**this post was written yesterday (Monday.)
Today was a crazy craptastic sort of Monday. I woke up to thunder, forgot my lunch, realized my pants looked like hammer pants and my shirt kept coming unbuttoned. On top of that, I actually got called a mother-f*cker by a customer. ewwww.
So, I decided tonight there is absolutely nothing I would rather do than be nostalgic for my weekend. Which, lets be honest; except for a few things- was a pretty bad ass weekend. Here I’ll show you!
First off some of my friends and I went to see the Fray. While they are not my favorite band in the world, we ended up having a blast!!
There is a good chance we got more of a kick out of laughing at drunk teenagers than we did out of the actual concert.
We certainly didn’t skimp on the 12 dollar beers at the venue.
We left the concert happy, and had a nice Michael Jackson/old rap song sing along to prepare ourselves for some karaoke. Some where along the way I lost a flip flop. This wasn’t the first time in the last month. or even the 3rd.
Unfortunately, We got there a little late to really get much singing in. Don’t think that didn’t stop me from joining a random guy in singing America’s “Sister Golden Hair onstage, as well as performing a dance along to a performance of “All That Jazz.” The latter ended with a drunk old weirdo trying to crawl under my dress and one of my girlfriends almost kicking his ass. The first part part of this situation being rather disgusting, the second-pretty bad ass.
The night didn’t end particularly well, and I won’t go into details. I’ll just say sometimes humans can be major assholes.
The next morning, I was in a particularly foul mood, and spent the majority of it feeling sorry for myself. In an effort to improve my mood, a few of my friends decided that what I needed was to jump the diet ship and go for a big delicious hamburger. In order to ensure that it was worth it, they drove me 50 minutes away to enjoy a burger at Carl’s Jr.
After eating, my weekend took a dramatic turn for the better. I decided it would be an excellent idea to buy a ten dollar scratch off lottery ticket. My friends disagreeing with me made it seem like an even better idea. Even though I’ve never won more than a free diet coke at McDonalds, I figured that the way my day was going it couldn’t get any worse.
And I was right! With every scratch I won another ten dollars to total a whopping $200. I know to some this may not seem like much, but to me- it was just as exciting as winning one of those convertables in the mall.
Needless to say, I became a little more chipper.
Oh yeah, I was still wearing the same dress from the night before, don’t judge.
Since I was in major need of some retail therapy (and have made a recent vow to see how long I can go only shopping at resale shops) I decided to take my newly earned lottery money and have some fun at the local Goodwill. Why I did not take any pictures of this, I do not know. We found some amazingly horrible gems that school teachers around the world (no offense mom) would have gone ape shit over.
A little later we made our way to one of my roommate’s mother’s surprise birthday party at a little dive in Lewisville.
Near the beginning of the night, I really didn’t think I would make it 20 minutes, I was so tired. Turns out, all I needed was a few cocktails before I was singing on stage with the entertainment.
I ended up pretty much staying on stage for the remainder of the evening. I have some pretty awesome (err) videos that I will upload as soon as I can figure out how. Some of the highlights include Jake and my rendition of Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody”, and Denny and I singing yelling “You’ve Lost that Lovin Feeling.” And of course I can’t forget (although I’d like to) my hour sing along to old George Straight songs with a drunk cowboy, or the all too embarrassing free style that I did to “Bust a Move.”
Here are a few other images so you can get an idea how our night went down. I’m not proud my roommate’s grandmother was there to witness this!
Eventually, It was time for me to be carried and disposed of in our hotel room by our bartender Luke. He looked kind of like Kevin Smith, and wore a shirt that said “Ever rode a fat guy, want to?” Thank goodness I have friends who wouldn’t have let me endure that experience. Nevertheless, I must have been feeling a little frisky, bc at some point during the night I felt the need to undress. Thank goodness my the only other people who could have witnessed this were gay, and were too passed out to know anything was amuck.
I woke up in a panic when I realized I slept the entire night under the cardboard-ish motel sheets, that we all know are never cleaned, and knew that I had probably either contracted a bad case of lice or bed bugs… or worse.
We also woke up to discover we didn’t get a bargain on our hotel room as we had thought, but had actually probably over paid.
This didn’t make us very happy.
We decided to make our selves feel better, with a big breakfast… in a little shanty. Our waitress told the family next to us that she did not like children, “Because they smell like shit, ther dirty, ther stupid, and i jist dont likem.” The little red head girl at the table didn’t seem very stupid, and didn’t seem very happy about this at all.
I ordered all of this. I almost ate it all. I am not proud.
After this I spent a little time in the pool, where I had a slight relapse of depression, so decided to emotionally eat once again.
By the time we left Red Lobster I had no choice but to go back on the dieting wagon, as I had no more lottery money with which to indulge myself. I watched the “Haunting of Connecticut,” (which was ok) took and ambien, and went to sleep. I don’t know if this weekend was a success or fail, but my gut is telling me to go to the gym.