I’m really confused

I just read this article about this dude who got arrested with 1,000 pairs of underwear. I understand it was written in a UK newspaper about a German guy, but this article has left me with so many questions. Not only has the wording got me a little confused, but I am left wanting to know so much more.

First off, were these “knickers” of the men, or the women variety? I’m going to go ahead and assume  they must be guy’s panties because it wouldn’t surprise me one bit to hear that a guy took off with 3 pairs of panties after sleeping with some dumb whore, plus it mentions that he had also been collecting swim trunks.  Not only that, but he was caught with 3 pairs in a bag leaving a club- and no straight guy brings a murse out to party. Ok, bear with me, I’m trying to piece this together.

So now I am also going to assume that the cops raided (is that the right past tense?) this gay guy’s apartment because he left a club with 3 pairs of men’s underwear. I’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess that this “club” he was leaving was a gay bar. And if this is the case, and gay bars are the same in the UK as they are here, then it certainly wouldn’t be strange for a gay guy to leave a gay bar with 3 pairs of men’s panties.

Now to the really confusing part, he has all these pairs of panties, he washes them and keeps them neatly put away. What the hell kind of perv is this?

Now I’m beginning to think that maybe he’s just a neat freak who couldn’t stand the site of dirty underwear crumpled up on the floor of the gym. My mom used to be like that. I would leave a gently worn pair of panties on the floor to go take a shower, and when I got out to get dressed they would already be on the 3rd cycle of the wash.

Now back to panties perv. “They were all in use”?? What  the hell does that mean? He stole, he wore, he washed, and then he neatly put them away.

I’m perplexed with this guy. I now want to know what his home looks like. What does he look like? Does he switch out underwear more than once a day? Does he (grimace) sniff before washing? Did he start this because one day he got fed up with running out of underwear before he was out of other clothes?

And most importantly, Boxers or Briefs?

I just wanted to look at this
I just wanted to look at this

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