add more to taste.

clean your hands very nicely and as long as you have no open cuts on your hands you should be fine to moosh that shit around with your hands and it feels pretty cool too.

Then its prob best to put it over some heat and let it simma down now, so that it tastes flavorful. at this point- hopefully you have been on ambien or at least drinking and you will think it is delious too. Maybe I’ll try to post this again tomorrow once Im semi refressed. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


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  • Name

    The tub…it's call gellato (sp?) I to am on ambien and your whole post just shook the entire time I read it!! If I fall you will catch me, salsa after saaaalsa.

  • Name

    The tub…it's call gellato (sp?) I to am on ambien and your whole post just shook the entire time I read it!! If I fall you will catch me, salsa after saaaalsa.